Page 26 of Just One of the Groomsmen
“Y’all know I’m not a judge, right?” Tucker asked, not sure why they’d brought their feud to him.
“I want to sue her pig for damages lost,” Nellie Mae said. “I’ve kept records of it—pictures and dates—so I know I have a strong case.”
The image of a pig sitting on the witness stand popped into his head and then a snort-laugh escaped.
That sent Addie laughing, and then they were both getting the type of glares they used to get when running down the sidewalks of town too fast. And only a few of those times had been because they were fleeing the scene of a crime.
Okay, maybe more than a few.
Faye crossed her arms and glared at him, and he clamped his lips. “And I wanna restrainin’ order that keeps Nellie Mae from comin’ within a hundred yards of my house.”
“My house is within a hundred yards of her house.”
Well, he’d decided he was sick of wading through evidence of people’s guilt and trying to find loopholes to get them off anyway, and this was definitely a change from the norm.
Small-town life might be less quiet than he’d remembered, but he could honestly say that one day was never quite like the next.
Not that he planned on getting involved. Not in the legal drama or any other form of drama.
“Ladies,” he started, “haven’t you heard the rumors ’bout me gettin’ fired from my law firm?”
“We’ll have to make do with you anyway, seeing’s how we don’t exactly have a surplus of good lawyers round here,” Nellie Mae responded, sending Addie into another fit of giggles that earned her an admonishing glare. “And I realize that suing the pig is probably a far stretch, but Faye and I’ve been neighbors goin’ on forty years, and until this hog came along, we used to live in harmony. But if he keeps on eatingmyfood, I should get to eathim.”
Faye gasped, then dropped down to cover the pig’s ears.
“Well, that escalated quickly,” Addie mumbled.
He widened his eyes at her—he needed to de-escalate the situation, not laugh and make it worse. She gave him a what-can-you-do shrug.
He did his best to telepathically plead for help, and Addie finally stepped up next to him and flashed the women a big smile. “Now, ladies, I know you guys care about each other—”
“Guys?Not all of us like to be called guys, missy.”
Addie’s smile turned plastic and a smidge forced. “Oh, yeah? Not all of us like—”
“I think what Addie’s saying,” he loudly cut in, “is that we’d both hate to see your friendship ruined over something like this. I’m not currently taking cases, and—”
“Lucia told us that she has you on retainer, and in fact, she’s the one who told us if we needed any legal help, we should find you. Which reminds me, here’s your retainer.” Nellie Mae extended two crumpled bills. “She said you were much better than those other two schmucks we have.”
Faye quickly pulled out two dollar bills, batted away Nellie Mae’s hand, and waved her money at Tucker. “No, take mine. I have a much stronger case.”
Of courseAddie’s grandmother had gone and told them he’d help with their legal issues, although the compliment about being better than the others was nice, he supposed.
Addie gave another one of those absolving shrugs.
“The business I’m conducting for Lucia Murphy isn’t anything that would require going to court.”
“You mean you sure hope it doesn’t lead to that,” Addie muttered and then zipped her lips when he darted a glare at her.
He returned his attention to the fired-up women, who were still shoving each other’s arms down in an attempt to get him to take their money first. “How about we call in Deputy Reeves and see if among all of us, we can’t come up with a good solution?”
They grumbled about it but reluctantly agreed, and he made them go sit on park benches on opposite sides of the town square.
Tucker took off his hat, ran a hand through his hair, and then settled it back on his head. “Somehow when I was daydreaming about moving back to my calm, carefree town, where everyone knew everyone, I repressed these type of ridiculous situations and how often they happen.”
Addie clapped him on the back. “Welcome back to Uncertainty, Tucker Crawford. Where the only certainty is that some inane thing will get blown out of proportion and send people into a tizzy. But hey, at least we go the unique route. How many pig cases did you solve in Birmingham?”
“You’d be surprised.”
