Page 60 of Killian

I just don’t understand why he’s here. He has been preaching about him wanting us to make things official, yet here he is taking in the merchandise as if he plans to make an offer. Besides that, he knows how I feel about these archaic ways.

If he really is here to make an offer, I don’t think I’ll be able to hide my fury. I may just beat him to death.

Taking a deep breath, I try not to think about it and instead think about the dress.

It’s a beautiful dress. Green is my favorite color, and he loves it when I wear it. The dress is a dark, forest green. The way it contrasts with my olive skin is hypnotizing, even to me. The dress isn’t as conservative as I would have thought; the front dipping into a deep V while the material lies against my neck, crisscrossing down my back. The way it shines brings out the golden flecks in my eyes.

I’m confident in my looks and all, but even I am amazed by how I look right now.

I’m going to take his breath away.

I want his eyes on me tonight.

It’s the whole reason I’m here. I know it’s toxic.

I tell him I can’t be with him, but then go a little psycho the moment he thinks about moving on.

I can’t help myself though. The thought of him with anyone else causes hives to pop up on my body.

As much as he claims I am his, I want him to be mine too. I don’t want another touching my body. The thought of kissing another man makes my stomach churn.

I’m fucked because the only man I will ever want is more dangerous than anyone else in my life.

I feel like there’s a war going on inside of me. The independent part telling me to leave this life behind and make a life for myself. I would gladly take Killian with me if I could, but we both know he’s in too deep. They would never let him go.

The other side of me is a whiny bitch. She wants me to stay. To beg Bash to let me marry Killian and have all his little hellions. As many as he wants as long as he never stops touching me. To give in to my heart and love him with everything I have.

If I give in to that part, I’ll lose part of myself. If I don’t, then part of me will always stay with Killian. It’s a catch-22. No winner either way.

I think that’s the worst part of this all. When I started this dangerous fling with Killian, I never imagined it would last past that summer. I never thought he would want it to.

He was twenty-seven and I was just some silly nineteen-year-old girl. I thought he would get his taste, realize I was nothing special, then disappear into the night.

He would leave with a smile, and I would be left with the memory of my rebellion.

Neither one of us thought it would turn into more. That our time together would become addictive.

You know what they say about addiction, though. Just one more hit can turn into you lying dead on the floor.

Still, I can’t pull myself away from him.

Not now. Not ever.

Maybe after I find his thief. I’ll enjoy him until then, but then I need to leave for good. Leave him behind.

Liar, my brain taunts.

Shaking my head, I head toward the common area of the suite. Enzo smiles as he takes in my attire.

“You look beautiful, Cat.”

“Thank you.” I give him a curtsy.

He laughs. “You will have myself and Alex on you tonight. Please do not run off at the party. I might turn a blind eye for the Irish man, but tonight there will be many dangers in attendance.”

“It’s a neutral zone, Enzo.”

“Being a neutral zone doesn’t mean their guns won’t work. That a knife won’t slice your skin. It’s a verbal promise of no violence, but promises are broken every day. You know that,” he scolds.

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