Page 127 of Just One of the Groomsmen
“You managed just fine for a couple of years. I’m sure you’ll get used to it again.” Yeah, it was below the belt, but she’d also been telling it to herself for days, and what good had holding back done before?
Tucker stepped closer and curled his hands around her shoulders. “I never got used to it, and don’t act like things are different now than before I left for Birmingham. Addes, I messed up. I miss you so much I can hardly think straight, and then I look at you, and…”
His gaze drifted down, and she wanted to believe the gleam in his eyes would last, but she was done with letting her delusions get the best of her.
“Let’s face it, Tucker. If holding your puppy hadn’t caused me to flash you, and if I wasn’t wearing sexy underwear that my sister had to talk me into buyin’, this never woulda happened.”
Sometimes she wished it hadn’t. But the thought of losing those amazing kisses and those heated nights between the sheets, nothing and everything between them, hurt too.
“You never woulda decided you wanted me like that.”
Tucker adamantly shook his head. “That’s not true. If we want to get technical, it was seeing your legs in that very dress, sticking out from underneath the hood of that car. That was the moment I thought,That’s my type of girl right there.”
“So I put on a dress and what?” She shrugged as if her words didn’t weigh a thousand pounds. “You suddenly want me again? Or maybe it’s because I seem like a challenge, like back when the dentist was interested and you wanted to see if you could win.”
The line of his jaw tightened, and his fingers dug into her shoulders. “It’s because I’m a selfish bastard even though I’m trying not to be.”
“After tomorrow, I’ll go back to plain old Addie, and I don’t want you to pretend to want more, just like I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.”
“That’s what you think of me?” His voice bled misery, and it seeped into her and joined the surplus she already had.
“I think that if we keep goin’ down this road, it’ll be impossible to repair our friendship, and I wanna get over this so we can get back to how things used to be, if that’s even possible anymore. I do know that it’s gonna take some time and space.”
“I guess it’s a good thing that you’re moving away, then. You’ll get all kinds of space.”
“Hey, you were the one who pushed me as far away as you could. Don’t act like you care about me leaving town now.”
“I nevernotcared. Things started moving so quickly, and then they were spiraling out of control, and it got all messed up along the way.” He raked a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated growl. “Can’t we just—”
“I hate to break this up,” Shep said as he hesitantly encroached the bubble they’d formed, “specially since I can’t tell if it’s going good or bad. But everyone’s staring and speculating, and we need to begin the rehearsal.”
Tucker loosened his grip on her and trailed his hand down her arm, and the cascade of tingles that followed, even after such a gut-wrenching conversation, were so not fair. “I’ll talk to you during the waltz.”
Addie’s throat tightened, and she had to force out words that didn’t seem to want to come. “I’m doing the waltz with Ford now—Lexi’s the one who suggested it, actually. No drama during the wedding, remember? Which is why he’s also pairing up with me on the walk down the aisle.”
She blinked away the threatening tears and then forced her feet into motion, not stopping until she reached her new waltzing partner.
And when Ford punched her shoulder instead of asking how she was, she nearly hugged him, totally defeating the point.
…
A buzzing numbness overtook Tucker’s body as he watched Addie walk to Ford. He’d had a speech prepared, but the second her mask slipped and he could see the raw pain in her features, he knew it wasn’t enough.
“Sorry, man,” Shep said. “I don’t have to tell you that the girl holds a grudge—I’m still not allowed to eat food in her truck. The end comes out of a burritoone time ten years agoand the trust is gone, just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “And that was just a burrito.”
Tucker swallowed and worked to keep his voice even. “Big help with the pep talks as ever, Shep.”
“Well, what did you expect? To say, ‘Hey sorry, dude,’ and she’d punch you in the shoulder and say, ‘It’s all good’?”
“Not gonna lie. That’d be pretty awesome.”
“Too bad. Once line-crossing happens, that option’s over. That’s why you respect the line.”
“It wasn’t as simple as that. Like I said, I tried. Sometimes there are stronger forces than lines.”
Tucker expelled a breath, and a different type of exhaustion settled deep into his bones.
“I’m so miserable without her. It’s all I can think about—all I’ve thought about for nearly two weeks. But being this close to her and still having so much distance between us? It’s the worst kind of torture.”
