Page 59 of Harmony

“I don’t like being without my phone.”

Jacob gives me a sad smile. “It’ll be okay. Trust me.”

There’s that word again.

Trust.

How can I trust anyone? They shouldn’t trust me. All I feel like I’m doing is lying. Willow knows the mission, but she doesn’t know the details. At this point, I don’t feel like I can even risk telling her. It would only put Nate in danger. The squad thinks I joined them because I hate Willow and needed friends, but that’s not even the truth. While I really have enjoyed cheerleading again, I still feel like a fraud. They don’t know who I truly am. I can’t be open and honest with them.

I feel like in every facet of my life, I have to be on high alert. I can’t even sleep soundly anymore. Every night I wake up thinking I hear someone outside my window. It’s probably my overactive imagination, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m constantly being watched.

I thought I could handle this when Willow suggested it, but now I’m not so sure. Am I strong enough? Or was this a way for me to self-destruct my own life in the name of the people I claim are my family?

The deeper I fall into this hole, the more I doubt myself. I doubt the people around me.

The longer I can’t talk to Willow, the more I wonder if I can even trust her. Is she even still looking out for me?

Playing double agent isn’t as fun as the movies make it seem. It isn’t all action and sneaking around. It’s not exhilarating to feel the adrenaline pulse through your veins.

A lot of it is mental. You start to question things you thought you knew. Your life feels distorted. Like with Willow. Did she suggest this plan because she wanted to get me out of her life? Did Rocky put her up to it? Is Nate in on it? Maybe she told him everything. Maybe that’s why he keeps seeking me out. He’s toying with me. Playing a game with my heart while they sit back at their house laughing about how stupid I am.

She told me not to trust. That I was too nice.

Maybe she used that against me.

I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t even realize where we are right away. Jacob has been silent the whole trip, letting me stare out the window. Other than the quick stop at the coffee shop, he has only murmured the song lyrics from the radio under his breath.

When I finally pull myself out of my despair, I realize I recognize where we are.

“Why are we here?” I ask, my heart tightening in my chest.

“A friend wants to see you.” He doesn’t say anything else.

I lick my dry lips, not sure I want to do this. Why is he bringing me to my past? I left Rose Hill far behind.

I recognize the house as soon as we pull up. Climbing out slowly, I meet him at the front of the car.

“Why?” I whisper to him.

“Go inside and find out.”

I knock on the door hesitantly.

I don’t want to be here. I haven’t talked to Christine since I left here. She was the first one to drop me.

When the door opens, the smile on her face is fake. For a moment, I wonder if it was always fake, and I never noticed.

“Hailee, I can’t believe it’s really you.” She pulls me in for an awkward hug.

I pat her back. “Yeah. It’s been a while.”

“Well, come in. You too.” She wraps her arm around me as Jacob walks in behind us, shutting the door. “Aren’t you going to introduce me, Hailee?”

I roll my eyes. Always boy crazy.

“My foster brother, Jacob. You haven’t met? I figured he set this up.”

She shakes her head. “There’s something for you in my room. You remember the way, right? I’ll keep Jacob company.”

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