Page 47 of Counterfeit Boyfriend
20Gwen
“I can’t believethey set you up in the office downstairs,” I said. “This is ridiculous. I’m a grown-ass woman. I live on my own. If we weren’t here, we could have sex all the time.”
Evan’s eyebrows shot up.
“I mean, I know we haven’t been, but I want to now, and…” My heart beat an erratic rhythm in my chest. “You want to, right?”
“I don’t want your dad to kill me.”
I frowned. That wasn’t the answer I wanted, even though it was something I also wanted. Or didn’t want. Whatever.
Evan cupped my cheek. “We don’t have to rush it. I think you’re amazing, and I’ve had the best day.”
“I have, too, which is why I don’t want it to end. And my parents have to fall asleep sometime. We can just wait them out and then I’ll sneak you into my room and—”
“Honestly, I’m exhausted.”
“Oh.” Disappointment tugged at my heart and lungs, dragging them down to make more room for my rising self-doubt. Did guys sometimes choose sleep if sex was an option? I only had one other relationship to compare it to, and that guy was never too exhausted, but he also wasn’t too tired to screw my best friend, so… “I’m sorry that my dad interrogated you like that. I think that Kyle’s betrayal took us all by surprise, enough that my dad felt like he didn’t vet him properly, even though he’s not the one who vetted him, and…”
If talking about my ex-boyfriend and my dad didn’t get Evan in the mood, I didn’t know what would.
Stupid tears pricked my eyes. Maybe I was one of those girls who could temporarily snag a guy but not keep him. After my dad had asked that loaded question, the one about where he saw this relationship going, I’d cut it off. Told him that was enough questions if he wanted us to stay. Then I inquired after his job, something Dad had reluctantly let me steer the conversation toward until he’d gotten caught up in it for real. Only now I was kind of wishing I hadn’t interfered, because I wanted to know, while also being terrified that I didn’t want to know. Not when knowing might break my heart, and I’d finally put the pieces back together and gave it time to remember how to beat. How to love again.
No. I can’t let it go there if he doesn’t love me back.
I was also being a bit of a chicken, what with the wedding tomorrow and all the inevitable drama that’d pop up there. I needed the guy I’d spent the best-day-ever with. The guy who promised he’d be by my side and assured me I’d be fine.
Of course, he also said I’d be fine no matter what, because I was me and could take on the world.
Was it bad to want to have hot, passionate sex with my boyfriend more than wanting to take on the world? After all, say I was going to be a superhero—or even a villainess—even they usually had sidekicks.
“Don’t worry about it,” Evan said, and it took my brain a few seconds to sort through my storm of emotions and go back to my apology over my dad.
“You could come up for a little while before heading back down to bed.” I put my hand on the banister of the stairs, hoping Evan wouldn’t let me really go up all alone. I’d promised him cuddling! Admittedly, I’d wanted some of that cuddling for myself.
“Better not,” he said.
My pride stung, the pain radiating through my heart. Well, smarting or not, I still had some self-respect, and I wasn’t going tobeghim to sneak up to my room and spend the night with me, even if it felt like in a lot of ways I’d done exactly that.
I wanted him to want me.
Why doesn’t he want me?
“Guess this is goodnight, then.” Something deep inside of me cracked right open, and I quickly spun around to head upstairs.
Evan caught my wrist, holding me in place until I slowly turned back to face him. His eyes bored into mine, and it was like he was challenging me to… I didn’t know. See something there.
“I see you,” I said. “You’re the guy who’s made me happier than I ever thought was possible these past few days. The guy who’s different in more ways than I realized. The guy who makes me feel safe, even on rides that are built overnight by people in a hurry.”
One corner of his mouth quirked up, bringing out that chiseled jawline that I’d gone from borderline to full-out obsessed with.
It seemed like whatever was holding him back was fracturing. Peeling away.
I stepped down one stair, the extra boost in my height leaving us nose-to-nose, and whispered, “I see you, Evan.”
His expression shifted, and the smile he gave me held so much sadness. He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm that sunk deep and radiated all the way up my arm. Then he dropped it and said, his voice so quiet I could barely make out the words. “Goodnight, Guinevere.”
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