Page 55 of Truth Or Dare
Turning back around, I catch Gabi’s gaze on me, and her brows knit with worry. “It didn’t work,” she says, her eyes fixed on the earphones in my hand, her throat bobbing as she swallows. “It doesn’t work when you’re not here.”
Air escapes my nose as my heart clenches in my chest, every part of me hurting for her. “I’m here now,” I tell her, sliding into bed beside her.
I place one earbud in her ear, moving her hair out of the way, and then insert the other into my own ear. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I plug it in, the music playing quietly in our ears.
Gabi’s eyes meet mine, and a jumble of emotions knots up in my chest. Her lips drop into a frown, and it feels like a punch to the gut. “I don’t want you to look at me differently,” she says, her breath trembling.
I furrow my own brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
She presses her lips together, closing her eyes briefly before meeting my gaze again. “I love the way you look at me,” she says. “Like you see something I don’t.” Her eyebrows knit together, a hint of sadness in her expression. “Like you see something in me that’s beautiful.”
My heart races, and my stomach twists into knots. I wish she could see herself like I do. She’d never doubt how amazing she is to me, how much she matters, how Ineedher more than anything.
“Are you disgusted by me now?”
My expression tightens, her question catching me off guard. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. She’s the reason I wake up in the morning when everything in my brain tells me not to. And here she is, asking me if shedisgustsme.
“You could never disgust me,” I tell her, feeling my heart lodged in my throat. “This changes nothing, Gabi.” I wrap my arm around her, pulling her into me until I press my lips to her forehead. “You’re still the strong, badass best friend I’ve always known.”
She chokes out a laugh, and my heart flutters at the sound. She tilts her head back, tugging at her bottom lip. “I’m not feeling very strong right now,” she admits, her gaze dropping. “I just...I thought it would make me feel better. I thought it would help, or go away, but it’s still there.” A heavy breath escapes her lipsas she lifts her hand to press two fingers to the side of her head. “It’s stillhere. I can’t escape it. No matter how hard I try.”
My stomach churns because...I know exactly how she feels. I know the thoughts swirling in my head, the feelings coursing through my veins, the pain and weight so heavy it makes me want to just...give up.
But the idea of Gabi ever feeling like that breaks me.
“You can’t do that again, Gabi,” I choke out, my voice strained. “The thought of you hurting fucking kills me.” She lifts her gaze to meet mine, her lip quivering. “If you leave this earth...” I pause, my throat tightening as I swallow hard. The thought alone makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t even entertain the idea of that ever happening. “I promise I won’t be in it much longer.”
“Chris,” Gabi’s voice trembles, tears brimming in her eyes as she shakes her head. “Please...don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth,” I grit out, my grip on her waist tightening. My heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest, and I’m sure she can hear it. I gaze into her blue eyes, missing their usual sparkle. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I need you?” I ask, watching her eyes widen in surprise. “Ineedyou, Gabi. More than you can ever imagine.”
Her lips part, and I’m locked into her eyes, feeling her pain deep in my chest. Footsteps echo outside, and I freeze, my eyes widening. I don’t wanna leave her, but... “What if your dad—”
“Please don’t leave me,” she pleads, burying her head against my chest, letting out a heavy sigh. “I need you here.”
I need her too. So fucking much. More than is healthy. “I won’t,” I promise, my voice firm. “I won’t go.” I’m not leaving this bed unless the bastard drags me out himself. “I’ll stay for however long you want me to.”
She snuggles closer, her breath warm against my chest. “It’s quiet.”
I stroke her back, the soft music playing in the earbud we share. “What is?”
“The noise in my head,” she explains. “It quiets down when you’re here.”
I blow out a breath, closing my eyes as I feel her hand clutching my sweatshirt.
They completely fucking disappear whenever I’m with you.
Chapter 17
Dancing in the kitchen
If music ever disappeared, I don’t think I’d last very long.
Music is a part of my soul. It always has been. It’s embedded into every part of me. I love how it fills my head and drowns out the noise and the million thoughts in my brain.
So, it’s only natural that I have music playing while I make breakfast.
I’d worry about waking Chris up if I didn’t know he can’t sleep without music. We’re the same that way. We’re the same in somany ways. I remember the first time he placed his headphones over my ears and helped me drown out the noise.
