“If your humming didn’t give it away, the random affection did.”
I give her my best not impressed look., “I can’t give my favorite mom a kiss on the head?”
She mimics my face. “I’m your only mom.”
“Still makes you my favorite.” I take a bite of my fruit.
“Not that I mind your positive energy, but may I ask what happened at school to make you so happy?”
I shrug. “Nothing really. I’m going out with Tinsley Yates tonight for dinner, though.”
“Oh? Is Keaton going too?” Mom tries to sound nonchalant but fails.
“Nope. Girls’ night. I don’t really talk to Keaton anymore, but Tinsley has been begging me to hang out all week.”
“Why haven’t you?”
I consider my words before I speak. “I loved HDA. The techniques I learned and the people I met were amazing. The other students were not so amazing, though. I think everyone was so focused on their futures, they forgot to live in the present. I forgot to live in the present. So, all week I’ve been in that mindset, but I’m giving it up now. I want to live in the moment.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom comes over and hugs me. “I regret sending you to that school. I think it diminished your shine and made you lose a bit of your spirit too.”
“I don’t regret it, and neither should you. You always tell me that everything in life happens for a reason. I might not see it yet, but the reason is there.”
“Who taught you to be so smart?”
“Some old lady who claims to love me.”
She messes up my hair. “Hey, young lady.”
“Mom, I was talking about Grandma.”
“Get out of here, child, before I feed you to the fishes.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, you’re not in the mafia?”
“Tell Uncle Vito that.” She gives me a pointed look as I leave the room.
Making my way down to the atrium, for once I’m excited to do therapy. Not being able to dance the way I was trained has been getting into my head. Add in the anxiety from coming back here and, well, let’s just say I haven’t been the best patient.
I start with my stretches before walking over to the silks, running my hand down one. I have to admit, I’m learning to love the silks.
After doing my mandatory thirty-minute therapy session on my own, I grab my notebook and sit to do the second part of therapy.
Today is the first day since I have come home that it felt like home. The first time I was, no,amhappy to be home. My anxiety still gets to me, but I’m learning to cope with it better. Tinsley asked me to go out with her again and this time I said yes. I know that this may blow up in my face, but for once, I’m letting myself live in the present. Screw the past and screw the future. Today I just want to be happy.
Smiling, I shut the notebook. I think Ronda will be happy with today's development. While my physical therapy is important to rebuild the strength in my ankle, I’m also working with a therapist on my mental well-being. So, on top of my aerial silks therapy, I have to journal my feelings each day. Then, when she comes twice a week, we discuss it.
At first, I didn’t want to do it. I was so used to bottling all my feelings up inside. My third week in, I blew a gasket. I poured all my feelings out into the world, and when I was done? I felt better.
That’s when I started doing my therapy.
After icing my ankle and finishing up my journal entry, I take a quick shower. While I’m toweling off, I get a message.
Ready when you are.
I smile at Tinsley’s text. Maybe I can be friends with her. Maybe Keaton doesn’t have to ruin this one part of life for me.
???