Page 75 of The Mistletoe Trap
Still, he had to be honest—it wouldn’t do either of them any good to provide false hope. “Well, I didn’t, and I’m not gonna. I meant what I said. I just can’t. Not right now.”
More tears spilled down her cheeks, and he felt so damn helpless, he was certain his muscles had been rendered useless. Finally he forced one heavy arm to move, choosing his right, since he deserved the twinge in his shoulder. He wiped at her tears with his thumb and whispered her name like a prayer.
“Please don’t, Gavin. It’s only making it worse.” She pulled away from him, her face crumpling. With that, she turned on her heel and charged out the front door.
The slam reverberated through the room.
Then there was no noise at all.
He swung his attention to the archway leading into the dining room—for what, he wasn’t sure, as he’d just told his entire family he didn’t want their help or interference.
There they sat, heaping plates of food in front of them, several mouths hanging open in shock and disappointment.
Glaring at him like the jerk he’d ended up being.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Fun fact: tears don’t freeze to your face at twenty-two degrees, even if you cry a whole river of them.
Thanks, saltwater and skin that stayed warm enough to keep the stream flowing and flowing. Despite not freezing, they certainly didn’t make a person any warmer.
Julie would know.
Just like she now realized that storming out of the house in a dramatic fashion without a coat wasn’t the wisest decision she’d ever made. In some ways, the slap of cold and stream of saltwater justified her devastated mood.
Perhaps all the trees felt the same, their branches stark and bare. Did they miss the leaves each and every time they fell? In the spring, new leaves would form, and life would go on. Birds would return to chirp away, and grass and flowers would cover the ground the goddamn snow currently blanketed.
In theory, the same applied to Julie when it came to healing and changing and going through that whole renewal thing. But with her rib cage caving in on her lungs and grinding her already crushed heart into mush, it certainly didn’t feel that way.
Admittedly, she’d been irritated by all the wedding talk, too.
But damn, did it hurt to hear the phraselapse in judgment. The comment about pushing them into something neither of them wanted—leaving it agonizingly clear it wasn’t whatGavinwanted—was the follow-up gut punch that took her breath away.
It’s never,evergonna happen.Nothing proved he’d meant it like being unwilling to discuss options or the mere possibility.
Pain spread so fast and far, it felt as though Julie were made up of it entirely. No more oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. Just agony and grief and overwhelming loss.
How does it hurt this bad after one night together? How?
Because you love him,a voice whispered in the back of her mind.Because you always have, and this week…
Even her brain didn’t dare mention it, her defense mechanism refusing to finish the rest.
Julie’s footsteps stuttered, the drag of her shoes in the snow insufferable, and for once, not due to the numbing effects it had on her toes.
Oh no.As dawning spread, those first rays of light illuminated a truth she immediately wished it hadn’t. Perhaps if she prostrated herself on the ground she could soak in enough of the fluffy white frozen stuff that she could numb her entire body and not have to…
Usually she was a huge fan of discovery, but this one nearly took her to her knees. “I’minlovewith him.”
Damn her curious nature. And damn her emotions and sensitive feelings and everything that’d caused her to fall in love with her best friend so quickly. She clutched at the spot over her aching heart. Not that it did any good. After how badly Brad hurt her, she’d attempted to put a better wall around her heart, but it crumbled now, gushing out affection, adoration, passion, and desire.
All for Gavin.
A guy who’d been willing to move to another state with Kristin and rent a place together, even though they’d fought the majority of their last year of college. At the end of his first NFL season, Julie had visited them and seen the growing rift. When she brought it up to Gavin, he’d replied that he wasn’t the type to give up on a good thing just because it was hard.
After all of one conversation and a flirting session with that reporter who didn’t live in Texas, he’d considered datingher, mostly deciding against it on account of her job.
Time to face facts. While Gavin insisted she wasn’t boring and seemed to have enjoyed the sex as much as Julie had, if there wasn’t something missing—if he’d felt an inkling of what she had—he’d fight for it.
