Page 63 of Confessions of a Former Puck Bunny

Mom shrugged, a smug, what-can-you-do gesture.

“Look, what your mom is saying is girls like Lindsay…” Dad sighed. “I’ve met a hundred of them. They like you because they look at you as their ticket to more. She’s already borrowing your car, and then she’ll just need some money for this or that, until suddenly you’re supporting her shopping sprees and buying her an apartment.”

Offense bubbled up, making my blood pump hotter. “Lindsay’s not a gold digger. She doesn’t even know that I have money.” Or more accurately that I would once I turned twenty-one and Dad released my trust fund. At least it didn’t depend on whether or not he was proud of me, because I now knew I’d never attain that level, and I was done killing myself trying.

“Oh, son, girls always know.” Dad arched his eyebrows. “And I’m guessing you told her that I used to play for the NHL…”

I opened my mouth and closed it without saying anything, not sure how to respond. I tried to remember when exactly I’d told her, then got mad at myself because it didn’t matter.

Nope, it didn’t matter that it was the night everything seemed to change between us.

“Like I said, girls always know. Especially one raised to manipulate men into giving her everything.” Dad took a step toward me, and it almost looked like he was going to put his hand on my shoulder like Mom had, but he dropped it before making contact. Which was good. I wouldn’t know what to do with a gesture like that from him, but I sure as hell didn’t want it, especially now. “Lindsay’s mom…”

The sense of foreboding grew, binding my lungs.

“Remember when I found out your father had put his girlfriend up in a nice apartment on the outskirts of the city?” Mom asked. “Well, that was Lindsay’s mother, and when I found out, that was the final straw that tore our family apart for good.”

I shook my head. “That’s the craziest story I’ve ever heard. Who concocted it?” I looked at Dad. “You?” I turned to Mom. “You? Really, all this to try to get rid of a girlfriend you don’t approve of?”

“It’s true,” Dad said. “Yvette Rivera worked the hockey circuit. She went to every hockey game, event, and party she could along the East Coast. She’s a beautiful woman and she knew just what to say to pull guys in, especially when they might be feeling underappreciated at home.”

Mom made a disgusted noise.

“Anyway, I got caught up with her and started seeing her more and more, and…” He cleared his throat. “For a while, I was supporting her and her daughter. At the time, Lindsay must’ve been about twelve or so. I wasn’t sure it was her at first, but she looks so much like her mom, and when your mother told me she was the editor of the paper, I looked her up, and sure enough, the name fit. I…” He ran a hand along his jaw. “Since I was trying to keep it a secret, I only visited after Lindsay was asleep or when she stayed with friends or her grandparents.”

Dad’s features hardened and an angry vein throbbed in his forehead. “That woman tore my family apart. I won’t let her daughter play my son the way she played me.”

So nice how he blamed the woman and not himself. From the disgusted look on Mom’s face, she was thinking the same, or maybe she was just angry about his affair, and she had every right to be. My mind spun over everything else he’d said, and what it meant. I could hardly believe it, but I put the pieces together with what Lindsay had said about her mom, and I hated that it might not be a total lie.

“Lindsay’s not playing me,” I said, my voice coming out less steady than I wanted it to. “Maybe her mom played you, but she’s not like that.”

“After she’d sunk her hooks into me, nice and deep, I heard the sob story,” Dad said. “About how she just needed time to get on her feet. About how Lindsay’s father left her with nothing and she’d been struggling to make ends meet as a single mom ever since. She even told me she might have to move if she couldn’t find a way to stay, and like an idiot, I offered to help her out. I’m not sure any of it was true. I just know that whileIwas paying for her apartment, she was out flirting with my teammates, trying to get what she could from them as well.

“Obviously, Lindsay’s a pretty girl, and she’s clearly learned her mom’s same tricks. I bet she knows exactly what to say…” Dad clenched his jaw, his eyes far away for a moment before they returned to me. “You chose the worst possible person in the world to get involved with, and don’t tell me it hasn’t messed with how well you’ve been playing. I was there at the game last night when you looked up at her, right before you started racking up mistakes.”

“Lindsay’s not like that,” I repeated, ignoring what he’d said about the game since it was a little too true. Each breath tightened my chest. For the first time, I’d finally let someone all the way in. I thought of how long she’d resisted my advances, and how hesitant she was to get involved…

This whole situation seemed surreal, like a bad dream I’d wake up from. And while I wished I would, it didn’t change anything. It was something Lindsay and I might have to work through, and yeah, I’d rather her momnotbe the reason my parents broke up, but really, they’d been on the brink of divorce for years before that. “You guys need to go. I’ve got a lot to do today to prepare for tomorrow’s game.”

“That’s the point,” Dad said. “You need your head straight. Just take a break from her—at least until after the Frozen Four Championship. If you’re right about her, she’ll understand. But if you don’t play well in this tournament, the scouts will see that, and your coach will hesitate to play you next year. No one wants a player who chokes in the big games.”

I’d been teetering on the brink of anger as it was, but that pushed me right over the edge. “No one wants their parents to come drop a huge bomb on them the day before one of the biggest games of their lives, either, but you don’t care about what I want, do you, Dad? You want me to be just like you. But I’m not. I’m the guy who needs a backup plan in case I’m as bad at hockey as you say. And if I never get drafted, I’ll brush myself off and…teach high school math or something. If it comes to that, I’ll even be mostly okay with that.”

The words came out tight, because they weren’t 100 percent true, even as I tried to make them so. But I still liked that I had given myself options.

Both of my parents wrinkled their noses. My mom seemed to be inwardly struggling with something before her face smoothed. “At least try to be a college professor, if you’re going that route.”

“He’s not fucking going that route,” Dad snapped. “After they win the Frozen Four Tournament, he’ll experience what it feels like to be a winner after someactual time on the iceand realize he also wants to make money. This is just his way of lashing out.”

I exhaled a breath, suddenly exhausted, the desire to be alone taking over. I did want to experience winning the Frozen Four Tournament, as not just someone who’d played a few seconds, but for most of the game. I wanted to play for the NHL. It would be nice if my dad’s approval didn’t rely on it, and clearly it did. Say I did make it, even then, it would never be enough. In a way, it was a relief to let go of the need to make him proud. To not feel like I had to live in his shadow as Lindsay had put it.

I walked to the door and held it open. “Good-bye, Mom and Dad. Next time, call first.”

Dad crossed his arms and so I crossed mine right back. If it came down to it, I was in better shape, and for the first time in my life, I could easily take him.

“You’ve still got eight months until the trust fund thatIset up for you kicks in. You might want to think about that.”

I flicked my eyes to the ceiling like I was pondering it and then looked back at him. “Thought about it. Feel the same way.Out.”

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