She gives me a curt nod before bringing the sandwich to her mouth. I watch as she takes the first bite.
“This is good. Thank you,” she says politely.
“Of course. If you are still hungry when you are done, I can make you more. Or something different. I have medicine you need to take too. We will nurse you back to health,” I tell her.
“Don’t you have to be places? You were never here before,” she says.
“I know. I stayed away because I thought it would be best for you. I do have places to be, but they can wait. I want you to feel better before I leave.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t need a babysitter. I already promised to not kill myself again.”
I swallow hard. I want to believe her, but I don’t. Suicide is no joke. I can’t trust the words she says when her actions spoke loud and clear. She does not want to be alive.
She will, though.
“That’s not why.” At least not the only reason. “Seeing you like that scared me. I won’t be able to concentrate until I know you are okay.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
I let her finish her sandwich in silence. When she finishes, she tries to move again but winces.
“How can I help?” I ask.
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
I nod. “Let me help you stand.”
I move to her side of the bed, pulling her to her feet. Once she is steady, I watch her walk into the bathroom. The door closing gives me a bit of a panic, but after a few moments she comes back out.
“Here, take your medicine,” I tell her, taking two bottles of pills and shaking out one of each.
I hand her the pills, then the water. She takes them without question. Then I help settle her back into bed.
“Do you need anything else?” I ask.
“Just some peace and quiet.”
“Ask and you shall receive. I’ll be in the other room.”
She nods, already falling asleep.
I grab the plate, leaving the glass in case she needs a drink. Closing the door softly behind me, I head into the kitchen. I wash her plate and put it up before going into the living room.
The urge to check on her is too strong, so instead of watching television, I head back to the bedroom.
My heart settles when I see her resting peacefully.
Quietly, I climb into bed next to her on top of the covers. I only mean to lie there for a minute, but soon my eyes grow droopy.
As I drift off to sleep, the last thing I think is that Olena is going to kill me when she wakes up.
It’ll be worth it, though.
Boredom rolls through me. The bedroom is so quiet that it feels loud. Something I didn’t even know was possible.
Once upon a time I used to dream of the day when I could lie in bed and do nothing. I would fantasize about not having to be anywhere or do anything. My time would be my time and my time alone.
I once heard that dreams aren’t all they are chalked up to be. I thought the person who said it was crazy, but now I find merit in it.