Page 44 of Song Bird Hearts

“That’s a stupid fucking idea,” I snarl at her as Wolf leans against the cabin wall. I don’t trust the motherfucker as far as I can throw, but the way he stares at Val, I know he’s not a threat to her.

Anyone else though? That’s to be debated.

“Why is it stupid?” she asks.

“We can’t go to the one fucking place they’ll look for you,” I grit out, like it’s fucking clear as day. Because it is. It might as well be a neon sign. For fuck’s sake!

“My fans are brave enough to out the Foundation at every turn. They’ve been doing it since I livestreamed. The least I can do is stand strong in the face of it so they have something worth being brave for,” she explains.

It’s clear she’s already thought this through, and that pisses me off even more. I should have known when she’d watched video after video of her fans trying to solve the puzzle, outing the Foundation at every turn, putting themselves in danger to take the heat off of her. I understand where she’s coming from. If she comes out and takes control, it’ll take the focus off of her fans and keep them safe. It’s a game of cat and mouse, with the Foundation thinking they’re the cat. I don’t have full faith that Val isn’t the mouse.

“You’ll fucking die,” I growl, my expression tight.

“I can’t run forever!” she spits. “I can’t hide the rest of my life. Either I die as myself or a shell of it. The only question is when. I’d rather die now than hide for years and the two of you aren’t gonna be paid forever to be here. The faster we tackle the trouble, the better for everyone.” She glances at me and then away, and it breaks my ribcage wide open to think I’ve done that. God, I’m an asshole. “This industry crushes so many souls. If I continue to hide or run, they continue to win. I don’t wanna be another footnote in history.”

“She’s right,” Gilden says.

“Shut up, you fucker!” I snarl. “We can’t keep her safe there!”

Gilden shrugs. “I think we can?—”

“You’re gonna lose the woman you’re in love with,” I say venomously, knowing I’m being a real asshole, but not caring.

Gilden stiffens and glances at Val. He swears in his signature Cajun French and narrows his eyes on me, his face flushing. “I told you that in confidence,couillon.”

“White Stag Pastures is perfectly protectable,” Wolf interjects before things can get more out of hand. “If we have help.”

I run a hand through my hair in frustration. “This is fuckin’ stupid. Who the fuck are we supposed to call then? The fucking army? Get a grip. They have hands in everything?—”

“No,” Wolf says, interrupting my tirade. “We call everyone. Steele. Every connection. Every fan. We stand our ground and meet fire with fire.”

Anger fills me. Who the fuck does he think he is? I open my mouth to ask him exactly that, maybe tell him he’s a fucking idiot and can’t be trusted, but Val’s quiet words stop me in my tracks.

“Why does it matter?” she says, her eyes on the ground. Slowly, she looks up at me, and the emotion floating in her eyes nearly does me in. “I’m just a paycheck. This just means you get paid quicker if I’m wrong.”

I might as well have shot myself in the heart. I said those words. I fucking said them. And now, hearing them whispered back to me. . .

What the fuck have I done?

Gilden whips his head toward me. “You told her that? Even now?” His words are accusatory, rightfully angry. Gilden may not be the jealous type, but he is the protective one.

“We’re going,” Wolf declares like he’s in charge. “You either come along for the ride, bodyguard, or you sit up here in this cabin and fail to protect her. Which will weigh heavier on your soul is up to you.”

He takes Val’s hand gently, with all the care, care that I wish I could give, and leads her inside. Away from me. Where she belongs. He does take the opportunity to shoot a glare over his shoulder at me before he disappears inside with her. I deserve that look. Even if I don’t trust the motherfucker, I deserve it.

Gilden stands there, a sour expression on his face as he studies me. “You’re the biggestcouillonI’ve ever met, Knox.” He shakes his head. “A woman like that only comes around once in a lifetime and you’re about to pass up the opportunity.”

“I know,” I grit out. “And if I keep her at arm’s length, I won’t break her heart when she inevitably realizes I can’t be saved.”

Gilden laughs humorlessly, stepping forward into me. The fact he’s a full foot shorter than me does nothing to kill his menace. “Oh,couillon, couillon. Your first mistake is thinkin’ she’s tryin’ t’ save you.” He grabs my chin roughly, forcibly, stronger than I’ve ever given Gilden credit for. “Your second is thinkin’ she’s only a paycheck.”

He releases me and steps back. “Don’t you worry,couillon. I’ll be there to listen to the song about this moment. I’ll be there to pick up her pieces when you keep punishin’ y’self.”

And then he follows the other two inside, and leaves me out on the porch with every bit of emotion I don’t want to feel.

Chapter21

Valerie

---