Page 48 of A Suitable Captive

Fen gave Lan a long, confused study. “It’s not for me.”

Race’s merry laughter continued.

Lan raised his voice as if responding to Race but he kept his eyes on Fen. “A tricky sort of courting gift, yet nothing else would suit. Although,” he turned to Quan, “if you happen to know where I could get my hands on tools for embroidery and some thread, that would be a decent start.”

“Courting gift!” Quan exclaimed in surprise.

Fen stepped closer to Lan, not certain he had blinked until he finally did so and his eyes stopped stinging. “But I’m already yours. I’ve said so.”

Another surprise made Quan even louder. “That sort of alliance? Already?”

Lan tilted his head toward her without looking away from Fen. “He was not courted before, or even asked. I believe he ought to be, and given the time to decide if such an alliance is what he really wants.”

When Fen was apart from him, that was what he meant. Fen tipped his head back and wondered if courting himwas one of those things Lan had looked at Fen and thought of doing, and how long Lan had thought it.

“Heni told me not to give my heart recklessly,” he informed Lan, startled to realize he was trembling. “Dol says… things that belong in songs. You would want me?” Fen swallowed. “You don’t have to do that for me. I make suggestions, Lan, that’s all. Plans to help you. I don’t need all the lands from sea to sea.”

Lan arched one eyebrow. “I offered you a holding and that was not enough.” Fen shook his head emphatically because that wasn’t why he hadn’t wanted to go. Lan ignored that. “So I must win everything for you, and it seems you believe I’m the only one who could.”

“You know you are.” Fen glanced down, then back up to him. “You want to send me away.”

“I don’t want to.” Lan gave a snarl of his own before smoothing his tone to measured calm. “But I will, for your sake. Perhaps also for mine.”

“The worry?” Fen guessed. Lan’s silence was full of things Fen didn’t understand yet, but he sensed them there. “For the one Earl. For this one only?” he clarified, unsteady to know that Lan was unsteady too. “Then I’ll see you again? You don’t have to allow it. Our alliance doesn’t demand more.” Lan’s head went to one side. “You already know you don’t have to,” Fen interpreted that, his blood singing when Lan nodded. “But you will? Then I can stay with you?”

“When you have known peace, you might want more of it,” Lan warned.

Fen shook his head again. “Peace? With the worry in my chest all day and night? I might be warmer where you send me, or eat more than porridge, but I will still miss you.”

“Fuck,” Lan sighed it, barely audible even to Fen. “What won’t you demand of me?”

“I haven’t demanded anything.”

It was true, though Lan didn’t seem to hear or believe him. He bowed his head to ensure Fen didn’t look away and then he said, clear and loud enough to rival Quan, “I will come for you, Fen-falcon. Then you can decide.”

Fen felt like Race finding Dol again; he wanted nothing more than to hide against Lan’s chest. “The song will be out by then, the one Dol wants sung. People will know.” Lan nodded, possibly not understanding what Fen was telling him because he didn’t know what was ‘plainly obvious’ to everyone else. “They will think us courting even without gifts, especially if you come for me. With others, announcing intent or feelings to others is enough. Showing affection,” so openly and carelessly, “is enough.”

“Yes. But that is not the way of nobles.” Lan was calm, or appeared so. “You offer alliances and discuss terms, if you’d like to also do that.”

“I have no family willing to do that for me.” Fen looked at Quan, who watched him with wide eyes. “I will do it myself,” he decided aloud, as unheard of and startling as any of Lan’s decrees. “But you’ll have me long before that task is done,” he added for Lan alone. “Making an alliance with… not The Acana. With me. Fen of… not the morra, either. Although if we were to do as many nobles do, we would be both together. Acana and morra.” He frowned slightly. “Though perhaps Acana will not signify much by then and we’ll have to give it different meaning. But I won’t be rid of the morra. It matters to you.”

“I’m confused,” Dol called out. “In the noble way of things, is that an acceptance?”

“It’ll do for now!” Lan called back and then stared at Fen before exhaling heavily, like he was contemplating work yet to be done.

A cheer went up from the camp, making Quan jump. People shouted out well wishes and promises of wine as though Fen and Lan were already married. Another cheer followed those.

Lan curled a hand around Fen’s wrist.

Fen dropped his head to hide some of his darkened face; Lan’s gaze was so warm andpublic. “Quan and her people are probably tired. I am sure Tellan would like to take care of them. And Quan’s hands, Lan,” for that Fen glanced up again, realizing what had vexed him earlier, “they’re still bound.”

Lan’s thumb slipped beneath the leather, sweeping back and forth as though Fen weren’t already trembling and hot. “Your cousin has not agreed to anything. She’s a little less rash than you, cub.”

“I wasn’t rash,” Fen answered quietly. “You were the best option. You carried me. You whispered things to me that made me ache.”

Lan was silent.

Fen frowned. “They’re already disarmed, Lan. Must your rope stay on her?”

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