Page 22 of Johan.

“Does anyone else know about it?”

“Only those who need to, and I’ve ensured they'll keep quiet,” she assures me, her voice a calm contrast to the storm brewing within me. “If this is how it’s going to be, then you need to be more careful in the future. If Astrid or her family find out?—”

“It doesn’t matter,” I interrupt sharply, the resolve in my voice surprising even me. “I’ll find a way to get out of this. And I’ll take care of the debts, too.”

My mother’s eyes hold mine, a mix of sadness and resignation reflecting back at me. She understands the stakes, but her belief in duty over personal happiness remains firm. I wonder if she chose my dad in the same light she’s pressuring me to choose Astrid.

After a long, heavy silence, my mother’s voice softens, her next words carrying a blend of hope and resignation. “All I ask for is that you think thoroughly about this. Astrid is a wonderful woman, and her family, too. Are you sure you don’t want to give this union a shot?”

Her plea, laden with genuine concern, hangs in the air. The weight of her expectations, the significance of my choice—it all converges into a knot of tension within me. I know in my heart that my path does not lie with Astrid, that what I feel for Hannah transcends the pragmatic confines of this arranged union. Yet, seeing the worry etched into my mother’s features, the earnest hope in her eyes that I might still reconsider compels me to offer her some semblance of peace.

“I'll think about it,” I say finally, the words hollow but necessary. The statement is more for her benefit than mine—a small concession to ease the immediate pressure and provide her some comfort.

Her expression eases slightly at my response, a mixture of relief and gratitude flickering across her face. She nods, accepting my answer for now as the best compromise she could hope for under the circumstances.

As she stands to leave, adjusting her purse over her shoulder, there's a weary acceptance in her posture, as if she, too, understands the depth of my conflict yet remains bound by her own beliefs and expectations about family and duty.

“Thank you, dear,” she says softly, offering a small, weary smile as she prepares to depart. “Just remember, whatever you decide, we love you and want the best for you.”

Her words linger in the room long after she’s gone, leaving me to ponder the immense burden of choice and consequence. While my promise to consider her words might have placated her for the moment, the decision looming over me remains unchanged. I know what my heart wants, and no amount of contemplation can alter the truth that beats strongly within me. As I sit back in the quiet of my now empty office, the images of Hannah flash through my mind, each a vivid reminder of where my true happiness lies.

10

Hannah

The eveningof Astrid and Johan’s engagement party arrives with a golden sunset casting long shadows across the campus. I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the dress I picked out a week ago before my relationship with Johan became so entangled. It’s a beautiful dress, a deep emerald green that complements my eyes and brings out the auburn highlights in my hair. I chose it because it made me feel confident and beautiful, but now, as I think about seeing Johan with Astrid, I wonder if it will be enough to shield me from the pain I know is coming.

The chill in the air reminds me that it’s late November, and I wrap a warm shawl around my shoulders. Beneath the shawl that I’ll be wearing lies a small backpack for my mission tonight. I take a deep breath, push the thoughts away, and start getting ready. My hands are steady as I apply my makeup, a mask to hide the emotions roiling beneath the surface. I curl my hair into loose waves, letting it fall naturally around my shoulders. When I finally slip into the dress, it feels like putting on armor, a last line of defense against the hurt I’m about to face.

Just as I’m finishing up, there’s a knock on the door. I open it to find Conrad standing there, looking impossibly handsome in a tailored navy suit that highlights his broad shoulders and lean frame. His dark hair is perfectly styled, and his olive skin glows in the soft hallway light. His brown eyes light up when he sees me.

“Hannah, you look stunning,” he says, his voice warm and sincere, a hint of admiration shining in his eyes.

“Thanks. You clean up pretty well yourself,” I reply, trying to muster a smile, my voice softer than usual.

He offers me his arm, and I take it, grateful for his steady presence. Together, we make our way out of the dorm and to the waiting car. The drive to Goschen Hall is filled with light conversation, but my mind keeps drifting back to Johan. I wonder how he’s feeling and if he’s as conflicted as I am.

When we arrive, Goschen Hall is breathtaking. The sprawling estate has manicured gardens and a grand façade that speaks of old money and tradition. The driveway is lined with cars, and I can see guests milling about, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to the anxiety tightening in my chest.

Conrad helps me out of the car, his hand warm and reassuring in mine. We walk up the steps to the entrance, where a liveried footman opens the door for us. Inside, the hall is even more impressive, with high ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and walls adorned with portraits of Astrid’s ancestors. The opulence is overwhelming, a reminder of the world Johan is being forced into.

As we move through the crowd, I catch sight of Astrid and Johan standing near the center of the room, greeting guests. Astrid looks radiant in a silver gown that clings to her curves and sparkles in the light. Her blonde hair is styled in an elegant updo, and atop her head rests a delicate tiara, subtly signaling her status above everyone else. Her smile is wide and confident.Johan, beside her, is the picture of calm in a classic black tuxedo, but I can see the tension in his eyes, the way his smile doesn’t quite reach them.

My heart aches at the sight. Conrad gently squeezes my hand, and I realize I’ve been gripping his arm tightly.

“You okay?” he asks quietly, furrowing his brow.

“I’ll be fine,” I whisper back, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “Let’s go say hello.”

We make our way over to Astrid and Johan. Astrid’s eyes light up when she sees us, and she steps forward, pulling me into a hug.

“Hannah! I’m so glad you could make it,” she exclaims, her voice bright and cheerful, her smile genuine.

“Thank you for having me, Astrid. Everything looks so beautiful,” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady though it trembles slightly.

She turns to Conrad, greeting him with the same warmth, before stepping back to stand beside Johan. My eyes lock with his, and for a moment, everything else fades away. There’s a flicker of something in his gaze, something that tells me he’s just as trapped as I feel.

“Congratulations, Johan,” I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper, laced with hidden emotion.

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