Page 56 of Getting Lucky Number Seven

So I’d set up camp on the silky floral couch with gilded trim that kept catching my hair. I lifted my giant literature book higher, trying to focus on the paragraph I’d read three times without knowing what it said. My mind kept replaying talking to Megan and everything she’d said about Beck and how she could tell he’d changed his mind.

If he didn’t feel what I’m feeling, he never would’ve opened up to me the way he did yesterday, I’m sure of it.

If anything, yesterday was another reason to let him know how much I cared. Let him know he didn’t have to go through things alone anymore. My pulse raced faster and faster as I seriously considered telling him I loved him. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold it back. It was dying to burst out of me, to spread the warmth and happiness radiating through every inch of my body.

Just do it. Be bold.

That was the whole point of the bucket list, right? Stop holding back. Take risks. And how many times had I told Whitney to stop driving herself crazy and talk to Matt already? Still, it was a hell of a risk.

With a hell of an awesome payback if he felt the same way.

I’m going to do it.Nerves rolled through my stomach.I’m going to tell him I love him.

I heard the front door open and tossed my book onto the coffee table. I barely restrained myself from running.

Beck was turned, pulling the door closed behind him. A thrill shot through me at the sight of him.

“Hey! How’d it—” The tension filling every inch of his rigid posture and tight expression as he spun to face me stopped me cold. Dark circles showed under his eyes and his hair was messy, like he’d been repeatedly running his hands through it. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay.”

I moved to hug him, but he held out an arm, keeping me back. “Just…don’t.”

Hurt flooded my chest. “What’s going on?”

“My dad has another kid. He had an affair, too, just like my mom. Because that’s what my family does. And now I get to clean up the mess.”

“I’m so sorry. I—”

“I can’t be with you, Lyla. Not the way you want.”

Panic rose up, its steel fingers clutching my heart as I struggled to keep up with the change in topic. “Wait. How’d we go from talking about your parents to you and me?” I took a step toward him and put my hand on his arm. “We can deal with this. Together.”

Beck shook his head. “I’ll just let you down. You need to find someone else.”

No matter how much I tried to breathe in, I couldn’t get any oxygen to my lungs. “I don’t want anyone else.”

“You wanna wait until I cheat on you?” he asked, his words as sharp as ice picks.

Tears crawled up my throat and blurred my eyes. “That’s crap, and a total cop-out. You can control who you sleep with. When you love someone, you work at it. Don’t use your parents as an excuse to dump me.”

“In order to dump you, I’d have to be dating you. I told you from the beginning that all this could be was sex—I warned you.”

“You did.” My chin trembled, my voice along with it. “How silly of me to go and fall in love with you anyway.”

He stared at me, his blue eyes so cold and hard. Cracks formed in my heart, pain pushing in and pouring out at the same time.

“It’s not real, Ly. I pretended I could be a normal guy with a girlfriend, and you pretended to be the sexy party girl. But at the end of the day, we were both lying.”

My tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks. “That’s me.” I sniffed. “Pretend sexy, and in love with a guy who doesn’t feel the same way.” I strode toward the door, surprised my body still functioned despite the crushing agony obliterating my internal organs. Right before I stepped outside, I turned back and looked at my supposed best friend. “Thanks for the mind-blowing sex at least. So glad you took pity on the plain girl who couldn’t get off.”

Chapter Thirty

Beck

The bang of the door slamming behind her echoed through my body. Loud. Empty. Hollow.

Her face. The pain.My lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, squeezing out every bit of air until no more remained.

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