Page 101 of Forget Me Not

Ray touched the worst of the two bites as lightly as he could. Cal shivered, skin prickling, but tipped his head to let Ray inspect the rapidly healing damage. Some traces of blood remained, but the wounds appeared to have closed. Everything was red or pink, or subtly darkening to purple. The rest of Cal’s skin was warm, sometimes tacky with drying lube and sweat. Ray would have buried his face in Cal’s shoulder again, but Cal put a hand to Ray’s chest to stop him.

“There’s my hero.” Cal was incandescent, blooming, radiant. Full of energy in a way Ray wasn’t and couldn’t be. Though Ray was still standing and that would do. He had pleased his Callalily, and even if he never felt better, he felt good right now, basking in sun and sparkles.

“I can do it again.” Ray refused to let it be a question.

Cal wrinkled his nose, then pursed his lips, the post-sex daze leaving him by the second. “Do what?” He clucked his tongue as he seemed to realize. “We already talked about this, Raymond, although you using your toy on me was an unexpected treat with things as they are.”

“Not that.” Ray scowled for the sake of it, and for being calledRaymondin that tone, and… for everything else Cal had said. He swallowed again and debating rinsing his mouth out in the sink, if he could bend down that far. Removing the taste of Cal might help him think clearer. “I mean that I can be better, this time. Make it better. You wouldn’t have to chase me,” he elaborated when Cal didn’t follow.

Cal didn’t scowl. His expression, while close to a frown, was more befuddled. “Were you thinking about that while I was slicking up the cock for you to use? Why?” He shook his head. “Maybe I liked it, a little, chasing you. As frustrated as I was, it made me feel… like I was one of you. A were, in a way.Wait.” He gave Ray a sharper study. “We don’tneedto do all of that again. We’re already here.” He gestured between them, lightly smacking Ray in the chest.

Ray took hold of Cal’s hand to save himself. “I could try harder to make you happy,” he explained, the words dragged out because they seemed obvious.

Evidently, they weren’t.

“You did!” Cal defended Ray, then undermined himself without appearing to notice. “I think without realizing you were, sometimes. And other times, you couldn’t help yourself. You had to protect me, support me, feed me. I mean… it was kind of all a fairy could want, and most humans for that matter.”

Ray swept his thumb over the bruising mark Cal had allowed Ray to give him. “I reacted as they would. How humans would, to a fairy. Not as I should have.”

“No group is a hundred percent good or wise. Not weres, not even humans. I bet plenty of fairies over the centuries have fled in terror from wolves and other beasts—at least, until they got a good look at those colors.” Cal picked up Ray’s hand to, to Ray’s confusion, playfully bite Ray’s thumb. He kept Ray’s hand when he was done. “Fairly sure my parents prove that even finding your happiness is no guarantee.” Cal said that in a gentler voice than he had used previously to talk about his parents. “Real world problems matter. Ugh. I can’t believe I am talking about “the divorce” like this.” The finger quotes were audible. But he was already onto a new subject, or back onto the old one. “So… everything else going on right now and you want to woo me all over again? Or just woo me, I guess?”

Meeting his eyes made Ray’s heart flip, but he did it. He used words as well. “What if I never remember?”

Cal’s heartbeat wasn’t steady either. “Terrifying but solid point,” he replied with false calm, then fell forward until his forehead was against Ray. He let Ray hold him up. “Okay,” he said after several moments of a quicker than usual pulse. “It’s unnecessary, but okay. But I will make it easy for you and tell you what I like.”

Ray closed his eyes to breathe him in. “I can already tell some things.” He probably had before as well. He just hadn’t done much about it. “Your candy tastes are extremely varied, at least compared to Penn’s, but you tend toward the old-fashioned. Nothing very sour. Chocolate is acceptable. Almonds and other nuts, flowers, fruit… you like those flavors but then you like those neon blue breakfast foods.” Cal puffed a laugh at that. Ray opened his eyes. “You acted like that donut that was blessing, for some reason. You don’t need to go easy on me.”

“But I like to give you sugar and softness, Ray Ray.” Cal tipped his head back. His expression was serious. “You don’t give yourself enough softness, so I must. And sugar too. And teasing, and hugs, and… I told you. This is how I keep you.” He scrutinized Ray, Ray’s colors, closely, and briefly seemed thrown by something. “But if the wolf wants a chase, then I don’t mind. I will run just enough, and I will even warn you this once about the boundaries of this agreement you are foolishly making with one of my kind.”

The old tales about fairies hadn’t occurred to Ray. Even after being told fairies could curse, he’d forgotten the danger they could present.

Cal’s grin was bloodthirsty. “You like to hurt me but not hurt me. You will allow me almost anything in public—except yourself. And no, I don’t mean letting me suck you off or anything like that. I meanyou. You ask how to woo me, and the answer is not—entirely—candy or flowers. The answer is yourself, Raymond. You think you’re too wild. Or that you aren’t, but people will think you are because you’re wolf. That you are not allowed to be yourself, though you’ve been delicately avoiding saying so because you’re ridiculously loyal to a bunch of—ahem.” Cal popped his neck and took a breath and seemed calm. “Plenty of those cops fuck their girlfriends and mistresses or whatever in their cars. But not you. Not even with your ma—ango smoothie. Which is okay.” His tone eased, lightened back into fondness. “Fairies don’t mind public but public isn’trequired.”

Ray leaned in to give him a good sniff.

Cal looked disgruntled. “Okay, yes,somepeople might have once or twice implied it means you don’t want me that much. But I know better.”

“I made you cry,” Ray reminded him.

“This!” It was a tiny howl. “This situation made me cry!”

Ray had meant in the past and Cal knew it. “I’m supposed to be your happiness. I don’t know if I can do that.”

“This isyourbargain.” Cal studied him. “It has no end date. And it doesn’t preclude me wooing you.” He rubbed his nose through Ray’s chest hair before peering up again. “Can I? Like a wolf would?”

Ray looked at Cal’s shining, multicolored, mussed hair and the tips of his wings, visible over Cal’s shoulders. His wings hadn’t healed yet. “But you’re not a wolf,” Ray said distractedly, wondering if Calvin had been right about more sugar helping fairies heal faster. Maybe the wings, already so delicate, were the last to repair themselves. He realized Cal was hurt, wide-eyed and startled. Ray focused on him again. “You’re fairy and human, and that’s what I chose.”

He did not understand the squeak, or how it was followed by, “Fuck, you’re devastating.”

“You’re strong,” Ray added, not wanting to bring any more hurt into the room. “Being wolf doesn’t mean always being strong.” Which Ray knew better than most.

It was the wrong thing to say. Cal stiffened and then slid off the counter to his feet. “What am I doing? You should be resting, not fussing over me. Er,” he glanced around, “I am going to have to clean up in here. It’s the only bathroom and my dad won’t say anything, but he will definitely be uncomfortable if he sees—” Cal blinked several times. “What are he and my mother doing out there?”

Ray angled his head to the side. The TV was still on, which had probably covered any louder noises. As for the rest, Ray coughed. “They’re talking very quietly.”

He resolved to avoid the kitchen for a while. Let it air out.

Cal narrowed his eyes.

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