Page 114 of Reputation
Shaking her head, Mandy smiled back.“Don’t make me regret telling you.”
“You’re an angel, Mandy.Truly.I owe you big,” he said as he backed out of her office.
“I’ll remember that!”she called after him.Jax could hear her laughter follow him as he turned and made his way back down the hallway.
He would have his chance tomorrow and vowed nothing would get in his way.Now, he just had to figure out what he would say to her.He knew she would try to get away as fast as possible, so he had to make every moment he had her trapped count.
On Friday evening, Eavie checked her appearance in the bathroom mirror one more time.Applying a fresh coat of her Chanel red lipstick, she tied her scarf in a simple knot, then donned her navy-blue peacoat and faux leather gloves.Giving her hair one last check to ensure the bun remained intact, she grabbed her purse from the counter and left the restroom.
She went to the elevators and pressed the down button, checking the time on her phone.Eric would meet her out front any minute.
When the elevator doors opened, she slid her phone into her coat pocket and stepped on, letting them close behind her.She rode the elevator to the lobby and approached the building’s ground-floor entrance doors.As she stepped through the revolving glass, she noticed a light snow had fallen.
They were in mid-November now, approaching the holidays.It was only a few weeks before the Christmas break, where there would be no games for a week.Maybe she would take some vacation and enjoy an extended break back home.It would be nice to take Snow out in her namesake weather, with the frosted countryside for comfort.
Eavie pulled her coat tighter as she looked around the front walkway for her brother, trying to spot him through the crowds moving up and down the sidewalk.Instead of finding him, her eyes made contact with the only other person standing perfectly still on the stone steps.
Her breath caught in her throat as her gaze settled on Jax, the clear gray of his boring directly into hers.Stunned, Eavie’s brain lost all capacity to think.She stood there staring at him, unsure what to do but unable to move.In a single instant, everything she felt for him, every feeling she had suppressed, came rushing to the surface like a tsunami, and she was suddenly drowning.
Eavie stood there, looking at his chiseled face, watching his tall figure take three slow steps toward her.Being this close to him, seeing him looking so damn handsome in his black coat and jeans, Eavie was rooted in place, as if the snow and cold had frozen her to the stones.
Behind Jax, past the people streaming up and down the sidewalk, a car horn blared, snapping her out of her trance.Glancing around like an animal about to be cornered, Eavie took a step to move past him.
“Eavie, wait,” Jax said, stepping sideways to block her path.Their combined movements inadvertently had them moving closer together, and Eavie cursed at the mere two feet between them.
“I have somewhere I have to be,” she said, looking past his shoulder, knowing she would break down if she looked him in the eyes again.
“Please,” he said, pausing, waiting for her to look at him.When her eyes stayed fixed over his shoulder, he continued.“I just need five minutes to explain.”
Shaking her head, she said, “What’s there to explain?We slept together, and in less than a week, everyone knew.Whether you told them or someone else did, the entire building knew god knows how quickly.”
“Cinderella, please, believe me when I say I didn’t tell anyone.I would never do that to you.I never wanted to hurt you.”
“And yet, I was still the one who got hurt,” she said softly, finally looking up at him.His eyes were so sincere that she had to remind herself that it didn’t matter.He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to stop him.“I told you that my reputation was everything to me.It wasmycareer on the line,myreputation that I’ve worked so hard to cultivate.I jeopardized it, and for what?A relationship that was doomed from the start?”She paused, taking in a shuddering breath.She was on the verge of tears, whether from heartbreak or anger, she didn’t know.Swallowing the lump in her throat, she continued, “I won’t make that mistake again.I shouldn’t have made it the first time.”
“Eavie, I’m so sorry.I know you feel betrayed right now, but I need you to believe me.”He lifted one hand to her cheek, his eyes boring into her soul.“Baby,” he whispered, the reverence she heard making her heart gallop in her chest.“Iloveyou.”
A sob tore from her, and she squeezed her eyes shut against the onslaught of tears that rose.Her lips parted with a breath as she attempted to control the emotions elicited by his confession.
She had not been expecting that, and the force of the words nearly had her collapsing into him.Hearing those three little words nearly shattered her already fragile emotions.She was holding on by only a thread to the last vestiges of her control.The only thing keeping her from falling into his arms and accepting what he was offering was fear.
“Those nights we spent together were some of the best nights I’ve ever had.You are incredible, and the chemistry between us…it’s more intense than anything I’ve ever felt.When I told you I didn’t have a heart to offer you, I thought that was true.But somewhere along the way, you got it beating again.”Her breath shuttered in her throat as she trembled beneath his hands.“When I woke up that first morning with you curled in my arms, I never wanted to let you go.I wanted to see you, take you on a date, talk to you for hours.You are the most interesting, intelligent woman, and I want to be with you.
“When I got to the arena last week, I went straight to my session with the strength coach.I found out everyone knew at the team meeting.I didn’t know what was going on until Cole told me.”He took a small step forward.“He saw us, Eavie, as we left.In the parking garage, he saw me kiss you when you got into my truck,” he paused, placing his finger under her chin.He tilted her head up until she looked directly at him, their faces only a few inches apart.“I swear to you, baby.I didn’t tell anyone,” he said, looking down into her eyes.
Baby.Just that single endearment had her heart squeezing painfully.She gazed back at him, reading the emotions in his eyes.She could see the truth of what he was saying.He truly loved her, but while hearing him say that brought her utter happiness, it didn’t change anything.Fear clawed at her, gripping her mind, heart, and soul in its razor-edge clutches, forcing her to pull away.
Removing her chin from his hand, she took a step back.“Jax, you have no idea what it means to hear you say that,” she said, watching his face light up at her words, a small smile touching his lips.“But it doesn’t change anything.”Confusion replaced his smile as his eyebrows knitted together.“Regardless of who told them, what people would think was what I feared most, why I put up walls between us and tried to keep you at a distance.It’s the reason I couldn’t give in to…these feelings,” she said, gesturing between them.“And it’s why, no matter how much your words mean to me, we can’t be together.”
“Don’t say that,” he pleaded.“We can be together, find out where this could go,” he said, reaching for her, grasping her upper arms.“I know about the CRA.Give me the word, and I will sign one for you.I would tell the whole world that you are mine without a single hesitation.”
“For how long, Jax?”she asked.“How long would I be yours for?What is it you want from us?”
He stood and looked at her for a moment, hands still grasping her arms.After a minute, he finally answered.“I don’t know,” he said, holding her tightly, as if she would disappear if he loosened his hold.“I don’t know, baby.I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t know what will happen next, but I want to find out.I want to hold on to this as long as possible, prove that I love you every day for as long as that remains true.We can explore what’s between us and see where it goes.”
“I can’t do that,” Eavie said softly.He turned to look back at her, gazing into her eyes pleadingly.“What happens if it doesn’t work out?You can’t promise me anything, and I wouldn’t ask you to.”She gazed up at him softly.“What happens when it ends and everyone knows we broke up?It won’t affect you because you’re you—the captain of the Royals.But it will always follow me.Maybe I won’t lose my job, but everyone will remember that I’m the woman who dated the star player and was left brokenhearted.It will be the only thing people remember about me.No one will think about my skills or the career I’ve worked hard for.People will only think that I’m Jax Morghan’s ex-girlfriend.They will talk about how sad it is that it didn’t work out and how hard it must be to see you every day and watch you date other women.That’s what will happen to me.”
Jax shook his head, a desperate look in his eyes.“You don’t know that.You don’t know that it won’t work between us.What if everything does?I would spend every day of my life making you happy.”
