Page 103 of Falling in Love with A Tiny Bat

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Dark. And cold. And hot.And pain.

Pain. And fear. And suffocation.And shame.

Shame. And guilt. And guilt.And guilt.

Even though it’s not my fault.

Even though I never asked for this.

Even though I begged for it to stop.

Even though I am supposed to be aprotected child of God.

Mom must be right.

God only listens to good children who do everything He tells them to.

I’m not perfect enough for Him.

This must be punishment for something I did wrong.

Please, God.Please. If You’re out there. If You can hear me. I’ll do better. Ipromise.

Just. Make itstop.

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“Zahra!” A voice rips me from the shadows in my skull to the darkness in my room.

My flesh boils, and the darkness writhes.

The harsh voice swears as a hand tears a monster away from my blankets. “Get the—” It curses. “—off her.”

Whatever it was had a hand around my throat, but even now that it’s gone, I can’t breathe.I can’t breathe.

My throat hurts. My limbs hurt. My headaches.

A tide of horrors pummels my still-rioting subconscious.

The man in my room is tall, slender, frantic.

The man in my mind was shorter, rounder, balding.

But that doesn’t matter right now.

I never want another man near meever again.

Despite the agony lighting every one of my nerves, I am too weak to scream. I am too scared to fight. I ache too much to try and flee. All I can do as the tall man closes in is whisper a cracking, “Please, Dad.Don’t.”

The man stops, frozen, bathed in bleak outlines.

When he reaches forward, I brace for the worst, squeeze my eyes shut, and let tears cascade down my cheeks—knowing they won’t make a difference.

Monsters like this aren’t capable of mercy or compassion.

Light erupts, like a bomb, and I squint to find my lamp illuminating…Alexios.

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