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I kicked at the dandelion sticking up in the grass, sending the yellow flower bobbing. “About what I said earlier, I was out of line.” I lifted my eyes to Devin’s. “I’m sorry.”

Devin shrugged. “No big deal. Guess I was a little harsh, too.”

“You know I love you and Anne. And the kids.”

Devin glanced at his wife, who was now a dark outline against the setting sun. “I know you’ve seen us at our worst, but it’s not always like that. Anne has a hard time with the baby stage. We fight more. Then we work it out because that’s what you do. Every day I wake up and see my beautiful family, I think I’m one of the luckiest people in the world.”

Devin didn’t do the big talks or show his emotions often. Not with me, anyway. I could tell he meant what he’d said. My heart dropped when I thought about all the times I’d made derogatory comments about his marriage.

“Daddy, I need another push,” Levi said.

“I’m sure you’ll figure out what’ll make you happy,” Devin said. “Just don’t be scared to go for it when you do.” He mussed my hair like he used to when we were growing up, then strode over to Levi and got him swinging high through the air again.

Sometimes, you just need a little push.

Chapter Twenty-nine

The new layout of the extended-stay suites lit up my computer screen. My eyes were trained on it, but my mind was elsewhere. On the drive home from Longmont, Jake had finally convinced me to let him run the numbers on branching off on my own. I’d sent him all the information I had first thing this morning like I promised I would. But it wasn’t just the future of my career crowding my thoughts. It was Jake. Taking him home had been a chance. One I thought he’d fail. Instead, he’d gone above and beyond my expectations, winning my whole family over. Including me.

He gave me hope when I thought there was none. He’d stuck with me regardless of all the times I’d tried to push him away. I wanted to call him, even if I didn’t have anything in particular to talk about. I wanted to take him to Stephanie’s wedding. To tell people he was my boyfriend.

I wanted him to be mine.

Of course, there was only one way to make that happen…Time to take a chance.

I knew he’d worked the early shift today, which meant he’d probably be home. The thought of having a serious talk of any kind made me nauseous, but I was going to do it anyway.

The entire drive home, my stomach churned. Knowing I’d chicken out if I didn’t go straight to his place, I rode the elevator to the top floor. My rapid pulse hammered in my ears as I raised my fist to knock.

When Jake opened the door, his hair was disheveled, the top few buttons of his shirt undone. A volatile mix of desire and anxiety shot through me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to jump him or throw up on him. Hopefully not both, because this conversation was going to be hard enough as it was.

“Um, am I interrupting something?” I asked.

“I’m just going through some reports for Blue, trying to figure out a few things. Would you like to come in?”

I stood there for a few seconds, trying to kick my pink, glittery pumps into motion—they seemed to be glued to the floor. “Sure,” I said, wishing this wasn’t so damn hard. I’d never been one to wish I was normal, but in this moment, I wanted to be at least functional. Not shaking like a leaf because I wanted to ask a guy to be my boyfriend.

Jake seemed slightly distracted and also looked like he’d had a long day—still hot, of course, but in a crumpled, tired way. “I was about to grab a drink. You want one?”

“I’ll just take water.”What am I saying? I need something to calm my nerves.“Or whatever you’re having. Anything’s fine.”

I sat down on the couch while he went to the kitchen, and I took a deep breath. Even when I was in relationships, I rarely did the big-talk thing. I usually waited until things were out of control before saying anything, and by then, it was too late anyway.

I can do this, I can do this.

“I’ll warn you that I might not be the best company tonight,” Jake said as he walked toward the couch, two glasses in his hands. “Rough day at work, and now I’m trying to figure out this new business deal. I’ve got a guy who’s supposed to call. You’ll probably be bored.”

“If I get too bored, I’ll just find a baseball game on TV and take a nap,” I teased.

At least that got a smile out of him. He handed me a glass—I took a large sip, disappointed when it was only water. Another sign that I was going crazy. I basically asked for water, he gave it to me, and here I was disappointed. When I went to set the glass on the coffee table, I noticed the papers spread across it. “What’s all this?”

“I’m trying to figure out if we should open a restaurant in Salt Lake. Vegas has been doing really well, and there’s this great space in downtown Salt Lake that has good potential.”

My heart dropped as I realized another deal meant he’d be gone again. “How long did the Vegas location take?”

“It was built from the ground up, so longer than normal. Supposed to take six months, but ended up taking eight to get it running well enough I could trust it to the management there.”

I did my best to sound calm and collected about this new information. “How long would the one in Salt Lake take?”