Page 47 of Cinderella Screwed Me Over
“I wouldn’t suggest making it a habit. Girls aren’t as crazy about it as you’d think.”
“Darby, do you mind riding home with Karl?” Anthony asked. “I’d like to go with my lovely fiancée. And Finn lives pretty close to us.”
Stephanie gave me that what-can-you-do look.
It’s not like I had a choice. “Sure.” I held my hand out to Karl. “Give me your keys. I think I better drive.”
…
By the time we got to my place, Karl’s eye was nice and puffy. “How far away do you live?”
“It’s about another forty minutes north.”
“I think you should come up and ice your eye. See if you can get the swelling down before driving home.” I pulled the keys out of the ignition. “Besides, I feel like I owe you. I still think I would’ve won our game of pool”—I flashed him a smile to let him know I was joking around—“but you didn’t get to eat, and I’m sure you’re hungry.”
I headed through the lobby of the building with Karl. I decided to stop at the vending machine and grab a couple of sodas. I needed some caffeine. “What do you want?”
“I’ll take a Pepsi,” Karl said.
I bought a Pepsi for him and a Mountain Dew for myself, then we got on the elevator. I held my cold can of Mountain Dew on Karl’s eye. “Here, this should help.” Metal and cold worked wonders on swelling.
The doors of the elevator opened back up and Jake stepped inside. Of course.
“Don’t worry,” I said as the elevator lifted. “I didn’t punch him that hard.”
Karl laughed. “After everything you put me through tonight, at least let me keep my dignity.”
“But if you don’t have any dignity, how can I let you keep it?”
“I thought we were at peace now.”
“Sorry. It might take me a few days to switch gears to being nice to you.” The elevator stopped, opening up on my floor. “This is me.”
Karl walked into the hall. I stuck my hand over the elevator door so it wouldn’t shut, then twisted back to Jake. “Long story. The short version is it’s not as bad as it looks.”
“You have my number,” Jake said. “And you know where I live.”
I smiled at him. “IthinkI remember.” I let go of the door and blew Jake a kiss good-bye as my view of him narrowed.
As soon as Karl and I got to my apartment, I pointed him to the couch. “Have a seat and I’ll get you some ice. The can probably isn’t cold enough anymore.” I headed to the fridge and dug out a bag of frozen peas, then walked over to the couch and handed it to him. “Peas do a good job because they conform.”
“You have lots of experience in this kind of thing?”
“Too much. Combination of breaking in a horse and having a boyfriend who liked to get into fights.”
Karl sat there, holding the bag of peas on his face. “Who could’ve seen this coming after our disastrous date? You’re actually pretty nice when you want to be.”
“Don’t tell anyone. I’ve got to keep up my reputation.”
Karl smiled, then winced. “I know it wouldn’t have solved anything, but I kind of wish I would’ve at least taken a swing at the guy.”
“Then you’d just have cut-up knuckles to go with your busted eye.” I leaned back on my couch. “I would’ve really liked to see that guy go down, though. Freakin’ jackhole.”
Twenty minutes later, the swelling had lessened, the ibuprofen had kicked in, and we’d filled up on grilled-cheese sandwiches. Karl decided he was good to drive home, so we said our good-byes and I sent him on his way.
What a night.
I picked up the bag of soggy peas.Now this brings back some memories…
