Page 84 of Johan.

Every step away from her feels like a physical ache, a piece of me left behind with each footfall. The thought of staying, of turning back and holding her close again, tugs at me. But I can'tafford to screw things up now; we're so close to getting our revenge. I have to see this through, for both our sakes.

I quickly get dressed, my mind already shifting gears as I prepare to face Astrid. As I head out the door, I steal one last glance at Hannah. She waves, wearing nothing but my undershirt and a warm smile, a vision I want to hold onto.

Outside, I begin the walk back to my building. It’s already 6 p.m., and in January, darkness has long fallen over Cambridge. The evening air is sharp and biting, typical of winter. Streetlights flicker to life, casting pools of soft amber light as the sky deepens into an inky twilight. Each step feels heavier, burdened by the inevitable confrontation awaiting me. My breath rises in small clouds, vanishing into the cold night air as I approach my building, bracing myself for what’s to come.

By the time I reach my building, Astrid is standing there, looking annoyed, tapping her foot impatiently.

“You told me you’d be back home by six,” she snaps, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I know, I know,” I say, trying to placate her. “I was busy.”

“Busy with what?” she demands, her eyes narrowing. “This is your last night, and you didn’t even call.”

I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “I was finishing work; I need to get going; I’m having dinner with my parents tonight,” I say, making up an excuse so as not to have to spend the night with her. “It's a farewell thing before I leave.”

Astrid’s expression softens slightly, her stance relaxing a bit. “Can I come?” she asks, her voice a bit gentler.

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather spend some time with my family alone,” I reply, hoping she'll understand.

Her eyes flash with anger. “We barely spent any time together, Johan!” she exclaims, her voice rising. “You always have some excuse.” She narrows her eyes and steps closer.“Maybe I should go to the Dean and tell him a word or two about Hannah.”

Frustration bubbles up inside me. My hands clench into fists, and I feel a surge of anger. “Please, go ahead and see how fast your dad will stop you before you do some shit,” I snap back, my voice low and dangerous. “I have no time for your bullshit.” I take a step closer, looking her directly in the eyes. “Now, if you excuse me, I’ve got to go and get ready.”

Astrid glares at me, her face flushed with anger. “Sorry,” she says through gritted teeth. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’ll come back in a few weeks. I’ll keep you posted.” I lean in enough to give her a quick smooch on the lips, long enough for her to calm down. She pulls me in for another one until I finally break free and bid her farewell. Then I turn away, feeling a mix of relief and exhaustion. The cool air helps clear my head as I walk back to my apartment. Once inside, I take a moment to collect myself. The warmth of the living room is a welcome contrast to the cold outside. I head to my room and quickly change into something more comfortable. As I button up a fresh shirt, I pull out my phone and call my dad.

“Hey, Dad. I’m heading home for dinner,” I say, trying to keep my voice casual.

There’s a pause on the other end. “Johan, we didn’t know you were coming. But of course, we’re happy to have you.”

I take a deep breath. “I’m only coming if it’s just you and Mum, though. No one else.”

My dad reassures me, “We were just about to have dinner, just the two of us. Come on over.”

I hang up, feeling a bit more at ease. Before leaving, I walk over to the window and cautiously peek out, making sure Astrid has indeed left. The street below is quiet, and I don’t see her anywhere. Satisfied, I grab my keys and head out to retrieve my car from the parking lot.

The night is calm as I make my way to the car. The sound of my footsteps echoes softly in the stillness. Reaching the parking lot, I find my car and get in, the engine’s hum comforting as I start it up. With a final glance in the rearview mirror, I drive off towards my parents’ house, ready for a much-needed break from Astrid’s chaos.

31

Hannah

I wakeup to the sound of my phone beeping. Groggily, I reach for it on the nightstand, blinking against the bright screen. It’s a picture of Johan on a plane with Ludovic, Lukas, and the rest of the team, Johan smiling and looking ready for adventure, a glass of bubbly in hand. His message reads, “On my way to play Indiana Jones X.”

I smile at the thought of him off on such a wild archaeological dig. Stretching, I slip out of bed, shivering as my feet touch the cold floor of my dorm room. Outside, the January wind howls, rattling the old windows. It’s Cambridge in winter—bitterly cold, with rain drizzling against the glass.

As I make my way to the bathroom, I wrap my arms around myself for warmth. I splash water on my face, trying to shake off the sleepiness. When I look in the mirror, I gasp. Hickeys. Lots of them. Memories of last evening flood back, and my cheeks flush.

Grabbing my phone, I quickly type out a message to Johan.Just realized how much you marked my skin!

His reply is almost instant.Of course, I did. Sadly, on my end, I only have one small hickey of yours.

I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re impossible,” I mutter to myself, but I can’t wipe the grin off my face.

For now, I’ve got a whole week before classes start again. All I need to do is avoid Astrid and focus on my studies. The prospect of a quiet week dedicated to catching up on reading and preparing for the semester ahead is comforting. I take a deep breath, determined to make the most of this time and stay out of Astrid’s way.

I promised Johan I’d do this. I owe it to him. I owe it to myself. But as I stand outside the door of the therapist’s office, my heart is hammering so loud in my chest that I can’t hear anything else. My palms are damp, fingers fidgeting with the strap of my bag. For a second, I consider turning around and leaving. Just walking back out into the cold Cambridge air and forgetting I ever came. But I don’t. Instead, I swallow hard, take a deep breath, and knock softly.

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