Page 68 of Confessions of a Former Puck Bunny

The walls-closing-in sensation grew to the overwhelming point and I rushed toward the side of the room where there was more breathing space to regroup and look for my friends.

“Lindsay! Hey!” Daniel Kelly waved me over.

Since he was the first hockey player I’d encountered since the game, all the cheer coursing through me rose up and came out in the form of a squeal. “Congrats on the game! That was amazing.”

“What?” he asked, leaning closer and placing his hand on my lower back.

“I said congrats on the game! I’m so excited that you guys are advancing to the next round!”

“Yeah, I’m so stoked.”

He glanced at the red Solo cups in my hands and flashed me a big grin. “Two-fisting it. I admire that.”

I laughed and then moved my lips next to his ear so he could have a chance at hearing me. “One’s for Ryder. Do you know if he’s here yet?”

“I’m pretty sure Ox was right behind me when I came in. Last I saw, he was right over…” Daniel’s spine went stick straight and he slowly dropped his hand from my back.

When my gaze followed his, I saw for myself why he looked so freaked out. Ryder stood a few feet away, his fists clenched, a murderous gleam in his eye.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ryder

The high from winning the game drained from my body as rage rushed up to fill the void.

You know what made it hard to convince yourself that you were being stupid and worrying over nothing? When you saw your girlfriend laughing and talking to your teammate, his hand on her back, their close posture way too intimate.

“Hey, babe!” Lindsay took three large steps, wrapped her arms around my waist, and kissed my cheek. My nerve endings short-circuited, the whiplash of going from anger to desire confusing them. She’d called me babe, too.

Maybe she threw it out because she needed to divert attention from the fact that she was flirting with my teammate two seconds ago. I’d tried to ignore it and convince myself it was no big deal before, just like I’d attempted to do the same with the bartender a couple of nights ago.

“What the hell, Lindsay?”

She carefully withdrew her arms and glanced at the cups in her hands. “Did I spill on you? Sorry.” She licked one of the cups and her hand, swiping the liquid off with her tongue. “I got you a drink to celebrate your win.”

“Daniel gets to put his hands all over you while you flirt with him, and all I get is a drink?”

She scrunched up her eyebrows, and Daniel disappeared, moving faster than he ever did on the rink. “I was not flirting with him. I was congratulating him on the win, the way I’m trying to congratulate you. Maybe you’d see that if you pulled your head out of your ass.”

“Oh, so I just imagined it?” A distant part of me knew I was being a huge prick, yet I couldn’t stop, especially aftershewas getting mad atme. “I’m not an idiot. I know you two have hooked up before.”

Her face dropped. “Forever ago.” She shook her head. “You said you didn’t care about that.”

“I don’t care about the past, but this is the present that’s happening right now.”

“Thanks for the lesson and for being a condescending jerk while all I’m trying to do is congratulate you on your win.” She clenched her jaw. “Why don’t you just say what this is really about? I had a run-in with your dad at the game. Thanks for warning me that our parents had a history.”

Of course Dad went and told her before I could—why am I even surprised?“I barely found out myself, and I’m trying to deal with it.”

She swung the drink in her right hand around. “No, you’re not dealing with it, you’re freaking out. I get it, because it freaks me out, too, but I tried to tell myself that you and I are different, and our parents’ past didn’t matter, just like my past didn’t matter.”

I raked my hand through my hair. “This isn’t about the past. I’ve given up a lot of hours of studying and training to be with you, and I need you to tell me that I wasn’t just your way back into the hockey world.”

She let out a mirthless laugh. “Like I couldn’t have gotten in without you? Oh, I could’ve in a hot minute, but if you’ll remember right, I didn’twantto be pulled back into this world.” She jabbed a finger into my chest. “You’rethe one who insisted you wanted me here.”

Things were getting out of control and my thoughts whirred, trying to sort out the facts from the emotionally charged situation. “I do. I just…” I dragged a hand over my face. “I’m trying to process. But with the NCAA Tournament coming up, what I need to do is focus on hockey. I can’t afford to screw up and let all my hard work go to waste.Istill have to go to college here next year.”

“You’ve had time to process, several more hours than I have, and I think we both know you’ve already made up your mind, even if you don’t want to have to come out and say it.” She pressed her lips together, her eyes going glossy. “The really sad thing is, I started to think I belonged here. You clearly don’t see that, though, because you’re looking at me all conflicted, like a problem to be solved, even after I’ve been nothing but upfront with you. About how I grew up; who I used to be. Obviously when you said that you don’t care about my past, you meant you’d wait and throw it in my face after I fell for you, so it could hurt that much worse.

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