Page 20 of Johan.

She nuzzles closer, her voice a gentle murmur. “That’s because you are. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

We lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, savoring the beauty of the moment. The world outside may be rushing by, but here, in this bed, time stands still. And in Hannah’s presence, I find a peace I never knew I was searching for.

We spend the morning lazily wrapped in each other, basking in the comfort of our shared warmth and whispered conversations. As the day progresses and the sun climbs higher in the sky, we decide to make the most of the beautiful weather and go for a walk through the forest on the property. The Cotswolds are breathtaking, the lack of rain a rare gift that has left the landscape lush and vibrant.

The forest is alive with the sounds of birds and rustling leaves. The air is crisp and fresh, each breath filling my lungs with a sense of renewal. The ground is soft beneath our feet as we venture deeper into the woods, the path cushioned by a carpet of fallen leaves and moss. Sunlight filters through thecanopy, casting dappled shadows that dance with the gentle breeze.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” Hannah asks, breaking our comfortable silence. Her voice is soft, almost wistful, and it draws my attention to her face.

“It is, yeah,” I admit, glancing at her. Her presence is soothing, yet it stirs something deep within me, a mixture of peace and longing.

We walk side by side, the silence between us filled with the natural symphony of the forest. I notice Hannah becoming more pensive, her steps slowing, her eyes taking in the surroundings with a distant look. There's a heaviness to her movements, a subtle change that sends a ripple of concern through me.

“What a pity you are engaged,” she says suddenly, her voice tinged with melancholy. Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, stopping me in my tracks.

“It’s not gonna last long,” I assure her, hoping to ease her mind. “I’m doing everything I can to end it.”

She gives a small smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I hope so,” she says, looking down at the path. “I don’t have the profile to be your side chick.”

Her words cut deeper than I expected, a painful reminder of the complications we face. She tries to walk ahead, but I grasp her hand, pulling her back gently. The touch is electric, a lifeline I can’t bear to lose.

“I love you, Hannah.” The words spill out with an urgency I can’t contain. It feels like a confession I’ve been holding back for too long, a truth that demands to be spoken.

Hannah stops, turning to face me fully. Her eyes search mine, filled with uncertainty and hope. “Do you really mean that?”

“With all my heart,” I say, my voice steady and firm. “You’re not someone on the side. You’re everything to me.”

“Johan, I can’t…” she begins, her voice trailing off. I can see the tension in her shoulders and the way she’s holding herself back.

“If I’m going through all this pain, all this sacrifice, it’s because I love you, and I want you to know that,” I continue, my voice pleading. “You mean everything to me.”

“I hear you.” Her voice is barely audible. “Now, let’s go back home. I think it’s time for tea.”

Confusion and hurt swirl within me as I follow her. “Don’t you have anything to say about it?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady, but I can’t hide the frustration.

“I didn’t want to hear it in the first place.” Her voice is loud enough for me to hear it while her pace quickens as she heads back to the estate.

I chuckle bitterly, shaking my head in disbelief. “I just told you how much I love you, and that’s all I get?” I stop in my tracks, watching her continue to walk away. “Hannah?” I call louder. “I’m talking to you, for fuck’s sake!”

She finally stops, turns around, steps closer to me, and then says, “I heard you. I’m just... not ready to say it.”

“Why? Don’t you love me?” I ask, my heart aching.

“I do, but…” she pauses, searching my eyes as if weighing her words. “You’re still engaged.” She lets out a long, shaky breath as though bracing herself to unburden something deep. “I’ve cried so much these past weeks, Johan. You shattered my heart, and now… I need time to heal.”

“I understand.” Taking a few steps toward her, I gently remove a few strands of hair from her face, looking into her eyes. “Can I kiss you at least?”

She hesitates, then nods slightly. I lean in, our lips meeting in a soft, lingering kiss. The connection between us is undeniable, a silent promise of the love we both feel but can’t yet fully express.

As we pull away, I hold her close, feeling the warmth of her body against mine. “I’ll make this right, Hannah. I promise.”

She nods, resting her head on my shoulder. For now, that’s enough. We turn and head back to the estate, the weight of our unspoken words hanging in the air. The walk back is filled with a heavy silence, each step a reminder of the distance still between us.

We reach the edge of the forest, the estate coming into view. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, her voice breaking the silence. “I want to believe you. I really do.”

“I know,” I say, squeezing her hand. “Just give me time to prove it to you.”

She gives me a small, sad smile. “I will.”

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