Page 190 of Taeja

Sighing, he closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand his thoughts anymore. They always plagued him whenever he was left with them for too long. He needed a distraction.

“Taeja?” Zain said.

“Yes?”

He smiled. Taeja had a beautiful, soothing voice. He could listen to her talk all day and not get bored or annoyed.

“Why did you tell me you love me?” Zain asked.

She leaned off his chest to look at him. Her brows pulled together. “Huh?”

“Why did you tell me you love me?”

“Because I do,” she said. “And I was trying to make you feel better.”

His brows furrowed. Was that supposed to work?

Zain… loved… that Taeja loved him, but his anger was always blinding. He would’ve preferred if she made him fuck her.

He cleared his throat as she laid back down on him. “I don’t know how to say this without hurting you.”

“Then don’t say it.”

“I have to, so if this happens again, you’ll know how to actually… help me.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“Words don’t mean much to me, so don’t tell me you love me when I’m angry. Just let me fuck you. Hard. Like I did today.”

“Zain, I love having sex with you, but yu hood too big. Mi can barely tek dat pon a good day. The pain’s nice in the moment, but I can’t do that every time. But… I hear you. No I love yous.” She sounded sad on the last bit, and he sighed.

Of course, he’d be stupid and still hurt her when he was only trying to work on their relationship.

“Zain. You’re getting hard again,” Taeja said.

“Sorry. Get off me.”

“No.” Taeja shuffled around. “Why does anger get you horny?”

“The Federation made me this way.”

“Mi nuh waa laugh. Wa yu just say?”

Zain scoffed. “It’s not like you’re taking it. The thing with killing people is that no one ever talks about the remorse you feel after it, even when you kill someone for a good reason. I play God when I decide who lives and who dies every time they deploy me, and it always leaves anger inside me. Sex helped me. Foreign women love men with accents—”

“I don’t think you have an accent.”

“Because you’re from Florida. I sound normal to you.”

“True… Continue.”

He tightened his grip on her ass. “Those women made me do whatever I wantto them. The Federation still owns me, but the power I have during sex makes me feel like I still have control over my life.”

“Now your dick gets hard every time you’re angry?”

“Yeah…”

“Do you want a blowjob?”

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