Page 62 of Love's a Glitch
Mom was nearby with her gaggle of friends, and I hoped they hadn’t talked Ellie’s ear off, although the conversation likely ran in the same vein as the men. In spite of me being unable to be at her side for the entire party, my beautiful girlfriend had come to support me.
Forget the sleeping bag;shewas what I wanted to fall into at the end of the day.
I couldn’t wait another second to get my arms around her, so I excused myself and strode over to her, then tension along my shoulders loosening at the sight of her.
I wished talking about the job could wait, but with the deadline growing steadily closer, it wasn’t an option. How could I take the job and leave her behind? How could I not?
“Hey, gorgeous,” I said as I approached. She attempted a smile, but it fell so short on the genuine-Ellie-scale that I immediately sensed something was wrong. “What happened? Did someone treat you poorly? Make you feel like you didn’t belong?”
A long curl had come loose from her bun, and she swept it behind her ear. “No, nothing like that. I just… Luke, I’ve been thinking about it all night, and I’m afraid I need more.”
“More?”
Her chin quivered, and a strong sense of foreboding pricked my skin. “More.”
“You’re going to need to give me more information, babe. I’m lost.”
“That’s exactly why I’m afraid to say it. I don’t want to lose this. Don’t want to lose us.”
I twisted the chair next to her, so that the seat faced her instead of the table, and settled myself into it, forearms on knees, and locked my eyes onto hers.
“I don’t think I can do one step at a time,” she said, and my stomach dropped. “I started thinking about my goals, and where I’m at in my life, and when it comes down to it, time is a precious commodity that you can’t get back.” She scooted forward on her chair and placed her hand on my arm. “What if I said that in order to wait for you while you’re off living your dreams, I need the assurance that eventually, you’ll be open to our relationship going somewhere serious?”
“Somewhere serious,” I repeated.
“At least a firmer commitment than ‘maybe.’ I’m not asking for a house or a family now…”
I tugged at my neckline, finding the buttons undone, but where was all the damn air?
“But I do want those things. I want to start my own business and get married one day and buy a house that has room for a kid or two. I’m perfectly fine with you following your dreams—I want that for you. But what about my dreams? Am I supposed to just wait around and hope, when you’re not willing to give at all on your stance? And for how long? A couple of months? A year?”
My breaths quickened, and I told the dread coating the back of my throat to hold on a minute, but all of this hit way too close to what my mother said earlier. I’d been so sure that Ellie understood me; that she was different from Jennifer and the other women who’d demanded more. “I am giving. Before I met you, I wasn’t willing to attempt a relationship. Now I am.”
“A relationship? I’m not sure you even know what it means to be in one. It involves a lot of give and take, not me giving up seventy percent of what I want while you commit to the bare minimum. I’m looking for a partner, not to spend my nights waiting by the phone for you to call, only to find out I wasted months of my time and you’ve moved on without even bothering to tell me.”
The bare minimum? Waste of time? “What the fuck, Ellie?” I said, loud enough to garner a couple of stares. “I made my stance very clear. You’re the one who’s suddenly changing the rules and asking for more before we’ve even begun. What? Did you look around this fancy party and realize that this is the lifestyle you wanted, and that I could make that happen for you?”
Her breath came out in a harsh exhale, her chest caving slightly. “It has nothing to do with the party. And if that’s what you think of me, you don’t know me at all.”
“It’s pretty clear that I don’t. I was willing to give, but it’s never going to be enough, is it?”
“I’m willing to give on a lot of points, I swear I am. If I’m going to do that, though, I just need the assurance that you at least fee—”
“In the end, you’re the same as all the others,” I spat, too mad to let her finish. “You put on a better act, I’ll give you that. You had me going right up till the end. This is exactly why I leave home to spend time with genuine people who care about more than money and social status.” I shook my head, letting my disappointment and disgust show. “I can’t believe I almost gave up my dream job to stay a little longer, all so you could sink your hooks into me that much deeper.”
Her mouth dropped, hurt blanching her features, and why did my heart knot like that?Shewas the one who changed the rules last minute, not me.Iwas the one who should be hurt.
“Sink my hooks into you? Do you hear yourself? This is called open communication—not manipulation. I’m trying my best to be honest here. You yourself made me promise not to settle. So which is it? Settle? Or be strong enough to push for what I want? What Ineed?”
“Oh, you can push.” A mirthless laugh I hardly recognized as mine punctuated the air between us. “You just can’t make me bend.”
Tears filled her eyes, and I fought to keep my arm at my side, annoyed that she was the one tearing us apart and that I still wanted to console her. “There’s the asshole I was emailing this past six weeks. No listening, no bending. Nothing matters but what Charles L. Davis wants.”
“And there’s the demanding woman who thinks she knows what’s best without bothering to listen to the other person.”
“Luke, dear.” Mom charged over, forcing her smile to remain in place as if everyone here didn’t already realize Ellie and I were in a fight. “People are starting to stare.”
“Let ‘em. I’ve never given a damn what they think, and I never wanted to be here in the first place. I finally escaped this world, but you all dragged me back in with your guilt trips. I don’t want a job with the company, and I don’t want to buy a house, settle down, and miss out on my real life—a life I was very happy with before I came here and got tangled up in this.” I tossed out my arm, roughly gesturing to Ellie and the ridiculous decorations and over-the-top party.
