Page 61 of Never Have I Ever
“About whatever it is you’re trying to escape from.”
I let out a scoff. She just heard what I’m trying to escape from. I want some excitement in my life before I’m subjected to a life where I’m planning cocktail parties with my country club buddies. “I’m not trying to escape,” I tell her. I don’t want to go into the details of my impending doom.
“Really?” she asks. “Because I never see you anymore, and you’ve been skipping class, and now you’re asking for drugs.” She exhales. “Is there anything going on?”
“I promise, nothing’s going on.” I bite my tongue. I feel bad for lying to her, not letting her in on what I’ve been doing and who I’ve been seeing. But we said this would be a secret, so I don’t want to break the spell of whatever it is we have. If I start to tell people, it’ll become real. They’ll ask questions about what we’re doing and what this means, and I don’t have the answers to that.
What even is my and Grayson’s relationship? Fuck buddies? We haven't even had sex yet. Last night, he gave me two of the best orgasms of my life. But he left right after. He was hard; I could see it poking against the fabric of his jeans, and even though I didn’t know how to please him, I wanted to learn, I wanted to try. But instead, he helped me into the shower, gave me a kiss, and left. By the time I stepped out of my bathroom, he was gone, and the apartment was painfully silent.
I wanted him to stay a little longer, and maybe even stay the night, but he obviously didn’t want the same thing. I know he doesn’t want me to catch feelings, but I don’t think that will happen. I just like spending time with him.
“Yeah,” Leila says. “I think I can get some for you.”
I smile at my best friend. Grayson turned me down when I asked him for drugs. I’m not exactly sure why, but Leila was my next best option, and she’s willing to deliver.
20
A bad high
Rosalie
I’ve never been happier to see my apartment building.
I’m drained. I can’t think of anything better than going home after a long day of classes.
I push open the revolving doors and walk inside the lobby, seeing my favorite concierge ever. My smile grows. “Hey, Andrew.”
His pale face heats with warmth, and he smiles back at me. “Rosie, darling. How are you?”
I sigh. “A bunch of homework and not enough time.”
He laughs, and the sound makes me feel warm. Andrew told me he’s been working at this apartment building for twenty years and has seen all of the changes the building’s been through.
When I first moved in, I used to talk to him a lot. I find it endearing that he says I remind him of his granddaughter. I always wondered what my grandparents were like. My father’s grandparents were loaded and bought him his first house, but I never got to know them because they died when I was still young.
I never really heard about my mother's parents. My mother once told me that she didn’t have the life I had and wasn't given everything like I was. Other than that, I know nothing about them.
“Well, I won’t keep you,” he says. “I’ll just give you your mail and let you go on your way.”
He hands me a bouquet of flowers and a small cardboard box. I can’t stop the grin that blooms over my face at the sight of those flowers.
“Got yourself a boyfriend?” he asks.
“No, just a friend,” I say.
He shakes his head as I take the flowers and box from him. “Friends don’t give other friends flowers, Rosie.”
I smile sweetly at Andrew. “It’s not like that. We really are just friends.”Friends who’ve seen each other naked. But I don’t mention that to him.
“See you later, Andrew,” I call out as I make my way to the elevator.
I head towards my apartment door, unlock it, and step inside. I look down at the flowers grinning at the fact Grayson bought me flowers again. I replace the roses with these new ones. They’re different this time but equally as beautiful. Blue. The most beautiful blue I’ve seen.
I notice a card stuck to the white paper the flowers are wrapped in. I pick up the card and open it up.
The woman said these were called tulips.
They reminded me of what you were wearing last time I saw you.
