Page 66 of Cinderella Screwed Me Over
Oh, shit, I’m in over my head.Panic squeezed my lungs, stealing my breath. I’d been here before too many times, and the last couple of relationships had nearly crushed me. They’d messed with my job, my sense of self—everything.I have to do something before it’s too late. I can’t do this to myself again. Iwon’tdo this again.I took a step back, and the space between us felt wrong and torturous—another sure sign that this was getting too serious.
Jake’s eyebrows drew together, the confusion on his features clear.
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I like spending time with you, Jake. You’ve been really great, and I’m afraid I’m starting to give you the wrong impression. I’m not going to change my mind about doing the relationship thing.” Looking at him was painful, so I dropped my gaze, focusing on the refracted light bouncing off the wall. “I think we should stop spending so much time together before someone ends up getting hurt.”
I jumped when a hand came down on my shoulder.
“How are you two doing?” It was Barbara. After all the hours I’d spent listening to her talk, her voice was ingrained in my head. “Several of my friends are talking about working with you and Nadine.” Barbara glanced at Jake, her lips curving up. “And I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, young man. I’m sure there will be several business opportunities coming your way soon.”
“That’s good to hear,” Jake said. I could tell he had to work at a smile. Knowing there was pain buried in it—and that it was my fault—sent a pang through my chest. “But honestly, I’m very happy with my job. And Darby’s made it clear she doesn’t need or want anyone to take care of her.”
The ache in my chest deepened, and tears pricked my eyes. I quickly blinked them away.Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
Barbara dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand. “That’s what women always say. Secretly they love a man to come in and sweep them off their feet.”
“I prefer to have my feet on the ground, actually,” I said. “That way you always remember how to walk on your own.”
“Darling, you’ll miss out if you don’t allow yourself to be swept away now and then.” Barbara patted Jake’s arm. “I can tell this guy cares about you. He held up very well under my scrutiny.” She glanced around. “I better go attend to some of my other guests, but you two have a wonderful evening.”
Not wanting to deal with the weirdness I was sure Jake and I were about to have, I watched her walk away. Finally, I looked at him. “I can get Nadine to give me a ride home.”
Jake ran a hand through his hair. “A few minutes ago we were fine, and suddenly you can’t even stand me for the rest of the night?”
“I’m just saying if you want to leave, you can. I’d understand.”
“Do you want me to go?”
I shook my head. “Like I said, I have fun with you. I’m only trying to be honest.”Only trying to keep my heart in one piece so it won’t get ripped apart again.
Over the next hour, Jake stuck by my side, almost as if nothing happened, but the smiles and casual touches were gone. We heard stories about grandkids, all about what companies to invest in, and heated discussions on the state the country was in.
When we got back to our building, I punched the elevator button for my floor. The ride took an eternity, and it felt like the walls were closing in on me. Everything was awkward and strained, the ease of the past few weeks with Jake effectively destroyed.
The doors opened and Jake started to step off the elevator with me.
“You don’t have to walk me to my door,” I said.
Jake put his hand on my back, guiding me down the hall anyway. Part of me wondered if he’d heard me at all tonight. Did he get that everything needed to change? That if I didn’t draw a line, we’d both regret it later?
The walk down the hall took three times as long as it usually did. Finally, miracle of all miracles, we reached my door. Knowing looking at Jake was dangerous, I focused on my hands, twisting the bracelet on my wrist. “Thanks again for coming with me tonight. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
Jake exhaled, and I could hear the frustration in it. “Is that your way of telling me not to call you?”
I continued spinning the bracelet, round and round. “No. But I’m going to be busy with this job, and I should be helping Steph with the wedding planning more.”
Jake put his hand on my wrist, making it impossible to keep spinning my bracelet. “So if I asked you to hang out with me on Sunday morning?”
Slipping would be so easy, and I couldn’t let myself do it. I kept my eyes glued to his long fingers wrapped around my wrist. “I’d say it’s not a good idea.”
Jake put his other hand under my chin, gently tipping it up until I had no choice but to look at him. He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “I’ll see you around, Darby.”
I watched him walk away. Waiting around until I found his fatal flaw was taking too long, and I just couldn’t afford to get more attached. Already, I’d been relying on him too much. I couldn’t deal with everything going down at workanda relationship that was getting too serious. When the relationship failed, I’d still need my job. It’s what got me through every time my heart had been broken, and I couldn’t screw it up.
I felt each one of the threads that had started to form between us snap, a dozen pricks of pain in my heart. They stung, but at least I knew I could survive them.
Good-bye, Jake.
Next time I decided to have a semi-long-term relationship, I was going to go for someone who wasn’t so hard to resist.
