Page 84 of Falling in Love with A Tiny Bat

Say…something?

What?

Saywhat?

I’ll murder anyone who’s still alive for wronging you?

What am I supposed to say?

Nothing can fix what has already happened. Nothing can take it all away.

Not even me.

Hands shaking with restrained fury, I grip her phone and push the screen down. When her eyes meet mine, I whisper, “I love you.” The words leave my throat raw, barbed. “I will always love you. No matter what.” I swallow; ithurts. “I will protect you. I will keep you safe. You don’t need to hold this alone anymore, Zahra.” Lifting my hand, I let my glove evaporate as I cup her cheek, skin to skin.

The sensation is electrifying, and just on the precipice oftoomuch.

Hoarse, I whisper, “You are worthy. You are clean. You are wanted. And, my love, if you feel broken right now, you will be healed. If there are too many pieces for you to put back together on your own, if they’re so sharp they cut your hands when you try, I will take care of it. Until you feel whole again, I will be here, showing you the love you have always deserved.”

Her hand lifts, covering mine. She presses my touch into her body, turning her face against my palm. Her brows knit as her eyes close. Shallow breaths fill her as the sludge clinging to her flesh dissipates. Bit by bit, the tangle of emotions inside her unravels.

She kisses my hand before her eyes open again, and heat swarms to my head, blistering the tips of my ears. A frail smile touches her lips. “I want to be a good mother, Xios.” Her attention skids toward Ash’s crib. “I don’t know if I can be. I don’t even know if it’s right for me to have a child when so much of why I want to raise one is…so I can love them through everything…and maybe prove to myself that it wouldn’t have been so…” She swallows, wets her lips, and crumples. “…so hard to loveme.”

Something inside me…snaps.

Rising, I cup Zahra’s chin in my palm, tip her face upward, and dip to press a kiss to her forehead. Voice vibrating with an anger I struggle to subdue, I say, “You are the furthest thing fromhard to love. I don’t know what manner of brain damage your parents suffer from, but I know that I fell in love with you when I was furious. Even upset, I couldn’t help myself. You are of asteriai blood. You shine brighter than mere mortals can comfortably perceive. You are more than lovable. You are life-giving. You are everything the ones who have hurt you cannot hope to be.” Drawing back from her forehead, I kiss her nose then meet her glistening green eyes. “Okay?”

A tear breaks free, skating down her cheek to my hand. Sniffling, she says, “Promise?”

“I do. Ipromiseyou are lovable. And a faerie’s oath cannot be broken. To the end of my days, I will love you. In every moment, I myself shall make this oath true.”

Before I pull back fully, she grips my wrist and holds me near. Crippled with weakness, she says, “Stay.”

So, I do.

Chapter 22

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Until further notice, I identify as a plastic frog.

Plucking yet another tiny frog off a windowsill at school boosts my morale a wee bit. Dropping the little plastic thing into a bag, I can almost forget that I’ve been struggling all week with what happened on Sunday.

I have never felt so important to someone before in my life.

The entire day reached inside me and turned something upside down. Once, I promised myself I would never share what happened to me when I was nine with anyone. I thought I’d never have any reason to. I never planned to have a relationship with anyone else after it. The vulnerability of putting the words outside my body is nothing short of reliving snatches of that horrible time all over again.

I have never before felt so precious to anyone else in my entire life.

“To think our littles frogged us,” Kassandra says, filling her own bag with dozens of tiny friends. “The monsters.”

Even though she says that, she’s smiling.

I let my eyes roll. “I blame Meda. This is what happens when you sanction a cell phone for a child to play with mental health birds on. They go crazy, order frogs on their Prince Uncle’s credit card, and distribute them to their army of impressionable youngsters.”

Kassandra laughs. “We’re probably going to be finding frogs for the next ten semesters.”

“What a blessing and a gift.”

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