Page 78 of Partnering with the Artist

My nerves are shot. My heart is in the wrong place. I don’t know how I’m going to stuff food in my face, maintain aconversation, and present calm. But I’mfine. Of course I’m fine. I’m always fine.

Her free hand lifts, cups my cheek. Her thumb swipes over my curved lips. I’m…smiling.

I’m smiling.

I didn’t realize I was smiling.

Everything inside me collapses, panic rises, falls, erupts, but I keep smiling.

I keep smiling until Maelin throws her arms around me, grips my clothes, crushes me. Then, slowly, my body calms down, and my smile falls. My lips part as I lift my shaking arms around her, burrow against her. Filling my lungs with air, I whisper, “Maelin.”

“Breathe with me, Zakery,” she says. “I’m right here.”

Letting my eyes close while I breathe in time with her, I wait for the pain to subside.

“You can be yourself.” She presses her cheek to my heart. “I promise nothing bad will happen if you’re just yourself.”

“I’m too…arrogant,” I whisper. “I’m not good enough for you.”

“You are. You love me, Zakery. That makes you better than anyone else. You’re here, for me, when you’re terrified. You’re sacrificing what you want for my sake. That’s love, isn’t it? To do that with consistency is how you define love, isn’t it?”

I squeeze her, filling my arms with her weight. “I love you, so much. They’re going to take you away from me.”

“They’re going to assimilate you into the family,” Maelin whispers. “Which is, arguably, more terrifying, but comes with fewer repercussions. I have talked their ears off about you ever since I called and said I wanted to bring a guy home to meet them.”

“Genuinely,” I whisper, “hate that.”

She laughs. “I know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop myself. There’sso much I love about you. And I wanted to share as much of it as possible.”

“In case I shoot myself in the foot today?”

“In case you wanted to say something today, without my blabbering for a full five hours about how great you are.”

I puff a breath, kneading my forehead against the top of hers. “What do you mean that was an option?”

She giggles. It’s so light, so free, sosafe. Here in this home that she knows, full of memories, pictures, people.

I ground myself in the peace I feel when I’m with her. “I’m sorry I’m so difficult.”

“You’re not even close to difficult, Zakery.” Pulling back, she smiles up at me. “Hold my hand. We’ll do this together.”

Clasping her hand, I nod, and she leads me through a small kitchen, into a dining room, which has been set up with a taco bar.

I swipe my hand over my mouth to make sure I’ve not fallen back into any old habits, then I open my trembling lips. “Thank you for having me.” I swallow, catch some more air. “I don’t know what Maelin has or hasn’t told you both, but I didn’t grow up in a safe environment. It’s taking me a moment to adjust. I apologize for my stiffness.”

Hank smiles. “Maelin’s told us your childhood wasn’t what it should have been.”

To put things lightly, yeah.

“She’s also told us that you love her,” her mother says as she pulls out a chair. “She’s told us that you back those words with actions. And we can see that clearly already.”

I squeeze Maelin’s hand, scared of what else they might be able to see.

“She may have read us some parts of a certain form you put together.” Her father sits at the head of the table, links his fingers in front of him, and grins. “I don’t think I’d’ve had theguts to do that, young man. Putting commitments in writing like that is dangerous. That’s an awful lot of good intentions you’ll have to hold yourself to.”

My heart quakes. “Well…yes, s-sir…that is the point.”

His eyes twinkle as he nods. “Indeed it is. Normally, it takes years of struggling to make things work in a marriage before you figure out thepointthat you outlined very distinctly. On fifteen pages.”

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