Page 117 of Never Have I Ever
He swallows. “I love you, Rosie. I love you so much, I just didn’t fucking know it.” He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I thought love was, but fuck, I love you. Of course, I love you. I can’t stop thinking it, saying it. I want to say it all the time. I almost did a few times,” he admits.
“I honestly thought I was just caught up in the moment, but my mind knew it before I did. Everything I feel for you screams love,” he says, running his thumb over my cheek. “I want to be with you every day, all the time. It feels like I can’t breathe when I’m not with you,” he says, shaking his head. “Seeing you in there, with some other guy’s hands on you, made me realize that I couldn’t let you go. I knew if I didn’t accept my feelings and tell you, I would lose you forever, and I won’t let that happen. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I let the best thing that’s ever happened to me out of reach.”
I can’t contain it. I smile so wide at the man I love, who loves me back. My heart thumps so loud I’m sure he can hear it. “Grayson.” I breathe out.
He groans. “Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me. I want you. Today, tomorrow, and the next. I want you forever. If you’ll have me, I want to be yours. Completely yours, and I want you to be mine.”
I nod, I don’t stop nodding, and he laughs, but he doesn’t stop there. “I want to wake up with you, go to sleep with you, go on adventures with you. I want to buy you flowers every single day.”
I laugh. “That seems a little excessive—”
“I’ll do anything for you, angel. Everything. I will be the best for you. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Whatever it takes, I will do it.”
“You mean that?”
“I mean every fucking word,” he says, taking my hand and placing it over his chest. “You are the only girl that makes my heart beat this fast. The only girl I dream of kissing. The only person I trust undoubtedly with everything.”
“I trust you too.” I breathe out. His heart beats under my touch, and I gasp.
The corner of his mouth lifts. “I told you. It’s only you that does that to me. You’ve fucking ruined me, Rosie.”
I look down at where his hand is covering mine, pressed against his chest. I miss him so much. I miss having his hands on me, touching him, kissing him, and he’s here telling me he loves me. I don’t know what to make of it.
“You hurt me,” I whisper.
“I know,” he says, frowning. “I will apologize for pushing you away every single day of my life. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll never make you regret being with me. I love you, Rosie. I love you. I love you,” he repeats, making me laugh, tears filling my eyes. “If you don’t want to be with me… fuck, I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll know that it’s your decision, that it’s what you want. I need you in my life, but if you don’t feel the same way then…” He trails off, looking to the side, his jaw clenches as he closes his eyes and breathes out, running a hand through his hair.
My eyes fall down and catch on his arm. I freeze. My whole body stops moving, I stop breathing. “Grayson,” I whisper. He looks down, seeing what I’m seeing, and places my hand on his arm, allowing my fingers to explore the tattoo. “Angel wings?” I ask.
He nods. “You were inside my head, Rosie. Every day, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get you out. You were already a part of me, and I never wanted to forget you, so I needed you on my body too.”
He drops his head, his eyes darkening as his hand clutches my face. “You made me believe in love, Rosie. I was in denial, I didn’t want to believe it. I just… love hasn’t worked out well for me before. My parents, my uncle,” he says squeezing his eyes shut.
He blows out a breath and opens his eyes. “I’m so scared to lose you. To me, you are the definition of love and I’m so sorry, angel. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure my shit out and realize how crazy in love I am with you.”
I look up at him and swallow. His dark eyes burn into mine, his hair falls over his face. I reach up and brush his hair out of his face and stand on my toes. “I love you, Grayson.”
He smiles, his dark hair falling back onto his face as he bends down to pick me up. He grabs my thighs, and I tighten my legs around his waist as he holds me up. “Fuck, I love you too.”
Our lips meet, and I smile into the kiss, which he returns as he laughs into my mouth. We’re smiling together as we kiss, and it’s perfect. He’s perfect, and he loves me. I tighten my hold around his neck as he presses me into the wall.
I hum into his mouth when I feel wetness on my forehead, along with another and another. We break apart as we look up, rain falling on us, heavier now.
He grins. “Looks like you got your kiss in the rain.”
I can’t help but smile. “Just fucking kiss me.”
“Such hostile words from an angel,” he repeats his words from our first time. “But I’ll happily oblige,” he says before our lips meet again, and the warm feel of his lips and tongue contrasts the cold rain falling on my shoulders, drenching us.
I’ve never felt happier in my life.
Epilogue
To do list: Completed
Grayson
“You’re still coming this weekend, right?”
