Page 110 of Never Have I Ever
Dance the pain away
Rosalie
I don’t want to be here.
I want to go back to bed and bury myself in my sheets until I can get Grayson’s smell out of my mind. I love the girls, and I appreciate everything they’re doing to try and make me forget about the hollow feeling in my chest, but right now, I would prefer to be alone.
I don't want to move on or meet anyone new. I just want to be alone in my misery and focus on how I'm to blame for how I'm feeling. That I was dumb enough to fall for a guy that specifically told me not to do that.
“You want another drink?” Leila asks.
I shake my head, fiddling with the straw in my empty glass.
“Maybe she wasn’t ready yet,” Gabi says.
“I wasn’t,” I mumble.
“She doesn’t need to get under a guy today,” Madi says. “She just needs to get out of that apartment and hang out with us. She needs to see that Grayson isn’t the only guy that exists. There’s plenty of guys who’d be interested in her,” she says.
I glance up, meeting her eyes. “I don’t want anyone else,” I tell her. Because the truth is, even if there were a row of guys standing outside waiting for me, I wouldn’t even glance their way. I want Grayson. I love Grayson, and I can’t have him.
“Right now,” she says. “You’re hurting. I get that, but you’ve got to accept the fact that you and Grayson aren’t going to happen.”
I shake my head, feeling the tears spring in my eyes. “I love him, Madi,” I tell her. “How am I supposed to get over that? I can’t just turn those feelings off.”
How did I even get into this position? I wish I hadn’t gone to that party or played Never Have I Ever, or gone to Grayson’s house begging him to take my virginity.
“I know, Rosie. I know,” she says.
“Just hang out with us tonight,” Leila says, putting her hand on my shoulder. “I promised you a tub of ice cream when we get home.”
“Two,” I say, holding up two fingers.
She smiles. “Okay, two,” she agrees. “But that warrants at least a walk to the bar.”
I sigh. “I don’t want another drink.”
She nudges me on the shoulder. “Who said it was for you?” she says, a smirk on her face.
The others start laughing, and I choke out a laugh, too, lifting out of the booth. “Fine,” I say. “What do you want?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “A beer is fine.”
I look down at her glass, still half full. I don’t even think she wanted another drink. She just wanted to give me an excuse to not sit in the booth sulking all night.
I smile down at her, silently thanking her, and then turn, heading for the bar. I see Aiden at the counter once again, and he smiles when he sees me walking towards him, and I give him a tight-lipped smile.
I want to ask him. Should I ask him?
“Hey, Rosalie,” he says, flashing that grin that makes girls fall to their knees.
“Hey,” I say, leaning against the counter and sliding over the cash. “A beer, please.”
He snorts. “You don’t really look like the beer type,” he says, lifting his brow.
I laugh. “It’s not for me,” I tell him, turning my head and pointing at Leila, who’s now in the corner of the room, talking to some guy. “It’s for my friend over there.”
“Does your friend have a name?” He asks.
