Page 132 of You Kissed Me First

“Thank you guys for participating. Here’s how it’s going to work. First, I need you to take your shirts off. You can set them here, and we will be sure to get them back to you. After that, you can prepare yourself any way you want. So we have some baby oil here, or you can go all-natural. Once we start, we are going to announce you. One by one, you will strut down the stairs, dancing and showing the goods. Once you get to the deck, we will have three ladies lined up to judge. I want you to stop in front of each, giving them a chance to look. Then you will end your turn. After the first round, they will eliminate two of you. I’ll explain the other two rounds when we get there. Any questions?”

We all shake our heads.

“Good. Let’s get started.”

Taking my shirt off, I set it on the chair with the rest of the men. I can see why they call it the hairy chest competition. Most of the men up here have an entire grizzly bear chest full of hair. There is no way I’m making it past round one. I barely have any hair on my chest.

Ignoring the baby oil, I wait for my turn.

I can’t deny that this isn’t funny. Watching these men of all different sizes moving to the music as they try to seduce the judges. When one of the bigger dudes bends over to twerk on the ground in front of one of the ladies, I’m doubled over laughing. Her eyes are wide like she doesn’t know what to do.

When it’s finally my turn, I move down the steps, trying to keep with the beat. I’m not the best dancer as is, and I already showed Katie my best moves to get her that stupid trophy. Glancing up to where she is sitting, she is beaming, so I do the best I can.

When I step in front of the first judge, I see she is a young girl, probably college age. She’s eyeing me like she wants a piece, so I move on quickly. The middle judge is a middle-aged woman with a wedding ring. Her face is red as if she is embarrassed. After the way the last man bent over in front of her, I can see why.

Then I get to the third woman. She’s an older woman who could be a grandma to someone. She’s dancing along with the music, motioning me to get closer. I give her a tight smile and take my place in line.

Once the men are all lined up, the women confer. I’m expecting to be eliminated right away. Then granny looks my way and shoots me a wink, making my stomach drop. She’s going to fight to keep me in this.

“Alright. Sorry bachelor number seven and three. You have been eliminated.”

I watch as the two men say their goodbyes to the judges and make their way back to their families. I wish that were me. Why the fuck did they keep me?

Then granny blows me a kiss.

I curse under my breath.

“Alright. Round two. As I call you up, each woman is going to smell you. That’s right. They are going to sniff you. Based on how good you smell, they will be eliminating another two men.”

The music comes back on. This time, I am not buying into the antics. The only woman not getting all up on these men is the middle-aged one. The other two have their hands behind their backs, but I can see the way their nose is touching all down the mens’ chests. When it’s my turn, I cringe at the way their skin feels on me. Then I get to granny. She’s a feisty one. Not only does she sniff, but when I go to move away, she leans forward, nipping my nipple with her teeth.

I jump back, shooting her a glare, but she only winks.

Looking up to where our group sits, they are all laughing at me. Especially my girl. She’s doubled over in her chair, dying of laughter.

That’s the only thing making me not storm off this stage. That and by storming off, I would probably only embarrass myself more.

Shaking my head, I wait for this round to be over and pray the other two want me gone.

I don’t have great luck. As they eliminate the next two men, it leaves the contestants to me and number five. I’m praying he wins. I do not want to win this. I have a feeling if I do, granny is going to try and take me back to her room, and I just can’t handle that.

“Who is ready for the third and final round?” The cruise director gets the crowd hyped for this next round. “For round three, they will be touching. That’s right, you will come stand in front of them, and for fifteen seconds, they can touch all up on your chest. Then they will decide on the winner.”

I groan. The man next to me shoots me a smirk.

How do I get myself into this shit?

As the music starts, I watch as each woman feels up on the bigger, hairy guy. He has to win this.

When it’s my turn, I stop in front of the college girl. She is tentative but has no problem feeling all over my chest. Looking over her shoulder, I see Katie glaring at her.

As I move on to the middle-aged woman, she’s hesitant. While she touches me, it’s only with her fingertips, as if she doesn’t actually want to do it. I appreciate her more than she knows.

Then I get to granny. She looks downright gleeful.

“Come on, sugar. Come here and let me feel those abs of yours.” Her voice holds a southern twang, making her seem innocent even though her eyes say she has devious intentions.

Her hands land on my abs, skipping my chest completely. She’s not even trying to hide that she’s aiming for lower. When she’s about to slip her hand underneath my waistband, I step back.

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