Page 14 of Vanishing Point
Why shouldn’t she have a great boyfriend who was so good with her daughter? Why shouldn’t Magnolia have that kind of positive male influence in her life? Magnolia deserved theworld, and Vi had already made so many mistakes that might negatively impact her, how could she not want everything for her baby?
Besides, if it didn’t work out, if the cop thing became a problem, Magnolia wouldn’t even remember.
Vi convinced herself of that.
And still, months went by. Thomas never showed any “true colors,” and Vi fell more and more in love with him by the day. He became part of her life again, and part of Magnolia’s, and the one thing she kept waiting for—him to push her to talk about her marriage—didn’t come.
One night, curled up together on the porch swing after a family dinner and putting Magnolia down together, she wasn’t that shocked to hear him say the words,I love you, Vi.
For a second, it felt like they could erase fifteen years.
But they couldn’t.
“You’ve held off saying that because you want to know about my marriage.”
There was a pause. “Ouch,” he said, with a self-deprecating laugh. “Didn’t know I was that transparent.”
He wasn’t. Not really. But sheknewhim.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he said.
She knew he meant it. He wanted to know, but he wasn’t going to manipulate it out of her. It just wasn’thim, and as much as she still doubted herself sometimes, she could never find the well of distrust within her to not trust Thomas.
So she took a deep breath, and did the unthinkable. She went back to where it all began.
“He never hit me before we got married.”
Thomas was very still. He didn’t say anything. Just watched her with those patient eyes. Kind eyes.
Because didn’t it mean Eric wonagainif she didn’t believe any man could be kind, just because she’d had rotten taste in the man she’d agreed to marry?
“I always feel like I have to start with that.”
“You don’t have to defend yourself to me, Vi. I’ve seen…plenty,” he said after considering that last word. “I know it’s not simple.”
She nodded a little, grateful for that. An open-mindedness, even if it reminded her that not everyone who responded to domestic calls had that kind of empathy or ability to see a gray area.
“And he was good at…charmingsomepeople. My mom loved him. My dad didn’t, but you know my dad.”
“He’s not going to like anyone who touches you.”
She snorted a laugh. There was this strange, stabilizing comfort in the fact that he’d known herbefore. That maybe, just maybe, he saw her as the Vi she’d been back then. And shewasn’t that girl anymore, but she liked to think she was getting back some of that old confidence and strength.
“Yeah. In fairness, my stepmom didn’t like him either. But my friends were split. And it’s not like he’s the reason I dropped out of premed. I couldn’t pass those stupid chemistry classes. Sometimes I think, that’s really where it started. I’d felt smart and successful and important my whole life, and I couldn’t make it through my freshman year requirements and keep my scholarship.”
It still burned. Even after all these years. What a failure she’d made of her chance at something…great.
“I dropped out of Clemson. We couldn’t afford it without the scholarship. My dad and stepmom wanted me to get into a nursing program, so I did. But I felt…like a failure. And that made it more of a struggle than it needed to be. Especially when it came to taking the licensing tests. I just…” It still hurt. The way one failure had started a domino effect of self-doubt and no self-esteem. “I was too scared to take them.”
“You’d make a great nurse, Vi.”
He said that like she still had some kind of chance at something like that. And the craziest part was believing him. Maybe…maybe she could go back to school. Maybe shecouldbe a nurse. Wouldn’t that be a great thing for Mags to grow up and see?
“Maybe,” she said, because she didn’t want to get excited about it until she figured out the logistics. She wasn’tyounganymore. She was a mother. And she still had to tell this awful story.
“I coasted for a long while. Waitressing and just, honestly? Getting more and more depressed. I isolated myself from my friends, from my family, because I felt like such a failure. And then I met Eric. He seemed like a great guy. Funny and fun. Andreally into me. I felt like I needed that. Someone who didn’t look at me and seem disappointed.”
He didn’t have to say anything to know he wouldn’t have been disappointed in her. Then or now. But he hadn’t been there, and she’d felt surrounded by people who thought she’d failed.
