Page 46 of Until You're Mine
Trey slanted me a look, and shit, I was going to cry, and I hated crying. “I wish I didn’t want to murder him so badly.” Or kiss him, or do more with him.
My…boyfriend? gave me a sad smile.
Out it came, one word at a time. Working at the gym and fitting in workouts; running into my ex at the bar and putting on an act to get Shane the fight; and how my old life was wrapping its tentacles around me and trying to pull me back into it.
Then dead silence.
It felt like an hour but probably only lasted a minute or two—in other words, they were in-the-cage minutes, where each second slowed down and stretched into infinite possibilities for pain.
“I knew the second I kissed you at the gym that it was over,” Trey said. “All those weeks apart, and you didn’t kiss me back.”
A sharp pang went through my chest—the planhadbeen to kiss him, mostly so I could convince myself that my doubts would disappear once we were in the same zip code again. But I couldn’t bring myself to truly do it, not with Shane in the same vicinity.
I sniffed. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you more over the phone. I kept almost saying something and then holding back. Mostly because you’re, like, the perfect boyfriend. You’re safe and reliable, and you were always there when I needed you. I probably never told you how much I appreciated that, but I did.”
He shrugged one shoulder, humble as ever. “And just so you don’t feel too horrible, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Emily. Nothing’s happened, but…”
“You want it to.”
“There’s something there.” His eyebrows drew together. “Maybe.”
Again, I felt mostly relief. The mix of sadness and anxiety tightening my lungs was more because a phase of my life was ending and I didn’t know what that meant about my future. “If it’s not too weird, I can text her and tell her she has my blessing.”
“Oh, no, that’d besuper weird. Please don’t do that.”
I laughed and held up my hands in surrender. “All right. I’ll let you sweep her off her feet without warning.” I slumped back into the couch cushions, the weight that’d been pushing me down for so long finally easing up.
“Now that some of the bruising on my pride’s wearing off, I am a little impressed at your moves.”
I wanted to shove his shoulder, but touching him was suddenly awkward. “A little?”
He chuckled. “A lot.”
“Better.” I picked up my phone. “Shall I order pizza?”
“Even though this is the calmest breakup I’ve ever experienced, I don’t know if I want to sit here and pretend nothing’s changed.” Trey scooted to the edge of the couch and tapped his fingers on his knee in that way he did when he was anxious. “I think I’m going to see how soon I can get a flight out of town. Southern California and I aren’t jelling.”
“Fair enough. Want me to give you a ride to the airport?”
“Now that I’ll take you up on.”
…
Rain slashed at my windows and pattered against the roof of my Mustang as I circled the neighborhood Shane lived in two times. AKA I chickened out two times. Part of me was still beyond pissed at him. And I didn’t kid myself that he and I could work long-term. I was still going back to San Francisco and his career was about to skyrocket, I could just sense it.
But we could spend time together until those things happened. Between his intensive training. And all the work I had to do to catch up the books at the gym. My brothers and Dad would strongly oppose, so we’d have to keep it a secret on top of everything else, which would also cut down the time we’d have.
So there were complications. Like, a ridiculous amount of them. But I couldn’t get him out of my head. From his desire to protect me, even as it pissed me off how overboard he went about it, to the way everything in me reached for him whenever we were in the same vicinity. Every time he’d texted me or told me “now” about wanting to kiss me. As furious as I was, I’d nearly dissolved into a puddle of molten hot need when he’d brushed his thumb across my lip.
His words replayed through my head:Now. Now, now, for the love of Godnow.
Desire and affection melded together and streaked through my body, giving me the strength to turn into the parking lot in front of his apartment complex. I pulled into an empty spot, took out my phone, and sent him a text.
Me:Ask me to come over.
I followed the swiping blades of the windshield wipers. One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thous—
Shane:I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now.
