Page 53 of Bang Buddies With Benefits
Maybe not, but God, I wanted her there.
Perhaps this was all just karma, so I could see how it felt to give the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech I’d basically given to Julia. Only at one point Catalina had wanted a wedding and babies. She’d just wanted them with someone else.
She glanced at the door, seeking her escape route. I was the mess she’d made, similar to the dirty water in the kitchen, and now she was going to clean me up and move on with her life like it never happened.
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” I said, letting her off the hook. “You and I don’t do complications. That’s what was always great about us. Plus, the sex. Guess we should’ve just stuck to being a peach or an eggplant on each other’s screens.”
Hurt darted through her gaze, and she blinked faster and faster, as if she wasn’t the one who’d ended us. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not saying that I regret the extra time we spent together. I just—”
“Can’t do it anymore. I heard you, and I get it. I’ll even take full responsibility for getting caught up in all the fun and suggesting we take things further without thinking through everything it’d mean.” The lie sliced deep, jagged pieces that nicked my heart. Pain deluged my system, and I eyed the call button.
Even if I did summon a nurse, it wasn’t like they’d have anything to numb my emotional pain, and what sort of bullshit was that?
Especially since it hurt worse than any physical injury I’d ever had.
Bike wrecks and broken bones.
Jagged glass against my jaw.
Now all I could do was hope it healed the way those wounds had done. Still, if they offered me some morphine, I wouldn’t say no.
Clenching my jaw to withhold everything else I wanted to say but knew I’d later regret, I turned and fluffed my pillow. “Best of luck with your case, and with making partner. They’d be fools not to pick you.”
Face neutrally blank, I forced myself to turn and take one last look.
Tears still shone in her eyes, but they weren’t for me. If I’d had any idea I’d been competing with a ghost, I wouldn’t have gone near that, not with a ten-foot pole. Stubborn woman that she was, she likely believed she was going to remain single for the rest of her life, some solitary warrior for justice.
I had a feeling that when the right guy came around, she’d change her mind and get married. Throw big backyard parties with her family. Have kids. And still manage to be the badass shark in the courtroom that made grown men quake in their fancy loafers.
“Goodbye, Catalina Mendes, Attorney at Law.” The farewell snagged in my throat, requiring extra effort to shove out, but I covered it with a fake cough.
“Goodbye, Izaac Tomassi, owner of the Drunken Kraken. If you ever find yourself in any legal trouble…”
Really? That was how she was going to end things?
The monitor attached to my heart wasn’t as easy to conceal. It beeped louder and faster as she reached for the door handle.
And then she walked out of the stark white room that smelled of antiseptic, out of the hospital, and out of my life for good.
24
Catalina
Everything inside of me rebelled at the idea of getting out of my car, but I’d been putting this off for longer than I cared to admit.
At least I had some good news to share.
I’d also brought a bottle of Dos Hermanas whiskey, because whiskey.
Memories assaulted me right and left as I strolled up the sidewalk to the yellow stucco house with the maroon trim. The fountain in the front burbled noisily, evoking nights seated on the porch swing as Mateo and I stared up at the stars, wishing on them. Pretending we were well acquainted with all the constellations and getting interrupted by everyone in the neighborhood.
Even after we were engaged, the older generation asked if we were behaving ourselves. I’d always answer “no,” and then Mateo would laugh and assure them I was kidding.
But as the saying goes “Well behaved women seldom make history.”
Mateo and Zac were so different. Back then, I’d been the impulsive one. The person who dived in, consequences be damned. Mateo was more about slow and steady, and how could we know there was no time for that?
He was my first, and there’d been awkwardness. Learning together. Laughter and pleasure and comfort and heightened sensations and butterflies and bliss.
