Page 13 of Cross-Check

He reaches across the table, taking my hand in his. “It’s okay. I can be your anchor until you figure out which path you want to take. You have time. You’re still young. You have your whole life ahead of you.”

His words calm something inside of me. As we eat and chat, I realize I never really stood a chance.

Kellan was put into my life to be exactly what I need right now.

* * *

There’s more pep in my step as I head toward the rink.

I was surprised to find Cora in my TA class. I wanted to talk to her right away, but the professor came in. I took the opportunity to ask if it would be a conflict of interest if someone I was dating was in one of his classes.

He told me that as long as I don’t grade their work, he doesn’t care. That gave me the go-ahead to approach her after class.

She seemed hesitant but agreed to lunch. By the time we were finished eating, we were chatting and flirting like it was an everyday occurrence. I just can’t believe how natural it feels to be with her.

I was happy when she let me walk her to her class, kissing the back of her hand before I sent her on her way. I loved the way her cheeks turned a pale shade of red. It kept me going all through my afternoon class.

Hell, it’s the reason I’m practically skipping to practice.

Today is a good day. I refuse to let it be ruined.

The thought crosses my mind just as the rink comes into view. My stomach sours when I see the couple kissing outside of it.

Clay and Grace.

It’s not even jealousy that makes me feel the way I do anymore. I’m smart enough to realize that while I thought I wanted Grace, it was in some abstract way. Grace is an amazing woman, but she was never right for me.

No, it’s the negativity that surrounded last year in relation to her and Clay that has me averting my gaze and skirting around them. Hell, it’s the guilt for what I put Grace through. The fact that I used to talk to her nearly every day, and now I can’t even bring myself to wave her way.

Shame.

It’s shame that has all the happiness from before flowing out of me, replaced by all the negative feelings that I cannot seem to shake. I can’t seem to let go of any of the animosity I have toward Clay for irrevocably changing my life by getting with Grace.

It’s selfish. I know it is, but sometimes knowing something and changing it is more difficult than it sounds. I have the want and desire to let it all go, but something is keeping me from doing it. I thought time healed all wounds, but this is taking a lot more time than I expected.

Changing out for practice doesn’t take me long, so I head to the ice to warm up well before anyone else does. They are all sitting around laughing and chatting, but I’m alone. There’s no one on this team who gives a fuck about me. Not even Calvin has made an effort to talk to me since the party.

It’s exhausting feeling like the outcast. I’ve wondered more than once if it wouldn’t have been better to enter the transfer portal and request another team. The only thing that stopped me is the fact that I have dreamed of playing for this team since I was a prepubescent kid. I wasn’t quite ready to give up on it yet.

The others slowly trickle in as I skate in circles around the rink. When Coach finally stops beside the ice, I go to join the rest of the team.

“I want you running drills. James, you know what to do,” he barks to Clay.

Clay turns around, separating us into groups as we start to run the drills. First, we do a one-versus-one around a circle drill. I start off slow, using it as a warm-up as intended, but one of the new players cuts me off, making me stumble.

“Watch it, Hendricks,” I hiss at him.

“Heard Cap got your girl. How’s it feel, Cooper?” he mutters to me.

I narrow my eyes at him as he skates away.

Trent Hendricks is a transfer student from Mississippi. He’s a hell of an enforcer but has a bit of a temper. It was surprising that Coach picked him up. I haven’t had much interaction with him, so I have no idea why he is targeting me now.

Throughout the drills, he continues to make comments to get under my skin. It’s working too. I can see why he’s an effective enforcer. He can get into people’s heads.

It’s during flush shooting drills that I finally snap.

“Wonder if Grace wants to take on another one of your teammates. She’s a total babe. Bet she gives good head.”

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