Page 74 of Counterfeit Boyfriend
I wanted to sayno, you shouldn’t have,but going back in time and undoing it would mean erasing the memories she and I had together, and everything in me revolted at that as well.
“I thought a lot about what you said—about how you always got the raw end of the deal whenever we switched places.”
“Except with Gwen,” I said. “That’s the only time I got the better end of the bargain, because I got to spend all that time with her.” My heart knotted, and I rubbed at my chest. “Even though, no, you shouldn’t have asked, and I shouldn’t have gone along with it.”
Evan’s eyebrows arched as the rest of his features slackened—I wasn’t sure which part he found so shocking. “Damn. You’ve got it bad for her.”
I clenched my jaw against the tide of misery that constantly flowed and ebbed, one that I feared might never go away. “What do you want?”
He nodded. “That’s fair, I guess. Usually I do show up when I want something. But this time, I really just came over to say I was sorry. I don’t want some girl to tear us apart.” His gaze dipped to the way I’d automatically clenched my fists, and he held up his hands. “Sorry. Not just some girl. But the sentiment’s the same.”
I worked on releasing my tight muscles and the headache throbbing to life at my temples lessened. “I don’t want things to be strained between us, either.”
“I can’t make up for all the years that I pulled you into my messes,” Evan said. “But I’m sorry that you had to clean up so many of them, and I promise that from now on, I’ll clean them up myself.” One corner of his mouth kicked up. “Except if I land in jail and or need a lawyer for something—you’re crazy if you think I’d go to dad.”
I chuckled at that.
“So we good?” he asked.
“We’re good.”
Evan clapped me on the shoulder. Then his eyes met mine. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit.”
“Well, since there’re so manyrightways to take that, I’ll choose one of them.”
My brother laughed, but the humor faded as quickly as it came, his expression growing serious. “You know, I was so pissed that you’d try to take Gwen from me. That you’d cross that line…”
“Hey, you were the one who—”
“I know, I know.” Evan held up two fingers. “Peace, remember? I came to declare peace. What I’m saying is, now that I see you and how miserable you clearly are without her, I realize I never cared about her the way you do.”
I clenched my jaw, working to keep a lid on those damn mushy emotions that refused to stay down. “I tried to tell myself it was messed up to even think about crossing that line with her because you two had dated, but…”
“But I forced you on that road trip, and she’s super-hot.”
“Among a lot of other things. I know it sounds cheesy, but I’ve never connected with anyone like that.”
“Yeah, you’ve definitely got it bad.”
“I’d like to say something noble, like if you’re not okay with it, I won’t pursue her. But I can’t do that.” Earlier I’d deluded myself into thinking maybe I could cut my losses, but talking about Gwen, thinking about her… It sent resolve coursing through me once again. “Not that I know how to get her to forgive me, or to even fucking talk to me, but if she ever does, nothing will hold me back.”
“Well, if you want the advice she gave me when she thought I was just some random drunk dude with the wrong number, she said to show the girl how much you care, and to be there for her.”
I thought I’d told her how much I cared, and I wanted to be there for her, but it was hard when she wouldn’t let me.
Maybe she needed more than that. Maybe she needed proof that we were supposed to be together, and I just so happened to have experience with proof and beyond reasonable doubts. In fact, getting rid of reasonable doubts was in my job description.
Gwen and I might not have months of history, but that didn’t mean shit when it came to love.
Love.The word echoed through me. I hadn’t let myself dare think the word these past two weeks, but it’d popped in there before I could stop it, and the knowledge of how much I loved her washed over me, no way I could deny it, and I found I didn’t want to.
And after I proved to her that I knew the real her—the one she didn’t let everyone see—I intended to tell her. If I could get her to believe that, hopefully I could get her to believe in the rest. To believe in us.
An idea started forming. One I really hoped wouldn’t end with her filing a restraining order against me. If anyone could appreciate going after what you wanted, surely it’d be a girl who ignored signs about pools being closed.
“I’d recognize that look anywhere,” Evan said. “You’ve got the Haynes scheming face on.”
If my scheming was less tricking and more winning over, surely that made it okay. “Go big or go home, right?”
Proving that even after all the shit that’d happened the past few weeks, when it came down to it, my brother was a good guy, he said, “What can I do to help?”
