Page 31 of Until We're More

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“Are you ready?” he asked Chelsea. “I reserved one of the tables near the stage so you can get the whole experience.”

Damn. If the guy were a total asshole, this would be easier. I could glare and threaten and not feel the slightest bit bad about it. But he was taking her out in style and cared she got the “whole experience” and had the time and the means to do that.

As much as it killed me to admit, even to myself, I wasn’t the guy she needed. I smothered my pride and forced a breath out through my nose—partly to keep calm and partly because her perfume still lingered in the air, and inhaling it would only make it harder to hold on to my resolve. “You kids have fun.” I walked toward Chelsea, and my hand went to her lower back as if it had a mind of its own. “If you need anything, you call.”

Her eyes met mine, and my lungs stopped taking in oxygen. She gave one quick nod. “Thanks, Liam. Good night,” she said, then she took the hand I had on her back, gave it a squeeze, and slowly dropped it.

I closed the door behind them, forcing myself to hold it in place instead of ripping it open, charging after her, and telling her not to go. What the hell was wrong with me? When had I become so needy?

About the time missing her turned into constant misery.

That was my own selfish shit. She still had this belief that people didn’t want her, and if Kevin could change her mind about that, I’d…well, I’d try to be okay with it.

It’s good, I told myself for the hundredth time. They can go to the blues club and talk books, and she has me to take care of anything he can’t.

Like how to satisfy her in bed.

I froze, a hot surge going through me as I willed my limbs to carry me the rest of the way to the couch. That thought came out of nowhere.

Well, not exactly nowhere. The seed had been planted after the movie with the talk about the right kind of sex. And my brain had gotten carried away imagining the kind of hot, passionate sex she and I could have if things were different.

But then I remembered the way she’d cried in my arms the other night, and while I felt guilty enough for bringing up the subject that’d caused it, I’d hate myself if I was the one who’d made her cry. And if she and I crossed lines, inevitably, I would be.

So instead, I’d sit here and drink myself numb. Seemed as good a plan as any.

Chapter Thirteen

Chelsea

The club was so fancy that I experienced a tinge of imposter syndrome. Every time someone glanced my way, I halfway expected them to point at me and shout,Hey, someone like her isn’t supposed to be here!

After going through the secret entrance that had a fake law office name on the door, we walked through nice area after nice area. Cushy seats in rich fabrics with big buttons lined one side of the room, and there was a giant chandelier over the bar, along with one in the freaking bathroom lobby. Why would a bathroom even need a lobby? Gilded frames hung on the walls and ceiling. Honestly, the opulence made me slightly uncomfortable. One, I didn’t belong here, and two, how could people spend so much on one night? It made me itch to think about the cost of the decorations and the food and the drinks.

“Are you having a good time?” Kevin asked.

Super sweet. Also the fifth time he’d asked me since arriving, and like those other times, I nodded and chose an answer from the quickly dwindling affirmative category. Soon I’d run out of variations and have to repeat myself.

Liam would never keep—Nope, not doing the comparison thing, remember?

Everyone would always fall short, and it wasn’t helpful. He’d seemed…off somehow today, and especially tonight. And when he’d put his hand on my back, I’d almost wanted to tell Kevin,Never mind the grand date you’ve planned. I’d rather stay home with my roommate. I still couldn’t believe I’d called him that, as if that would somehow make him less intimidating to Kevin.

“So, uh, your roommate friend guy…” Kevin said, and I worried I’d spoken my thoughts aloud. “How long have you known him?”

“Since junior high. We grew up next door to each other.”

He nodded. “And you’re just…friends?”

If I had a dollar for every time someone had asked me that, I wouldn’t need to bust my ass and fake being assertive to get a higher-paying job. “Yeah. He’s letting me crash while I’m in town opening a branch here in San Diego with the company I work for.” I thought about adding I was paying rent, but it was such a tiny amount, not to mention unnecessary information.

Go me, realizing that before prattling on and on about it.

“Oh.” Kevin’s brow furrowed. “You don’t live here full-time?”

I supposed I should’ve told him that sooner, or thought about telling him, anyway, but I was worried about saying too much and sending him running in the other direction. Guess I’d better mentally un-high-five myself for thinking I was getting better at sorting necessary information. I explained how I’d relocated to Denver for a job, and he looked slightly disappointed by the news. Which was flattering, and I really should’ve held on to that before wondering if Liam would be sad when I left. Not only because it bummed me out, but it also steered my focus to the wrong dude.

You’re not even giving this a chance.Determined to try harder, I asked Kevin several get-to-know-you-type questions. He worked in finance, had moved here from Vegas, which was too hot and dry for him, and he had two sisters.

“I thought this place was the perfect pick because it has that whole Gatsby vibe,” he said.