Page 53 of Harmony

“Tell me what happened?” he asks, sounding concerned.

I shake my head after a moment. “Nothing. I had a panic attack. I’m fine now.”

He grits his teeth. “I told you to stay away from Willow.”

“I didn’t know she’d be out here. Go back inside. I’m fine.”

He scoffs. “You’re stupid is what you are. Whatever they did? Whatever you keep letting them do? You deserve it. I would have protected you. Given you everything. You chose them,” he rants before turning and walking away. Leaving me feeling like a piece of shit.

I want everything from you, Nate, but if I let you give it to me, where would we be?

-

“What happened today?”

I startle, not realizing Tiffany had stayed behind after practice. Instead of rushing through a shower, I took my time letting the other girls filter out. Today, I needed space. Some time for myself.

“What do you mean?” I ask, turning back to grab the rest of my things from my locker.

“Lunch. You ran out and Nate followed.” Her voice holds a hint of suspicion, but nothing else.

I bite my bottom lip, not sure if I should tell her the truth. Tiffany is a bitch and seems to be the leader. I need to tell her something.

Turning to her, I give her an honest answer.

“Nate only followed me because of the direction I ran. Willow was out there. I didn’t know.”

“So why did you run?”

I look around, noting that the rest of the team has left. I move to sit on the bench, placing my head in my hands.

“I had a panic attack.”

Tiffany sits next to me. I’m prepared for her to call me a liar or demand I not speak to Nate again, but she surprises me.

“Do you get those often?” It’s the softness in her voice that draws my eyes up.

She’s concerned.

“I used to. After the accident. I haven’t had one in a long time though.”

She lets out a deep breath. “Do you think it’s cheerleading? Maybe it’s reminding you of before which is bringing it on?”

I wish,I think to myself.

At least if it was cheerleading, I would know that I could quit and be okay. Instead, it’s the one man I vowed to hate but secretly fell in love with.

I shrug in response.

“Listen, I know I can be a bitch. Being squad leader comes with a shit ton of responsibilities that stress me out. Even so, I still care about my girls. I know it might not seem like it. I saw the way you looked at me when we replaced Shannon so soon, but she was one of my closest friends once. She strayed away too far for me to catch and I’ll regret that every day of my life.” Her eyes well up. “I loved her like a sister, but breaking down wouldn’t help the team. For some of us, the college scouts at State are our only hope of getting a scholarship and getting the hell out of Ridge City. So while I may seem cold and heartless, really I have your best interest at heart. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I’m here if you need to talk.”

I’m speechless for a moment. Did she admit her real feelings to me? Or is this a game?

This is my in.

I clear my throat. “Honestly, it’s partially because of my past. After my parents died, I lost everyone in my life. My boyfriend fell off the face of the earth. My friends slowly stopped calling. Then they moved me here, and I was alone. I still feel alone sometimes. It was getting better when I had Willow. I know you hate her, but for a minute there I didn’t feel so alone. I guess that’s why I really joined the team. I missed having this.”

“That makes sense. I’m sorry about your old friends. I don’t know where you come from, but here it’s different. The girls on our squad have your back. We won’t turn on you or leave you alone. That was my goal when I took over. I wanted this to feel like a sisterhood, not just an activity to pass time.”

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