Page 72 of Taeja

He looked at her for the first time. “Can I trust you, Taeja?” he asked, and she nodded without hesitation. “Say it.”

“You can trust me, Zain.”

He searched her face for a moment before he looked at the shadows. “I’ve never told anyone else this before. Legally, I’m not allowed to. So, when you wake up tomorrow, you can’t remember this conversation.”

“I won’t betray your trust like that. Ever,” Taeja promised.

“The branch of the army is called The Federation. We are trained to ambiguously execute high-ranking foreign officials,” he said, shooting her a glance to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were wide and her lips were slack, rightly so, but she didn’t say anything, and it implored him to continue. “Every nation has its secrets, but if it got exposed that something like this exists in the country with the most world power, imagine how it would look on us as a country.

“The job of all soldiers in The Federation is considered more intense and high-risk than those who are sent to war, so we don’t abide by certain rules. The last mission my squad — Squad Four — was sent on, was to a Middle Eastern country. They were refusing to share their oil, and that was where my squad came in,” he said.

“As an incentive? Take away what they’re used to, then offer them help to control them?” Taeja asked.

Surprised, he looked at her. Taeja was deeply intrigued, and it shocked him. He wasn’t one to make comparisons, but whenever he tried talking to Adelaide about what he could speak of in the military, she never showed interest.

He nodded before looking away. “But it didn’t go exactly as planned. We got bad intel, and the plan almost backfired, but we got the job done. When wereturned, our lieutenant interrogated all five members of Squad Four. They never told us why Marco did it, but they ensured none of us ever thought of going against our oath again.”

Taeja gasped, and his eyes snapped to hers. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “They… did this to you?” she forced out, and Zain nodded slowly. Taeja’s lips trembled. Anger surged in her watery eyes. “That nuh mek nuh sense! Why dem do yu this when ano your fault Marco betray unu?!”

He shrugged. “That’s the oath of The Federation. A squad is one band, one sound. We are lucky to be spared.”

Taeja angrily shook her head, using the back of her hand to wipe her eyes. “That’s not right. It’s not fair. I thought mercenaries did this to you—”

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“Don’t apologize about that. I understand you had no choice, but that still doesn’t make it right—”

Zain looked away from her, his eyes fixing on an ugly painting of an ox on the wall before the bed. He knew Taeja meant well, but he hated being pitied. Especially at a time like this. Speaking about it felt like reliving the worst months of his life, but it also took some weight off his shoulders.

So, he continued, “They were merciless on Marco. He and another died five months in, and the rest of us had to spend a month with their rotting bodies locked in the same room. When it was over, The Federation gave us a cover, and the next thing we knew, we were in formation waiting to be tapped out with normal soldiers.

“Marco was Liza’s husband. She fell to her knees when she didn’t see him, and it makes me angry every time I remember how the lieutenant handed Liza a flag and condolences when the military killed him. Liza couldn’t settle with only blaming mercenaries, so she blamed me, too. She always made Marco and I swear to protect each other, so she thought I didn’t do my best,” he said.

“That’s why you’re mad at her?”

He nodded. “I know Liza can’t handle the truth. It’s best she thinks Marco died a hero rather than a traitor—” He tensed as Taeja leaned over, bringing a hand close to his face. He leaned back when her thumb met his face. Taeja had alwaysrespected his boundaries or asked before touching him, so why would she—

She trailed a finger beneath his eye. When she pulled back and dried it on her shirt, it surprised him.

He was crying?

He rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, his mouth slackening as he felt a trace of wetness.

Taeja chuckled lightly. “Those are called tears. You’re human, Zain. Not the machine they made you.”

Something shifted inside him. He was unsure what it was, but it made his heart race and the hairs on his arms and nape stand. He never experienced this before… As scary as it was — asshewas — Zain was intrigued. “You make me feel, Taeja,” he whispered.

A small smile crept on her face. “Good things?”

“I think it is.”

Taeja’s smile widened, then morphed into a long yawn. She covered her mouth and said sheepishly, “Sor— I mean, excuse me.”

“I can work with that,” he said before tapping the bed. “Get some sleep.”

She nodded and laid down, facing away from him. “Zain?”

He looked at her. “Yes?”

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