Page 60 of Within the Veil

Understanding thrums down our connection and Grayson's eyes soften. "Oh, Angel, you want a wedding?" Grayson says gently, putting a finger under my chin to tilt my head back until my gaze meets his. "Why didn't you say so?"

The measured, soothing tone he is using grates on me. Understanding and acceptance are two very different things. I scoff internally because, sure, I'm all about woman empowerment, but I'm not proposing to all of themandsaving the world. He winces as he catches the stray thought.

"We can make that happen, Hudson," Zane adds, cutting off Grayson's response. "You know that," Zane runs his hands up my arms, stepping closer to press his front against my back, caging me in between him and Gray.

My power spikes quietly, and I block off all my thoughts and emotions from them as my thoughts battle in an attempt to drown me. Logically I know that the fact we are 'fated mates' and all these squiggly lines all over my body and theirs means we are 'married.' No, in Fae and magical terms, it means our bond is soul deep, unbreakable. But even so, beyond the veil, there are ceremonies marking your connection when you are fortunate enough to find the one that is your other half. In my case, I found five.

With the endless talks of war, it is hard to ignore the nagging thought that I may lose them. Is it too much to want a little bit of normalcy? I went from a student at magic school to a mated Faerie Queen in the thick of war, to a comatose pregnant patient--all to wake up and actually be aGoddess,pregnant Faerie Queen in the thick of war.

Since waking up, life has been a constant barrage of research, responsibilities, and planning. Not to mention the emotional upheaval of going from a fighter to a hugely pregnant mother-to-be; From being grossly independent to needing help just to stand up from the floor. I don't even get to enjoy the stages of my belly growing as it isn't a typical pregnancy. No, because I'm Hudson and can't do anything in half measures, I'm having goddess, Djiin, water/spirit Faerie babies--something else that isn't 'normal.'

Everything is just... Well, it is just a lot. And yes, while I understand that time is of the essence and that I need to come to terms with the changes at a quicker pace than most people would, especially in my position, it is fucking overwhelming. I reserve the right to sulk, I just don't have time to.

So what if I wanted something a little normal like a wedding, to walk down the aisle and kiss the men and woman I love, promise them forever, and dance under the stars? It would be nice to have a sweet memory to hold on to. Something... not drenched in responsibilities and mayhem?

I take a deep breath in an attempt to center myself and my thoughts before I let them in again, well, partially, anyway. Because as it is, with the influx of information, the added emotions of all of those I am responsible for, the cries of the dying land, the Council shitting the bed, and now Shea's bomb, my thought process is too erratic. Then you toss in my frantic hormones, constant hunger, and mental tangents... well, some of have to remain sane, and the stress and ever-pressing weight of my responsibilities are mine to bear.

With a sigh and a small smile, I ignore the raw feeling of unvoiced frustration in my throat and push false cheeriness into my voice.

"It's fine. It's not like I'm not already claiming all of you let's get back to the task at hand," I push myself out from the man meat sandwich, not giving Zane nor Grayson to chance to voice the doubt that flickers in their eyes. "We cannot trust the Council to get things done, even if it's for a short period of time. They are a bumbling geriatric fuckup waiting to happen. With King being the only one here, and Zane and Oberon taking charge of training..."

I trail off, my eyes flicking to Shea.

"What are Luca and I? Chopped Fae liver?" Jensi scowls, crossing his arms over his chest.

Luca rolls his eyes before pinning him with a knowing look, "One, we are leaving with them, and two, you know very well we were there to funnel him information and jump in when needed. Three, you know why we went that route, you hate explaining yourself, and I hate unnecessary communication in general. King has experience as a teacher. His ability to teach and talk down is refined."

I nod at Luca. This is why he is the silent, strong type.

Jensi still pouts. I roll my eyes, "What he said. You two sit there as eye candy and pretty much feed King what he needs, like a strong glorified buff-fae. So we need someone who is ready to delegatealongwith King. Especially now," I say pointedly and with extra sweetness just to butter Jensi up. So needy.

"You won me over at eye candy," Jensi grins and waves me on to continue.

Remi frowns at me, her discontent with my change of subject clear on her face. Oh well. War, not feelings. We all can't be way-finders and sing songs during a battle with the island of Tafiti. Yes. Moana changed lives. That is all.

Remi nods at Shea, "Yes, Shea will have to take point along with King. While we are gone we will send can communicate our current situations, you can make your rounds and still be available to go to meetings. Of course," Remi points directly at Shea, "that means you'll have to stick around for more than the typical few minutes you usually need to make another secret baby descendant."Oooh, low blow.Get it?

Shea scowls, "Once I am caught up, I will help in any way I can."

Ryder whistles, "Man, not that it matters anymore but the Council is going to be pissed." He claps his hands with glee.

I scoff, "Tough shit. Do they think that we can win a war with fucking rose petals and floating vines? We got our asses kicked during a fuckingskirmish. We couldn't even qualify that as a battle. I was in acomaand still did more shit than they did."

"Growing babies doesn't count, Hudson," Jensi tossed in. My eyes narrowed, and he let out a yelp as a vine tied his arms down, and another spanked him repeatedly as he yelped in surprise. Luca fell down on the floor laughing, tucking his wings in to do so.

"Let the royal fucking record show that being pregnant does not mean being weak, it just means I will beat your fucking ass while I eat a goddamn pickle." I scowl. " Now, does anyone else want to tell me growing babies isn't constituted as 'doing shit'?" I look around the room as everyone stares at Jensi, laughing but avoiding my glare. "No? Good."

"Wait, " Shea says with a frown, "Why wouldn't it matter what the Council thinks? We will need their support to ensure that stability is maintained throughout the Realm."

I scoff, "You mean my mini-kingdom with a few thousand people who have been put on the back burner? Yeah well, with us implementing the Right of Conquest..."

"You did what?!" Shea jumps to his feet, cutting me off.

I glare at him, "You have been gone. Kalen is gone. My mates have been leading soldiers, and my sentinels have been trying to move things forward to at least get us in a good position to dosomethingand the Council has done fuck-all. They don't want to look for allies, and they don't want to get help from the magical community. What do you expect me to do? Let the twiddle their twigs and figs while our people suffer?"

Heat flushes through my body as I stand up and step closer to him, baring my teeth, "In case you didn't realize it while you were fucking galivanting through your top secret missions, let me paint you a fucking picture. I have a duty, not just to the Fae within our barrier but to the entire Seelie people, to an entire Kingdom. I do not have the luxury of time, I am working, not only with 300 years against me but knowledge that I will be giving birth to four children who will come into a world where we are constantly under attack. I plan to explain this to everyone and let them know that it is temporary and until I can whip up a Council that isn't completely useless. My choices are limited and I earned the right to invoke," my magic starts to spark as every word becomes more frantic and King, Jensi and Luca step closer.

I press a jerky fist to my heart, "Idiedfor my people. Kalendied. I refuse to stand back and let the blood of those I love, those I'm supposed to protect, stain my hands."

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