Page 46 of Never Have I Ever
He shakes his head. “I can’t help you with drugs. I’m not giving you drugs. Don’t ask me to.”
He looks down, his face pained, so I don’t push him on it. “Okay,” I say, “but I still want the other things.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t live for other people. Live for yourself,” he says. “Those are things that you think you have to do, what other people want, Rosie. What doyouwant?”
I sigh, letting my head tilt back. “I don’t know,” I admit.
His thumb brushes my cheek, and I let my eyes flutter closed at the feel of him. “You do know, Rosie. C’mon.”
I turn to look at him, staring into his eyes. “I want to go on a date,” I tell him. “I want to go skinny dipping. I want a kiss in the rain, like in the movies, you know?” I swallow and turn my head away from him. “I want to have my first kiss.”
His thumb drops lower until he cups my chin. He gently tugs my chin and lifts my head until my eyes make contact with his. “You’ve never been kissed?” he asks, his eyes dropping down to my mouth.
I shake my head, my eyes roaming all over his face, but his gaze remains on my lips. His thumb reaches up and brushes my lower lip. I part my lips for him with a silent gasp. I feel the callouses in his fingers, and they feel so rough against the soft skin of my mouth.
“How is that possible?” he asks; his eyes finally travel up until he meets my eyes. His hands drop from my face, and I let out a breath. I don’t know if it’s a breath of relief or one that I have been holding in ever since he placed his hands on me.
“I was never allowed out,” I tell him. “My mother was… overprotective doesn’t even begin to cover it. She was overbearing. I was homeschooled all of my life.”
Grayson leans back into the bench, facing the lake as I speak. “I begged her to go to public school for as long as I can remember. I needed something. I hated staying in that house day after day, surrounded by the same people. And in my sophomore year, she allowed me to.”
I sighed. “I was shy and a little scared when I first started school, so I didn’t really make a memorable impression on a lot of people. Leila became my best friend, and I’m so grateful that I had someone like her. But to answer your question, I’ve never had an opportunity where I would even be alone with a boy. My first crush was a guy named Tommy.” I tell him. “He was in my math class, and he did try to talk to me, but I didn’t know what to say, I guess. I was a mess. I couldn’t even speak to him.”
I turn my body to face him and notice that his eyes are already on me. “So, that’s why I’m asking you for this. I don’t know why I asked you, really.” I admit. “I just thought you’d be the perfect person to help me in any way you could.”
I shake my head. “And I know you said we wouldn’t ever get involved that way, but,” I shrug, “Ben seemed interested. Or maybe if I find someone else —”
“I’ll do it.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“I’ll do it,” he says. “I’ll help you. With everything.”
Is he saying what I think he is? “You mean…?”
“Yes.”
I inhale deeply. “But, what about what you said?”
“That still stands,” he says. “We’re not dating, and you can’t catch feelings. But if you still want to—”
“I want to,” I interrupt before he can back out of this.
“Then I’ll do it.” He leans in closer. “I’ll teach you everything; I’ll show you everything. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.”
I hold my breath, unable to form words. “Really?”
His fingers brush my cheek, making me gasp. He cups my face with one hand and leans in until he’s right in front of me. “Yes, angel,” he whispers. “I’ll do it.”
16
First kisses
Grayson
I lean in and crash my lips with hers. The moment our lips meet, she lets out a gasp. It’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard, and I’ll do anything to hear it again. I lift my hand and cup the back of her head, wanting her closer. My other hand strokes her cheek while we kiss.
She tastes so sweet, just like I thought she would. Her lips are nothing like I’ve ever felt before. They’re so soft, like butter, and they taste addictive, like strawberries or candy. I want more, but I need to remember that this is all new to her, and she’s inexperienced.
