Page 131 of Keeper of the Word
“Are you well?” Elanna asked.
Tara waved the question away. “Something terrible has happened this night. First, we hear of a hanging, and now a beheading? The sovereign is slipping into something dark.”
That was putting it mildly. Elanna hated that she could still visualize the horrific face of the ravenmaster. Nausea roiled in her stomach.
“Poor man. I ne’er meant—oh Tara! I said awful words to him. Words I ought not to have said.”
Stars. Guilt took a swing at her again. An uncomfortable thought poked at her. If she hadn’t been here, would he still live? Would the witch still be alive?
StarSeers aren’t meant to act.
“And how will we send a message to Sir Tolvar?” Elanna asked, holding her head in her hands. Her head spun. “We need him here, now.”
Tara paced the Delara. “And ’tis much too far to send someone on horseback. Or do you think we should still attempt it?”
Elanna shrugged and sat on one of the outer benches. She was having trouble focusing. “And what do we do about the starstone? I’ve no idea where to even begin.”
Tara stilled and paled. “We cannot feel the others. The cord of light is hidden from me.”
Elanna gave a feeble attempt to sense the connection between her and Kyrie, Casta, and Maristel, but she, too, discerned nothing.
Wait. Was there not something I was supposed to remember?She dug through her mind. But ’twas all she could do to concentrate on the tasks at hand.
She felt so hollow.
At least the others were safe in Ashwin.
“I do not know if I can bear this for a week.”
A week.
“Or more. My utmost concern is how cut off we are from the stars, too.” Tara knelt.
Elanna felt more than cut off. Her mind felt thick. Her stomach queasy.
“We can still pray.”
Elanna nodded and joined Tara, though she was not the least bit comforted in their prayer. A dread as tangible as the sealed Edan Stone in her pocket weighed on her.
Five days.Five days without the stars. They were ill. Elanna’s skin was clammy and chilled. When she studied a looking glass, she noticed her hair resembled wheat, not golden flax. She had no appetite. Her body ached in a manner that no position, lying down or sitting, could alleviate. And tired. She was so tired. Even if she’d wanted to test that her powers did not work, trekking down to the queen’s garden from her rooms seemed scores of leagues away.
But the worst part—the absolutely, most painful and excruciating part—of the last five days was that she could not feel her sisters. The hollowness where she should feel her cord of light was like losing a limb. Except it wasn’t physical. It dragged down her entire welfare, slanting every thought and feeling, making her outlook grey and muddled.
And nightmares. She’d not slept one night without waking in a cold sweat, scars of horrific scenes imprinted on her somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. One night, her scream had caused Joss to sprint into the room and shake Elanna awake, the claws of unconsciousness not releasing her even after her eyes opened.
“Hux,” she’d said. But, of course, he was not there. She’d not seen him since reentering the castle.
Barrett informed her that the Deogolian stood guard in the corridors once a day, taking a shift, but that Joss would not leave her post, and they’d exchanged more than one clash of barbs.
The only consolation was that she and Tara were no longer at odds. One night, Elanna had finally broken down and spilled the full events of the last weeks. To speak of Tam’s Ford was like an immersion of torture. Tara listened quietly and then embraced Elanna—an act most rare. Elanna melted into the comfort. She knew not if she would e’er fully recover, but Hux had been right. Acknowledgmenthadgiven a sense of repose.
Hux.
Elanna dragged her feet to her window in the pale purple light of dawn.At leasttwo more days of this. Hopefully not more. She wiped her damp forehead with a kerchief. A kerchief that Hux had offered her. She knew not what to feel about him.
Betrayed. That was one emotion.
The only other time Elanna had truly felt that was when Daved had taken her to the constable. But that had been for her own good, to protect her, had it not?
