Page 35 of Johan.

“Yeah,” Conrad says softly. “About Astrid, and the engagement, and... your situation.”

I look down at my hands, feeling exposed and vulnerable. I never thought Johan would tell my secret to Conrad without asking me first. “I'm sorry, Conrad. I didn’t mean for things to get so complicated.”

He shakes his head. “No, I should be the one apologizing. I tried to date you when you had so much on your plate. That was selfish of me.”

I smile slightly, grateful for his understanding. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Of course,” he replies warmly. “But do you have a plan in place? To deal with Astrid and everything?”

I nod, feeling a bit more at ease. “Yes. Sooner or later, Astrid will get what’s coming to her.”

Conrad leans back, contemplating. “For that to happen, you guys need to weaken her dad’s influence here at Cambridge. He’s a former alumnus and has been financing archaeological excursions for the past twenty years. He’s a major donor.”

I sigh, the weight of everything pressing down on me. The café’s cozy atmosphere feels stifling, the hum of conversations around us a distant murmur. “I was about to go and tell the truth to the dean, but he had just had a meeting with Ludovic himself. So yeah, we do have a way to destroy him. But it will take time.”

Conrad’s eyes soften with understanding. “It must be quite hard on you to see Johan with Astrid. How are you coping?”

I fidget with my napkin, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten. “I speak to Johan every day, and he promised me he won’t have sex with Astrid.”

Conrad raises an eyebrow, surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. “But it’s still so hard, knowing they’re together, knowing she’s always trying to get closer to him.”

Conrad nods thoughtfully. “Why don’t you invite him over for Christmas?” he suggests, his eyes brightening with the idea.

“What do you mean?” I ask, curiosity piqued.

“Astrid always goes somewhere exotic with her family for Christmas. You can invite Johan to the Netherlands while she’s abroad.”

An idea begins to take shape in my mind, a glimmer of hope cutting through the gloom. If I invite Johan to spend Christmas with Oma, he’ll be far away from Astrid. Oma knows the whole situation and would most likely be okay with it.

“That's brilliant,” I say, feeling a surge of hope. “I'll invite him tonight.”

Conrad smiles, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “Good luck, Hannah.”

As I leave the café to head to my next lecture, the wind whips around me, but the thought of seeing Johan, even if it’s just in a classroom setting, brings a slight warmth to my heart. I quicken my pace, eager to see him despite the complicated situation.

The classroom is already filling up when I arrive. I take my usual seat near the front, trying to focus on the lesson ahead. Johan is already standing at the front, preparing his notes. He glances up and catches my eye, giving me a small, almost imperceptible smile. It’s his last class before Professor Foster returns in January, and knowing that the faculty code of conduct won’t apply to him as a simple PhD student anymore gives me a strange mix of sadness and hope.

Johan begins the lesson, his voice clear and steady, as he delves into the intricacies of Heritage Studies. “Today, we'll discuss the importance of preserving cultural heritage and the ethical dilemmas that often accompany this field. Heritage is not just about preserving old buildings or artifacts; it’s about maintaining a connection to our past and ensuring it for future generations.”

I try to focus on his words, but my mind keeps drifting. How am I supposed to concentrate when all I can think about is the mess we’re in? Johan’s voice is soothing, yet it only reminds me of how much I want to talk to him, to be with him without the looming shadow of Astrid.

“Consider the case of the Elgin Marbles,” Johan continues, “and the ongoing debate about their rightful home. Are they better preserved in the British Museum, where they are safe andseen by millions, or should they be returned to Greece, where they hold deep cultural significance?”

As he speaks, I watch his gestures, the way his hands move expressively, and the intensity in his eyes when he’s passionate about a topic. I can’t help but admire him, but it also pains me. Knowing he’s so close yet so far because of Astrid and the complications she brings is almost unbearable.

My thoughts spiral. Maybe I should tell him everything today and lay it all out there. But what if it backfires? What if it pushes him further away? Johan is bound by the faculty code of conduct now, but once he’s just a PhD student again, things could change. I cling to that hope, even though it feels fragile.

“The ethical dilemmas in Heritage Studies are complex,” Johan says, snapping me back to the present. “It’s not always clear what the right choice is, but we must strive to respect the cultures and histories we study. Our responsibility is to those who came before us and those who will come after.”

The class nods in agreement, some taking notes diligently. I jot down a few points mechanically, my mind still racing. Maybe inviting him for Christmas is the right move. It would get him away from Astrid and give us some time together. But would he accept? The thought fills me with a mix of excitement and dread.

Johan wraps up the lecture, his voice softening as he concludes. “This will be my last class with you all. Professor Foster will be back in January to take over. It’s been a pleasure teaching you.”

A pang of sadness hits me, but I remind myself that this change might actually work in our favor. As the students file out, I linger at my desk, pretending to pack up slowly. Once the room is empty, I approach Johan, who is gathering his materials.

“Johan,” I say softly, not wanting to startle him.

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