Page 85 of Until We're More
“Like I said before, I want to leave you something, not burden you with it.”
For a second or two, I let that soak in, but honestly it still felt like the ground was spinning out from under me. “I was trying to do the right thing. It just feels so fucking wrong every day that I’m not with her.”
“The right thing isn’t always cut and dry, son, and it’s not the same for everyone. I’m not close to kicking the bucket just yet.” He nudged me. “Finn and I can run things here while you take care of your girl, and if we need help, we’ve got a gym full of fighters to choose from. Don’t get me wrong, we’ll miss the hell out of you if you leave, and filling your spot won’t be easy, but this past year I’ve learned a lot about what’s important. If I had to do it over again, I’d prioritize differently. Belts are shiny, and there’s nothing like that moment when you’re declared the winner in the cage, but love…” A bittersweet smile spread across his face. “That’s something different altogether, and it lasts a whole lot longer than a few minutes.”
I nodded, hope calling to me for the first time since Chelsea walked out of my apartment all those nights ago. “She was really angry and hurt when she left. I’m not sure she’ll take me back.”
“Well, I’ve never known you to declare defeat before you’ve given it your all.” He clapped my back like I was about to head into the cage, and I let the same determination that fueled me in a fight rush through me.
“You’re right,” I said, pushing to my feet. “And I’m not about to start now.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chelsea
By the time I made it to my bedroom, I was completely exhausted, not to mention emotionally wrung out from saying goodbye to everyone at the San Diego branch, and I just wanted some cuddle time with the only guy who’d never let me down.
“George?”
He wasn’t on the bed in his usual spot, where he napped ten out of twelve hours a day. I crouched down and searched underneath the bed but didn’t see him there, either.
“I know you hate being trapped in this room all day, but you won’t have to deal with that soon, and if you come out, I’ll give you lots of attention and an extra treat.” The trapped sensation wasn’t foreign to me. Using my newly acquired assertive skills, I’d set up boundaries with my mom for my own emotional well-being, but I was also staying at her house, which meant I’d cleaned and done laundry. I couldn’t wait to get back to having space of my own. Preferably space that didn’t have boxes of craft supplies and jewelry that Mom wasn’t sure if she really wanted to sell anymore because it wasn’t as lucrative as she’d thought it’d be.
Not a surprise, but I’d set up some boundaries for myself, too. I couldn’t stop her from falling for pyramid schemes, but I didn’t have to make her feel bad about them, either. So she was on the search for her next get-rich fix—that I told her she’d have to fund herself and made it clear I actually meant it, which I did—and I was focusing on my next step in maintaining-a-steady-income and finding that oft-sought-after inner happiness.
I went to set my keys on my nightstand, and the note taped to my reading lamp caught my eye.
Chelsea,
I collected George for a family meeting next door.
Your attendance is required.
Liam
My heart swelled and clenched and basically didn’t know what to do with itself. What the hell did he mean by family meeting? Like, did his family need to talk to me about something and they figured the only way I’d come was if he took George?
The amount of longing that rushed through me at the thought of seeing Liam so wasn’t fair. I was kind of, sort of doing better, and having to face him would mess with my progress and make me question everything all over again.
Okay, that was a lie. I wasn’t doing better. I still missed Liam in a way that consumed me, which was why I didn’t think I could stroll on over and listen to whatever he said without crying. Without having a complete breakdown and begging him to want me.
Screw that. I’m not begging him for anything.Since the anger felt much better than the weak sensation fighting for control, I gripped tight to it and let it fuel me. I yanked the note off the lamp and read it again.You can do this. Maybe it’ll be good closure.
Sure. Let’s stick with delusional, since he already accused me of being that anyway.
The walk next door was painfully familiar, a journey I’d made countless times. Of all the things that sucked, the one that sucked the most was how much I needed to talk to my best friend.
Only since he was also the guy who’d hurt me, I couldn’t, and apparently he’d made off with the other guy who listened to me. Fortunately, cats couldn’t talk, or else Liam would unearth all my secrets.
How much I missed him and how much of a mess I was without him, and that I’d watched some truly horrible reality shows while mainlining sugar this past week because it made me feel better to watch other people who also didn’t have their lives together. What could I say? Inner happiness was a tricky, slippery bitch.
I knocked on the front door to the house and walked inside. “Liam?”
“Up here,” he said.
The rest of his family was nowhere to be seen. I’d had a few awkward run-ins with Blake when we were both leaving or arriving home at the same time. He was always nice, but it hurt, and two days suddenly seemed like too many between me and my move to another place.
The third to last stair still squeaked, and naturally he’d chosen his bedroom for our meeting, since evidently reliving every memory ever with him this past week wasn’t enough torture.
