Page 63 of You're So Vine
I knew we should have saved the hot make-up sex until after the talking. Then again, we’ve now had our second argument, so maybe that warrants another round?
Ava. No. Calm those hormones and focus on what’s important.
“You know, today I vowed to be honest with you,” I tell him. “I also vowed to apologize for being an attack raptor. That’smybad ol’ habit. Merest hint of a threat and I go straight for the soft parts.”
“Whereas all I do is run and hide,” says Cam. “These days, anyhow. Wasn’t always like that.”
“Two sides of the same coin,” I tell him. “Fight and flight. Both mean we’re avoiding facing up to whatever’s making us uncomfortable.”
“Shit…” says Cam. “You’re right.”
“Doesn’t mean I have a clue how to do things differently,” I admit. “But I’m willing to try.”
I press my face into his shoulder, brush it with a kiss. He smells so good, like sex and sweat and the smokiness of Fall.
“We could start by sharing one secret each,” Cam suggests quietly. “Not that one—” he adds, as I raise my head looking eager. “One of our own secrets.”
I give a mock shiver. “Sounds terrible, but okay.”
And then I say it before he can. “You go first.”
ChapterTwenty
CAM
“No fair,” I protest. “You took advantage.”
Ava laughs. “Of what?”
“You’re quick and small, and I’m big and slow.”
She looks smug. “No backsies.”
Shit.
“Is this how it works in your family?” Might as well try a few delaying tactics. “You snooze, you lose?”
“No, we fight to the death,” Ava replies. “It’s likeHighlander”—she drops her voice down to a dramatic register—“there can be only one.”
Then she pokes me in the shoulder.
“Stop procrastinating. It’s my turn after you, and I hate waiting.”
Okay. Guess it’s show and tell time…
My breath has quickened, and I can feel my heart thumping. It’s all I can do not to throw off these covers and make a naked dash for freedom into the woods. Old habits coming to test me. Old fears coming to haunt me.
I’ve pushed people away for years because I’m afraid they’ll despise what they see when the curtain’s pulled back. When they see the real Cam Hollander. But I know Ava’s right about talking. I know the cost of bottling everything up. I’m about to share a prime example of that.
I bet Ava has never done anything really bad. She might have pissed a few people off in her time, but I bet she’s never betrayed a trust, and so badly that no matter how often they say they forgive you, you know you can never fully make amends.
Can I let Ava see that side of me?
Guess there’s only one way to find out. Can’t be worse than being chased by a camel spider. Least, I hope not…
“This involves Lee,” I tell Ava.
Her mouth tightens. “Figures.”
