Page 58 of Forget Me Not

Penn should have been promoted by now. For appearances and political reasons, but also on her own merits. Not Ray. He wasn’t the type to play especially nice, and anyway, choosing a fairy, even a part fairy, would ensure death to any of those sorts of ambitions if he’d had them. That was the department, and that was the city and even the state, to this day. That was what he’d chosen when he’d come here, and stuck with, despite all sense and reason and the ache in his chest.

Ray stopped and nearly stumbled when Penn bumped into him. He took a step, heavy and slow, as if he was wearing iron shoes, like a character in a fairy tale he could not remember reading but which must have been read to him.

He saw a bench, one of the kind with dividers so the unhoused couldn’t sleep on it. That felt like something from a fairy tale too, bars of cold iron to prevent a lost princess from resting.

Ray didn’t read fairy tales. His mate must.

He flinched and sat, suddenly, clumsily, on the bench, the books and files in his lap.

He was at a bus stop. He couldn’t recall walking that far. But then, he couldn’t recall much of anything.

Penn sat next to him with much more grace. “I’m tired.”

Ray stared at the bus map on the plexiglass wall of the little bench shelter. Fairies rarely drove. Cal probably knew the bus routes by heart.

He finally sighed. “Me too.”

Penn grabbed Ray’s forearm, holding onto him. “And you’retellingme you are?“ she asked in disbelief.

Ray lowered his head. “It feels like I’ve traveled through time into a future I don’t recognize. I also know every molecule, every atom.” Cal must read about chemistry too. “I’m surprised, and I’m stupid for being surprised, I think.” Ray’s lap smelled of red licorice, which was neither artificial cherry nor artificial strawberry. “They didn’t ask after him. I don’t think he was ever more than an incidental concern. That’s a relief, in a way. It means they weren’t aiming for him.”

“They?” Penn asked, but then exhaled deeply. She took one of the licorice packages and opened it. “Just breathe, Ray, while I stress-eat.”

Ray frowned and breathed. In the distance, if he turned his head, was City Hall and of course, the station. He didn’t turn his head. Penn moved her hand to the back of Ray’s neck and left it there while she used the other to stuff red licorice in her mouth.

“This is from before him.” Ray didn’t need his memories to know it. “His presence altered the situation. It’s no wonder….” Ross had tried to remove Callalily for personal reasons, but anyone might have tried it, back when… back when Ray had been valuable enough for them to want to keep around. “Cal would have something to say about that. Something he wouldn’t say, because of me.”

“Do you want a response to this or are you just trying to get your thoughts out?” Penn prompted through a mouthful of candy.

“I didn’t claim him right away. He implied several reasons why. He makes sacrifices for me. Ridiculous.” Ray exhaled through his nose and felt like an angry bull. But his voice was low. “What have I done to earn that? And what havetheydone to earn him?“ He didn’t look or gesture back toward City Hall and the police station. “He shouldn’t go anywhere near them.”

“Oh, one tells oneself lies. That you’re helping, for example. That there is no one else even trying to do the right thing, so you have to….” Penn trailed off, then sighed, then waved a piece of licorice around as she spoke. “Cal likes solving puzzles, and he likes helping other beings, and he likes being around us. He had issues with this place long before he met you. His father… his mother. Mostly his father. They’re better now, from what I can tell. I’m not sure what happened there. Maybe he and Calvin talked. Maybe they have a big Raymond buffer between them now, through which they can feel their feelings at each other.” Ray twitched. Penn ignored it. “Personally, I think Cal still helps out here occasionally because he’s gathering intel for his other work—which I do not fault him for—and because it allows him to keep an eye on you. And also maybe… maybe he grew up with Calvin Parker, and despite himself, he wants, or wanted, to believe that some nobility must exist in a place where Calvin Parker worked so hard for so long. Cal is a romantic. So is Calvin, despite everything. Which you’d know if someone hadn’t scooped it out of your brain.”

“Nice imagery,” Ray heard himself answer.

Penn shrugged and handed him the licorice piece.

Calvin Parker was familiar and yet a blank in Ray’s mind. It was news to Ray that Cal didn’t get along with him. Ray probably shouldn’t go to Calvin for advice then.

“A romantic?” Ray absently considered the stick of licorice, then handed it back to Penn. “He’s a fairy, but he’s been trying to keep a part of himself contained, hidden, for me, and I don’t know if I noticed.” Ray worked his jaw. “He shouldn’t choose me again.”

“I’m tempted to slap you,” Penn informed him, and then did it, lightly, with the piece of licorice.

Ray narrowed his eyes and turned to her.

Penn tore off a bite of the licorice and chewed it before deigning to speak again.

“After Ross, you stopped going to your mandated therapy the second you could get out of it. Your only interest outside of work was that skinny werewolf pup you found and guided, in your way, and whom you still worry about, I think, even if you won’t say so. Your work means a lot to you, always has. But then there was Ross. The fallout.” She held the partially eaten licorice stick in front of Ray’s face until Ray took it and then ate it to keep her from using it on him again. Penn just grabbed a new one. “The hatred became more open. You and I are still the only ones even remotely trusted in the village and that isveryconditional. Then, there were the recent events. The dragon. Florence arrested for defending an empty home.“ Penn shrugged. It looked forced. “Tensions are high, and you and I are extremely visible. The only two beings to make it this long, to get even this high. It takes a lot to stay here. You didn’t mind that, because you believed in it.” She chewed for several moments. “Cal might have had—okay,has, issues with most of it, but he’s part being. He understands trying to change the status quo, even if he disagrees with the methods.“ She put down what was left of her licorice, then added, in a much quieter voice, “And possibly was right to.”

Penn was trying to imply something about Ray, and Ray was not in the mood to discuss his obsession with work or why he did it. As she had just said, he’d skipped out on his therapy sessions. All Ray had done was fail, anyway, in saving anyone, or in protecting Cal. “I should have…”

“Maybe.” Penn cut him off. “Maybe we should have made more fuss. Or maybe that would have set all this into motion earlier. Maybe we should have left long ago, but then what about the people who were counting on us? There are a lot of what-ifs, and neither of us are seers. If we…” Ray waited in silence for her to continue. “If we did the wrong thing,” she finally went on, steady if not calm, “that can’t be changed now. There is only what happens next. No matter how scary that is.”

A bus approached, loudly coming to a stop before the doors opened. Two humans and an elf got off. The elf had a bike and it caught on the doors. Ray put the books and files to the side, got up, picked up the bike and set it on the ground, then waved off the driver to let him know he and Penn were not waiting for a ride. The elf glared up at him and thanked him profusely at the same time. Ray waved that off too. He sat down as the bus left the curb.

Penn was watching him and back to stress-eating.

“They offered you a promotion.” Ray brought up something he had known about for a while but hadn’t been sure how to mention. “You turned it down.”

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