Page 72 of Pistols and Plush Toys
“I’m fine.” Elliot cut in. He curled his arms around himself defensively. “It’s—it’s just some bruising.”
Except the quivering that started in his body told Nikolai what he needed to know. There was more than what he could see. The way Elliot was huddled up, looking small and fragile and too fuckingthin,made Nikolai sick and angry at the implication.
He tamped down on the anger, shoving it aside to be dealt with later. When Elliot wouldn’t catch any residual brunt.
Instead, he turned back to the dresser, reaching for the bag that did not contain a phone.
The gift was a risk perhaps, but it was worth atry.Elliot had been subjected to something horrible, and Nikolai didn’t want this conversation to be another horrible thing he had to get through. He wanted to do his best to lessen Elliot’s trauma, not add to it.
So Nikolai reached into the bag and pulled out the soft plush toy from underneath its tissue paper wrapping. Elliot’s gaze zeroed in on what he had in his hands as Nikolai stepped closer to the bed where he was seated.
“I’m thinking since Max is being fixed up,” Nikolai said, holding out the stuffed animal. A white sheep, with a squishy-soft body. “You do not have to tell me where you are hurt, but maybe you would tell ?????”
Elliot’s eyes widened, darting from Nikolai to the sheep in his hands. “Ovsta?” He tried to replicate the word.
“Sheep,” Nikolai said. He held out the toy. “Is for you. He wants to help.”
There was a tense moment where Elliot looked from the plush in Nikolai's hand, up to Nikolai, and back down. Where he seemed to be weighing if this helped or harmed.
Nikolai desperately hoped it was the former.
Then, miraculously, Elliot’s hands loosened their grip on the comforter. Instead, he reached for the bottom hem of his sleep shirt, and started to pull it up.
Oh.
“You’re not having to show me—” Nikolai rushed to say again, as Elliot bared his skin. He didn’t want Elliot to think he’d demanded such a thing, that he should bare his hurts to Nikolai, not just to a doctor who could actually do him some good.
Elliot licked his lips nervously and his gaze darted first to Sheep, then up to Nikolai’s face before skittering away. “It’s—it’s just this,” he said, voice quivering. “See? So I’m… I’m okay.”
Just thiswas a large, deep purple bruising that ran up Elliot’s whole right side. It was an impact bruise, like what a shoe would do to a person’s side if that person was curled up on the floor.
Nikolai had seen it on his own body enough to know.
It was a different kind of horror to see it on Elliot. Someone who wasn’t roughened by years of violence. Someone who hadn’t even opted into the kind of lifestyle that Nikolai had been raised in.
Before he even thought about it, his hand was moving, bringing the nose of the sheep to Elliot's skin, the soft fur barely touching.
“???? is sorry,” he said quietly. “That you were hurt.”
He didn’t know why he said it, but it felt right. Like having this little stuffed animal between them was a way to prove toElliot that Nikolai wasn’t going to be another person to abuse him. That he’d be gentle, as gentle as the soft, plushy sheep.
Elliot’s eyes welled with tears, and he squeezed them shut. But he didn’t move away, didn’t pull his shirt back down. Carefully, so carefully, Nikolai traced down his bruised side with the nose of the sheep, touching almost like a caress.
The moment spun out on gossamer threads. Nikolai didn’t know what he was doing, but Elliot didn’t shrink away from him. Tears spilled from the corner of Elliot’s eyes, but somehow Nikolai didn’t think they were painful tears. He could see it in the way Elliot’s breathing evened out, the trembling easing off.
Nikolai watched those shoulders drop slowly, as if releasing tension.
Like Elliot was starting to believe he was safe.
Then Nikolai's higher brain reminded him that he did have something medicinal for bruising.
“Hold on, ???? has idea,” he said and then turned and quickly and strode from the room. It took only a moment to pop into his own bathroom and find the numbing cream and painkillers in a drawer.
He came back with the sheep, hoping that the spell wouldn’t be broken. That Elliot hadn’t tucked himself back up behind walls.
And he hadn’t. He was still sitting there, eyes glossy as he watched Nikolai come back to the bed. Nikolai perched himself on the side just next to Elliot’s knees. He opened the bottle of painkillers first, offering three to Elliot and then reaching over to take the water off his bedside table.
Dutifully, Elliot swallowed down all three pills with water. Nikolai set the painkillers aside and then picked up the tube of arnica cream.
