Page 58 of Love's a Glitch
“By buying a house I can’t afford?”
“I told you that we’d help.”
“She’s fine with our arrangement, Mom. That’s the main reason I’m willing to give the relationship thing a shot with her. She’s different from the other women I’ve dated, and way different from the women you know.”
“Pfft.We all want security, dear.”
Security? That’s not what it seemed like when Jennifer and I had our giant blow-up. It’d involved more than security. It’d involved luxury, and buying a big house fell not just into that territory, but smack dab in the middle.
“We’ll have to talk about it later,” I said, deploying a delay tactic for my sanity as much as Mom’s. I couldn’t do this right now. On top of the yacht club party, and everything else, I had to give an answer about whether or not the magazine should offer it to another photographer before midnight tonight.
Did I talk to Ellie about it?
Leading her to believe I had a say in the jobs I took seemed like a bad idea—and giving away too much of the control I needed. But I didn’t want her to think I didn’t value her opinion or that I wouldn’t at least consider it when taking jobs.
If only we’d started dating sooner, or if we had a couple more weeks to spend together, perhaps our relationship would have the firmer, stronger foundation it’d need to withstand the time apart.
Then again, if I told Ellie about how this was my dream job, and she requested I stay, no amount of foundation would ever be enough.
“Do you have your speech prepared?” Mom asked, as though she were determined to give me a heart attack before the party. Maybe she’d be doing me a favor. Then I wouldn’t have to make the speech and I could stick around and have Ellie around to nurse me back to health.
A grumble came out and Mom frowned. With my gorgeous girlfriend in mind, I blew out my frustrations along with my exhale and placed my hand on my mom’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for being so sharp. I’m a little stressed about my speech and have other work stuff on my mind. I appreciate that you worry about me, and it means a lot that you’re so willing to accept Ellie and help her out.”
Mom sniffed and nodded. “You always tell us about how much you changed, but did you ever think that we’ve changed too?”
Honestly, no, and that was a pretty jerk move. “I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed. All those charities you work with are very impressive. I’m proud of all you’ve been able to accomplish since turning your attention to them.”
Her eyes went shiny, and so much for saving time. I couldn’t say “peace out” now, not when my mom was on the verge of tears. “If Dad and I could rewind time and do a better job of being more present and attending your sporting events and your art shows, we would. It took a lot of hard work in those early years, but we’re both trying to slow down and enjoy life, which is why we’ve shifted our focus to spending time with family. Having grandkids and seeing our children happy is what feeds our soul, just like Eloise talked about with your photography.”
In such a short time, Ellie had touched every part of my life. The thought of having to say goodbye caused my chest to deflate, but Mom’s meddling and hounding caused a different pressure and left me second-guessing my decision to jump into a relationship in the first place.
Even though Ellie was nothing like Jennifer, I kept thinking about how I’d brought Jennifer home for Thanksgiving, and how she’d taken one look at my parents’ mansion, realized I came from money, and was never content with the simple life she’d claimed to enjoy as much as I did again.
But Ellie had seen the house, and she didn’t seem to care. In fact, she’d stood up to my mom and convinced her to let me do what fed my soul, whereas Jennifer had pushed for me to take up my parents on the job offer so we could buy a house and lay down roots.
The lid on the frustration teapot inside of me rocked with the pressure. These sorts of complications were why I’d chosen to avoid any entanglements for the past few years. No matter how easy or casual the relationship started, get too far in and it managed to impact every decision a person made.
With an event that involved a high risk of injury for racer and photographer alike, I needed to get my mind straight, and quick.
And why wouldn’t I take the job? It should be the easiest “yes” in my life. If it would be a short assignment, where I covered the race and headed back home, I’d snatch up the opportunity in an instant. Traveling to the Middle East involved extra complications, though, and since the magazine was covering airfare to and from, they’d also lined up jobs from Oman to Yemen, Ethiopia, and Tanzania. As an added perk, they threw in a trip to Madagascar, and I’d been longing to return there and see what remained the same and what’d changed.
The downside was that it meant being in a country where Ellie wasn’t for the next two and a half months. I’d hoped to start with shorter stretches of time, knowing that the longer we were separated, the more difficult our relationship and connection would be to maintain.
But she understands my restless soul better than anyone ever has before, and she’s willing to go along with it. That’s what matters.
Although now I was rethinking my decision to invite her to the yacht club party. Technically, my mom had done the official inviting, and how had I let myself became so blasé over pulling her into a world I’d worked so hard to break free from? Champagne and caviar, summers on boats, and dresses and pieces of jewelry that cost more than her car.
As hard as I tried to tell myself that Ellie wasn’t Jennifer—and I stood by that—I couldn’t help worrying that she’d get a deeper glimpse of the lifestyle we could have and realize she wanted more.
29
Ellie
When I’d asked Luke what I should wear to the party, he’d told me whatever I wanted, adding that I looked great in anything.
Super sweet, but not very helpful. I’d assumed business casual at the bare minimum, but of all the random factoids crammed in my brain, I’d somehow failed to include luxurious yachting party etiquette. For me and my income bracket, it’d be sort of like planning for the Queen of England to invite me over for tea.
Luke had remarked more than once that they were a judgmental bunch, and while he’d also expressed not caring what they thought, me and my anxiety weren’t quite there. What if I wore a dress and heels and arrived to find other women in short white skirts and cardigans draped over their polos?
