Page 94 of Cross-Check

“What’s on your mind?” she asks, reading me like a book.

“Honestly, I was contemplating dropping out. I feel like I’m here for the wrong reasons, and I kind of feel guilty that someone else could be using my grant or have my spot here who really wants it. Martha at DHS offered me a job that I can start right away without a degree. They even have a program that will pay for school if I want to come back later down the road.”

She nods slowly. “And you’re thinking about taking it…”

“I am.”

“Let me check something real quick.” She turns toward her computer and starts typing. After a few minutes, she turned back toward me. “Okay, let me start by saying that this is one hundred percent your decision. Only you know what’s best for you. The last thing I want is for you to be miserable doing something you don’t want to. With that said, though, your grant goes until May. If you choose to stay in school, you will have to reapply, but as long as you meet their requirements, you’ll get it. If you choose to drop out at Christmas, though, that grant won’t go to anyone until next year. They won’t pick someone new to give it to. Same thing with your status here at the university. We are no longer accepting new students for January. So again, the slot you give up wouldn’t go to someone else, not yet at least.”

“Okay…”

“Personally, if I were you, I would tough it out for the rest of the year. Your costs are covered, and you would be able to have all your gen-ed classes out of the way if and when you decide to come back. Again, the choice is yours. I’m just telling you how it looks on our end.”

Chewing on my lip, I run my hand through my hair. I don’t know what to do. Part of me was hoping that when I came in here this morning, she would tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. That I could easily leave and someone could take my place without missing a step, but of course it’s not that easy. There is also the idea that I would have had to move back home if I dropped out in January. So maybe this is the sign I needed to finish out the year.

“Have you talked to your loved ones about this?” she asks.

“No, not yet,” I admit.

“You should. Sometimes another perspective can help us make the right decision.”

Kellan instantly comes to mind. Should I be figuring him into all of this? Will he support me in my decision, or will he be like my mom, who instantly dismissed the thought?

Kellan would never.

“You’re right.” I stand. “Thank you. For everything.”

Miss Monroe stands and holds her hand out to shake mine. “Of course. My door is always open if you need to talk.”

Smiling, I leave her office. When I step outside, the chill slaps me in the face, stealing my breath. It almost feels like it resets my system in a way.

Knowing what I need to do, I pull out my phone and shoot off a text.

Me

Hey, are you busy? I want to run something by you.

* * *

My heart races as I run up the steps into Cora’s dorm building. I don’t know why, but her text made unease rush through me. Especially when she said that she wanted to meet in private.

My mind races with the possibilities of what she wants to talk about. Did something happen between the last time I saw her and now? Did I do something wrong? Did fucking Monica harass her again?

Hurrying my steps, I make my way to her dorm room door and knock. Seconds later, Cora answers with a small smile on her face.

“Hey, hotshot, thanks for coming,” she says as she steps to the side.

Okay, she seems fine, so that means we’re good, right?

“Hey, are you okay?” she asks.

Shaking my head, I realize she was waiting for me to come inside.

“Are we okay?” I blurt out, unable to make my feet move until I know for sure.

Cora’s eyes soften. “We are great, Kellan. This isn’t bad, I promise.”

Taking a deep breath, I nod and step inside. I pull her body into mine as the door falls shut behind me.

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