Page 36 of Of Rime and Ruin
Lucas snuffs out a few candles on his desk, casting the room into shadow. “I’m afraid I have discovered nothing new since your last request, Your Majesty.”
“We’re missing something important,” I press. He pulls out a chair for me, and I sit. “Tell me what you remember of my mother’s condition. You treated her too, correct?”
He purses his lips, pondering for a moment. “If you’re like your mother, it happens when you submerge in water.”
“Cold water, yes.” I keep my tone level and stare straight ahead. Emotion has no place in this room; this is medical business.
“And you started noticing these changes as you transitioned into adulthood. Eighteen?”
“That’s right.”
“The same as your mother.” He leans against his desk, crossing his ankles. “And from my research, that’s where the curse entered the bloodline. There are no records of her ancestry before she married into the royal family.”
“Did she ever have… outbursts?”
Her face, pale as the morning snow, blooms with freezing blood.
I flinch as the memory resurfaces. No matter how hard I’ve tried to bury it, it’s always there. Stewing in the dredges of my mind. Waiting to suck me under. My hand curls into a fist, tightening around the rough fabric of my pants.
“She didn’t sever limbs, if that’s what you want to know,” Lucas says evenly.
Fuck.It’s the truth, and we both know it. I’m a monster. A cold-blooded killer. It doesn’t matter if I have no memory of it. I’m the one leaving the bodies on the beach.
I stare at my clenched hands, waiting for the inevitable shade of blue as my heart increases its rhythm. “Sometimes, it feels like the Beast is waiting inside me, waiting to break free. Sometimes, it seizes control, and I can’t—”
“It’s unusual that you should have an emotional connection to the Beast. Your mother only began the change when in contactwith water.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but it’s news to me.
My condition isunusual. Just my fucking luck.
I cross my arms and inhale, trying to get back to baseline. This was a chum-brained endeavor, and I should never have asked him about her.
“The curse is stronger for you, Sire. I knew that the moment you first transformed.” He watches me carefully, his gaze flicking over my body. He notes my fists in my lap, and he frowns.
A gash on her cheek, tugging the corner of her sad, knowing eye. She reaches for me through a cloud of bubbles. It’s the last I remember of her, before my world went dark.
A distant look falls over Lucas’s face as he wipes his hands on the corner of his shirt. “I’ve forgiven you, you know. For Cassandra.”
Scales rise along my scalp at the mention of that name. His sister. We haven’t spoken of her in years.
He cocks his head. “Have you forgotten her so soon?”
“No, I remember. May Audrina rest her scales.” I force the words around the lump in my throat. Cassandra was a healer, and like Lucas, she served the royal family. Until the day she stood too close.
I shudder.
The healer shrugs. “Audrina has given me compassion, Sire. Like I said, there are no hard feelings. I simply want to help you prevent futuremishapsfrom happening.”
“I am honored,” I choke.
Lucas hums. His magic spirals from the tip of his finger, casting golden light. He watches the tendril, a slow smile spreading. “Are you a murderer, Your Majesty? Hard to tell, isn’t it? That implies intention.”
The thread of magic convulses around his fingers. Twitches. Like a candle fighting the wind.
Cassandra. My mother. The siren on the beach…
I run through the faces of my victims as the guilt drags me down.
In the back of my head, another voice growls in disagreement.
